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Signs of the times? Civility may be at all-time low
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jbpink | 1:34 a.m. May 11, 2008
For most, it's do as I do, not as I say, no matter if it's good or not
good. We are blessed with reasonably respectful polite children. We
didn't go out of our way to teach civility or politeness. In fact we
actually forgot about it, but fortunately the "do as I do" fact of
life did our teaching for us. My children now often note that most of the
politest young people they know are those in their church or are immigrants
(them and/or their parents). So what happened to everyone else? One older and
wiser sage said it's the clothes we wear - we behave as we generally dress.
He said back when men wore suits & ties all the time and women dressed
accordingly we behaved as well dressed people. Now most look like slobs and act
like slobs. I think he has squarely hit the nail on the head with that one. A
slob is as a slob does.
Anonymous | 2:37 a.m. May 11, 2008
Cell phone users are the worst.
They don't have a clue when and where they "should" use their phones.
If you are driving, wait until you are stopped or pull over and use the thing. Don't risk my life because you are so focused on the call that you can't even pay attention enough to drive on the road. Have some respect for others...if you don't for yourself.
And...when in a restaurant or in the company of another person you are having a conversation with, end the call or don't even take it. If it isn't an emergency...have your callers use a signal if it is so you don't have to be rude and use the phone when you shouldn't.
As was mentioned in the article...how rude for someone to be on the phone when you are in the store and you are waiting in line for help but don't have the respect to end your call...I would ave to agree...next in line please!
It all boils down to one thing...Selfishness. Think of others and maybe you just might know or at least learn when you should be using your cell phone and other areas of good manners.
They don't have a clue when and where they "should" use their phones.
If you are driving, wait until you are stopped or pull over and use the thing. Don't risk my life because you are so focused on the call that you can't even pay attention enough to drive on the road. Have some respect for others...if you don't for yourself.
And...when in a restaurant or in the company of another person you are having a conversation with, end the call or don't even take it. If it isn't an emergency...have your callers use a signal if it is so you don't have to be rude and use the phone when you shouldn't.
As was mentioned in the article...how rude for someone to be on the phone when you are in the store and you are waiting in line for help but don't have the respect to end your call...I would ave to agree...next in line please!
It all boils down to one thing...Selfishness. Think of others and maybe you just might know or at least learn when you should be using your cell phone and other areas of good manners.
Well said.. | 3:56 a.m. May 11, 2008
I think this article was very well said. I don't like it when I see people
who aren't supposed to park in the Handicap spaces who "just need to
run in for a second" or the use of cell phones by drivers who then
don't pay attention to traffic and nearly wipe out the car in front of them
when it comes to stop at a light and they didn't realize that cause they
were to busy talking. So I can only say AMEN to this article.
Comments continue below
Roll my eyes | 5:14 a.m. May 11, 2008
Your article made good point. However, it talks about the problems from all
walks of life but lacks in resolution to their problem. People complains,
blame, and/or degrade to whatever degree they talk about. Interoffice gossip is
an example, it can be vile or whatever, just as long as it is "juciy",
they'll still spread around behind your back. I tried by being a good
example by being a dead end to these remarks. Did the karma catch on? No ...
Not even close. Ugh, where's the civility?
justme | 6:47 a.m. May 11, 2008
Kindness begins with me...
Denise | 7:40 a.m. May 11, 2008
These comment boards are a good example of "loss of civility." The
anonymity of the internet releases amazingly harsh and personal attacks. I would
love to use these boards as a discussion group, a place to ask questions and
learn from each other.
I am not suggesting they be removed, just stating my opinion and experience.
I am trying to teach my children good manners in two ways: I treat them with civility, and we avoid TV with negative examples. Yes, that is almost everything, even on "kids" channels. There are great shows however- "Dirty Jobs" on Discovery is one. The respect the host gives to the common working man expresses something wonderful, something I like my children to see, despite the occasional four letter word.
I am not suggesting they be removed, just stating my opinion and experience.
I am trying to teach my children good manners in two ways: I treat them with civility, and we avoid TV with negative examples. Yes, that is almost everything, even on "kids" channels. There are great shows however- "Dirty Jobs" on Discovery is one. The respect the host gives to the common working man expresses something wonderful, something I like my children to see, despite the occasional four letter word.
The real problem | 7:55 a.m. May 11, 2008
The vicious,obnoxious and condescending tone any political discourse takes, the
strident talking heads and condescending bashers supporting both major parties
have made this country much more rude overall. The total discounting and
devaluation of anyone with an opposing viewpoint even on a minor issue is not
uncommon these days.
I avoid discussion of religion and politics in public because those topics can start a hate fest and attacking faster than anything. All sides are guilty.
I avoid discussion of religion and politics in public because those topics can start a hate fest and attacking faster than anything. All sides are guilty.
Safe & Sane | 8:08 a.m. May 11, 2008
Utah drivers are extremely dangerous. They're both more aggressive and
less aware of their circumstances than drivers in any other city I've lived
-- that includes Las Vegas.
Slow down! Pay attention to your driving!
Slow down! Pay attention to your driving!
Lawrence, KS | 8:29 a.m. May 11, 2008
Amen to Denise. I am from the Netherlands and used to read the online paper on
a daily basis. I noticed I started to really dislike my former countrymen,
because of the harsh judgments expressed on the comment boards. I thought the
Dutch had changed, until Deseret News started to allow comments. The comments
posted here reflect the same harsh judgment that I noticed in the Dutch paper.
I shy away from reading comments because of that, but when I read this article,
I was curious if someone else noticed. I wonder if the anonymity encourages
people to be so dark. When I visit Utah or the Netherlands, however, I see a
different kind of people. Of course there are cell phones, political discussions
etc., but there is still some civility, although it is getting less.
Consequences | 8:35 a.m. May 11, 2008
People do not care because there are no consequences for their actions. It is a
law that you need to signal before changing lanes. Does any one do it? Seldom.
Why? Because the police don't have the time or man power to enforce it.
Everyone lives in their own little bubble and don't care about anyone but
themselves. Treat others with courtesy and you will find you are treated the
same.
Ultra Bob | 8:35 a.m. May 11, 2008
The character and personality of our society is being changed by two groups for
the main part. These groups are the Hate broadcasts and the telephone sales
people who won't accept a simple no for an answer.
Both of these groups bring up the level of frustration and anger for our fellow men.
Both of these groups bring up the level of frustration and anger for our fellow men.
Respect | 8:43 a.m. May 11, 2008
Really, it comes down to whether an individual has self-respect. The capacity
for getting along with our neighbor depends to a large extent on the capacity
for getting along with ourselves. The self-respecting individual will try to be
as tolerant of his neighbor's shortcomings as he is of his own.
In my day, we didn't have self-esteem, we had self-respect, and no more of it than we had earned. Self-respect is the fruit of discipline; the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself.
We happen to live in a society that values immediate gratification, in such a society it is difficult to cultivate or even pass on self-discipline or self-denial.
The article is merely reporting symptoms of our greatest ill, a total lack of respect, for self and for others.
In my day, we didn't have self-esteem, we had self-respect, and no more of it than we had earned. Self-respect is the fruit of discipline; the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself.
We happen to live in a society that values immediate gratification, in such a society it is difficult to cultivate or even pass on self-discipline or self-denial.
The article is merely reporting symptoms of our greatest ill, a total lack of respect, for self and for others.
Not JUST cell phones | 8:44 a.m. May 11, 2008
When I am dealing with a clerk, who stops to answer the phone, while I stand
there, usuallly that I have just left, and has no customer when they finally do
come back.
This atrocious action is an assignment by the business manager, who believes that in as much as they almost have my money, that it's okay to be rude in this manner is then acceptable.
Well, it isn't.
This atrocious action is an assignment by the business manager, who believes that in as much as they almost have my money, that it's okay to be rude in this manner is then acceptable.
Well, it isn't.
concerned | 8:57 a.m. May 11, 2008
The highways are a very dangerous place. As a retired police officer I now
recognize more than ever that each of us need to look out for and protect each
other on those highways. Courtesy and respect are so important.
Bill | 9:04 a.m. May 11, 2008
Slowing down is not the answer to all driving problems. Indeed, if more
dunderheads would travel at the speed limit or move over to the right-most lane,
70% the lane-changing by "agressive" drivers would no longer be
needed. It's amazing how often I see cars changing lanes to get around a
driver going 10 miles below the speed limit because he's unable to drive
properly while chatting on the cell phone.
The NIT | 9:17 a.m. May 11, 2008
I believe the article touched on one of the key reasons for this problem and
that is selfishness. One other reason, I believe, is a lack of true self
esteem. I see many people talking [often loudly] on cell phones in airports,
vehicles, stores, etc. and I believe they are needing to validate their
importance. I'm not really impressed. We all have cell phones; we all
have cars; we all have important meetings, deadlines and customers. I'm
not impressed with your phone or your conversation. Unless you're talking
to the President or it's a true medical emergency - it can wait and you can
take it outside. The next steps will need to be cell phone usage legislation
and/or self regulation. The civil thing to do would be to self regulate with
some common concern for others.
JMV | 9:20 a.m. May 11, 2008
I agree. I've lived in Vegas for a while now after moving here from Utah. I
find drivers, and people in general, to be more civil than the ones I
encountered in Utah.
Maybe I'm wrong, but I attribute this, in general again, to the lives people have had. In Utah, you mostly have people who were raised without any struggle and have an entitlement attitude. In Vegas, you have people who have had tough lives and have learned to appreciate what they do have.
Maybe I'm wrong, but I attribute this, in general again, to the lives people have had. In Utah, you mostly have people who were raised without any struggle and have an entitlement attitude. In Vegas, you have people who have had tough lives and have learned to appreciate what they do have.
RE: Not JUST cell phones | 9:39 a.m. May 11, 2008
You may complain about clerks in stores who are on the phone, but I AM one of
those business managers and we are only on the phone to call another store for
business purposes( i.e. checking on an item for another client).
What really irks me(and all other retailers, store clerks, and anyone else you seem to think below you, is that you'll bring your items to the cashwrap, toss them on the counter with your credit card, then turn around and keep chatting. For some reason, you lack the manners to even say hello after I've spent the last hour assisting you. And no, I actually don't get paid to suck up to you, despite what you may think. I get paid to run a business and find it very upsetting when you can't find the time to even thank me.
People who talk on their phones while ignoring retailers, store clerks, McDonald's workers, etc... are not superior, they're RUDE.
What really irks me(and all other retailers, store clerks, and anyone else you seem to think below you, is that you'll bring your items to the cashwrap, toss them on the counter with your credit card, then turn around and keep chatting. For some reason, you lack the manners to even say hello after I've spent the last hour assisting you. And no, I actually don't get paid to suck up to you, despite what you may think. I get paid to run a business and find it very upsetting when you can't find the time to even thank me.
People who talk on their phones while ignoring retailers, store clerks, McDonald's workers, etc... are not superior, they're RUDE.
Cell phone jammers | 9:44 a.m. May 11, 2008
The old aphorism is that if you give someone an inch they will take a mile:
we've seen this in people's inability to regulate their cell-phone
usage. It would, therefore, be in the best interest of theaters, restaurants,
and other such public venues to put up cell phone jammers. No signal: no
annoying dillweeds yacking about last night's game (or worse) while your
trying to enjoy a meal, or even worse, a movie.
People cannot and will not regulate themselves: this is why we have law.
People cannot and will not regulate themselves: this is why we have law.
Re- Not JUST cell phones | 9:49 a.m. May 11, 2008
While you may think retailers have nothing better to do then chat on the phone,
let me set the record straight. I AM one of those business managers and we only
ever use the phone for business purposes(i.e. check on an item for another
client. . . this may be a shock to you but you aren't the only one
we're helping).
What I find to be offensive, and I believe anyone else in my industry would agree, is when you can't find the time to get off your cell phone while I'm completing your purchase and at least say thank you after I've spent the last hour assisting you. Despite what you may think, I don't get paid to suck up to you or swallow your nasty attitude. When you treat retailers, store clerks, McDonald's workers like trash, it doesn't make you superior. It makes you RUDE.
What I find to be offensive, and I believe anyone else in my industry would agree, is when you can't find the time to get off your cell phone while I'm completing your purchase and at least say thank you after I've spent the last hour assisting you. Despite what you may think, I don't get paid to suck up to you or swallow your nasty attitude. When you treat retailers, store clerks, McDonald's workers like trash, it doesn't make you superior. It makes you RUDE.
Disappointed SLC Visitor | 10:25 a.m. May 11, 2008
Car drivers in SLC are simply awful. I was a first time visitor to SLC, eager to
take in your tourist sites and get a better sense of your wonderful Christian
community of Mormons. Wow, I was in for a shock. I'm a fairly spirited
big-city driver, but I couldn't believe the rudeness of Utah drivers with
their overt tailgating. Even if I sped up and risked a speeding ticket,
they'd still be on my bumper. Even if I slowed down and pulled over to side
of road to let them pass, they simply slowed down behind me with puzzled looks
on their faces. It happened all over the SLC area - you just couldn't win.
Needless to say, I went back home with a rather jaded feeling about religious
kindness of Utah people.
Teller | 10:26 a.m. May 11, 2008
I work at a bank and I can tell you right now, it's NOT the younger
generation to blame. Anyone over 50 has about a 75% chance of being an absolute
jerk.
Example | 10:33 a.m. May 11, 2008
Adults should be the good example but aren't. I work at a High School where
they are letting a teacher be a counselor just because she wants to. She
hasn't even started any counseling education. She frequently races to our
department with "juicy gossip" after meetings or talking to students.
She tells everything that is supposed to be confidential such as which student
is pregnant being abused at home etc. She talks about what went on in
administration meetings regarding teachers.Students frequently hear all of this!
She even went out laughing once saying, "Maybe I shouldn't be in the
counseling office because I cant' keep my mouth shut!" With this kind
of rude example coming from "a counselor" we don't have a
chance!!!!
Young, old | 10:36 a.m. May 11, 2008
This article hits it, civility has waned at an all-time low, and we have the
entertainment, technology and business world to thank for it: prurient,
voyeuristic and uncivil content; instant access to all things crass, derogatory
and embarrassing; and, finally, greed.
Online news site comment boards included. Ah, anonymity.
A fix? Parents: Care more. Do more. Be more. Goes for neighbors, co-workers, etc.
Online news site comment boards included. Ah, anonymity.
A fix? Parents: Care more. Do more. Be more. Goes for neighbors, co-workers, etc.
disagree/utah drives | 10:54 a.m. May 11, 2008
I have lived and worked in Utah for the past sixty years. I had a daily route
between Ogden and Provo. Rude driving in Utah didn't begin until the state
became the retreat to the Vegas, California and other out of state drivers. When
I go south I do every thing possible to avoid driving in Las Vegas, Phoenix and
especdially Southen California.
Why in the world don't people just leave their cell phones home and do their calling there? I try to be polite by not even having a cell phone.
Why in the world don't people just leave their cell phones home and do their calling there? I try to be polite by not even having a cell phone.
Dan | 11:09 a.m. May 11, 2008
The problem is there's little accountability and no interdependence in
society. People can live their whole lives saying fewer than a dozen words to
their next door neighbor--and many people do just that. We don't rely on
each other for our day to day survival like we used to. A snide comment here or
there will hardly cost us our bread--if we anger our baker, we just find another
one. Our towns are so bloated with people that it's extremely easy to find
true anonymity, or something very close to it. I'll definitely admit it,
I'm less apt to be nice if I know I'll probably never see that person
again. Then, add cars to the equation--everyone can go where they want, when
they want, so we're essentially choosing our own communities. Internet and
telephone only add to the local disassociation from each other... So my point
is this, if we truly want a civil society, we'll have to go back to what
the Amish are doing. Rude or obnoxious behaviors are hardly survival traits in
such a tight-nit culture. Uncivil behavior is simply the consequence of our
modern, crowded world.
GK from England | 11:11 a.m. May 11, 2008
I served an LDS mission in Utah over 20 years ago. I loved Utah and the people I
met. Unfortunately, I have not been able to return to the Beehive State since I
left in '87. I have heard from various sources over the years that Utah
isn't as good as it used to be, e.g. violence, gangs etc. Then again, the
world isn't as good as it used to be! We have never had bad neighbours
wherever we have lived...and why? Because we have always strived to be good
neighbours ourselves. Treat others how you would like to be treated, especcially
when you are under stress and pressure and you'll be surprised how good it
makes you feels...even if the other person doesn't always show
appreciation. Remember, there IS someone who sees your efforts!!!
Re: Safe and Sane | 11:27 a.m. May 11, 2008
As a Utahn now living in Las Vegas I will have to repectfully disagree with you
about your comments. I pay more for auto insurance here than I did in Utah.
Insurance companies don't give Utahns better rates because they like them
better. They do it because they know how many accidents/how much they can
expect to lose in a given area and charge premiums to recoup those losses. If
you want to find out where the worst drivers are, look no further than the
insurance companies. And just so you know, Las Vegas is the 3rd most dangerous
place to drive. . .worse even than LA.
Steve Glaser | 11:51 a.m. May 11, 2008
I think it is terrible that we find it so hard to have polite political
discussions with people with whom we disagree. I recently wrote a letter to one
of my political representatives on an issue where I knew his opinion was
different than mine. While I had no illusions that my letter was going to make
him reverse course, I felt it was important that he hear an occassional
dissenting voice; to not allow my silence to result in him only hearing one
opinion.
I was very disappointed when I received a sarcastic reply. As I said at the start of this post, I think we should be able to have polite political conversations with people that we disagree with. Certainly, we ought to be able to have those conversations with our representatives. How sad when we can't.
I was very disappointed when I received a sarcastic reply. As I said at the start of this post, I think we should be able to have polite political conversations with people that we disagree with. Certainly, we ought to be able to have those conversations with our representatives. How sad when we can't.
SG | 12:17 p.m. May 11, 2008
I'll tell you what I got from this article. I need to make sure I am more
civil. Do I talk on my cell phone at bad times? Do I block the whole aisle in
the grocery store when I look at items? Do I park across two stalls in the
parking lot? Do I pay attention to who is around me and how I may be making
things hard on them? Do I have a smile for those whose paths I cross?
Do I criticize everyone around me because they got in my way?
Do I spend so much time focussing on the mote in someone else's eye that I am blind to the beam in my own?
Am I civil enough to know I can't change someone else, I can only change myself?
Do I criticize everyone around me because they got in my way?
Do I spend so much time focussing on the mote in someone else's eye that I am blind to the beam in my own?
Am I civil enough to know I can't change someone else, I can only change myself?
The bigger jerk is impatience | 12:45 p.m. May 11, 2008
I understand that some choose rudeness. But none of us will stop others from
getting this way. People who think there is some magical solution are wrong. You
can not control others free will. If people are angry, they will be angry.
All we can do is be patient. Be kind to those who are rude. The term "love your enemies" is such a true statement ESPECIALLY today.
Rather than bicker or get mad at the person. You CAN decide to choose kindness; no one ever MAKES you angry. You only allow yourself to be annoyed.
I may not like what people do on the road as well as anyone; some respond with violence, some with rudeness, and some with kindness and patience. I would rather choose the route of patience and not judging another as I'll never know what brought them to being rude.
What's really a sign of the times is that people are less humble & forgiving.
People can't say sorry, can't forgive others who ARE sorry anymore. More teens get life in prison. More executions. Less forgiveness.
I'm not saying execution is unjust. I'm stating that mercy & forgiveness are drifting out of our lives.
All we can do is be patient. Be kind to those who are rude. The term "love your enemies" is such a true statement ESPECIALLY today.
Rather than bicker or get mad at the person. You CAN decide to choose kindness; no one ever MAKES you angry. You only allow yourself to be annoyed.
I may not like what people do on the road as well as anyone; some respond with violence, some with rudeness, and some with kindness and patience. I would rather choose the route of patience and not judging another as I'll never know what brought them to being rude.
What's really a sign of the times is that people are less humble & forgiving.
People can't say sorry, can't forgive others who ARE sorry anymore. More teens get life in prison. More executions. Less forgiveness.
I'm not saying execution is unjust. I'm stating that mercy & forgiveness are drifting out of our lives.
Anonymous | 12:46 p.m. May 11, 2008
*** "These comment boards are a good example of "loss of
civility." The anonymity of the internet releases amazingly harsh and
personal attacks. I would love to use these boards as a discussion group, a
place to ask questions and learn from each other." ***
The anonymity allows for incivility, but it also allows for people to ask the sort of questions that political correctness frequently muzzles.
For me the decline in civility is hastened by a nation where incivility, dishonesty, and outright criminality are frequently rewarded. For me that realization came when I realized how political cronies and contributors are rewarded by politicians turning a blind eye to the hiring of illegal immigrants. Does it anger me that I get ticketed for going ten over (and harming no one) but a millionaire employer gets away? Indeed it does.
When I was a child my mother taught me always to wait until people got off the elevator before getting on. She taught me to return the shopping cart to the store or the cart return, rather than just leaving it in the middle of the parking lot. How many people do those things today?
The anonymity allows for incivility, but it also allows for people to ask the sort of questions that political correctness frequently muzzles.
For me the decline in civility is hastened by a nation where incivility, dishonesty, and outright criminality are frequently rewarded. For me that realization came when I realized how political cronies and contributors are rewarded by politicians turning a blind eye to the hiring of illegal immigrants. Does it anger me that I get ticketed for going ten over (and harming no one) but a millionaire employer gets away? Indeed it does.
When I was a child my mother taught me always to wait until people got off the elevator before getting on. She taught me to return the shopping cart to the store or the cart return, rather than just leaving it in the middle of the parking lot. How many people do those things today?
CougarKeith | 12:46 p.m. May 11, 2008
This is how you tell the "Decent" people from the one's you
don't want to socialize with, or be around, is their behavior and attitude
in your presence, at "Parties" & gatherings, at other places too.
Some people were raised with civility, and others are rude and animalistic. It
is very sad I have to agree, and I for one feel bad for not only those who have
to put up with it, but the indignation and ignorance these people show. I feel
sorry for them very much for missing out on the joys of life thinking "They
are all it", when the fact is they are proving JUST THE OPPOSITE! Just go
on lending smiles to those around you, and do your part to make this a better
world. The evil is getting more evil, and the good is getting better! Be
possitive!
Scott | 1:00 p.m. May 11, 2008
I have lived in Los Angeles, Las Vegas, Phoenix, Portland, and now Salt Lake
(area) for a minimum of 3 years or more each. I must report that my experience
has been that people in Utah are by far the most inconsiderate and lacking in
civility of any of these places I have lived. That is just my experience.
Perhaps others have had different experiences.
I've lived in a lot of places... | 1:33 p.m. May 11, 2008
Sorry. I just can't keep silent about this bunch of hoorah. I just made a
mental list of the places I've lived, and I guess I'm just not young
anymore.
After driving in all 50 states (an average of 48,000 miles per year for 25 years), and living in Illinois, Colorado, Utah, Cali, New Mexico, Arizona, Oregon, and Florida, I can state unequivically that Utah DOES NOT HAVE the worst, nor the rudest, drivers.
I'm afraid that distinction belongs to New Mexico. I would dare say that Utah is not even in the top 10 worst driving states I visit on a regular basis.
For anyone to claim Utah's driver's to be the worst, I would have to say to look closely at your limited, biased experience. It is simply not substantiated by facts.
After driving in all 50 states (an average of 48,000 miles per year for 25 years), and living in Illinois, Colorado, Utah, Cali, New Mexico, Arizona, Oregon, and Florida, I can state unequivically that Utah DOES NOT HAVE the worst, nor the rudest, drivers.
I'm afraid that distinction belongs to New Mexico. I would dare say that Utah is not even in the top 10 worst driving states I visit on a regular basis.
For anyone to claim Utah's driver's to be the worst, I would have to say to look closely at your limited, biased experience. It is simply not substantiated by facts.
Nonymous | 3:05 p.m. May 11, 2008
After reading the comments, I conclude the following:
Utah drivers are rude. Schools don't teach kids manners. There are no consequences for bad manners. All put self interest ahead of community interest. Tired parents need to teach their kids and monitor the influence of TV. Cell phones are a tool that we use to improve business or personal life, but many fail to get off when their attention is needed elsewhere.
And all of us are part of the problem.
Thanks, everyone, for the comments. We're all guilty as sin just like the driver or neighbor next to us, or the person in line.
Utah drivers are rude. Schools don't teach kids manners. There are no consequences for bad manners. All put self interest ahead of community interest. Tired parents need to teach their kids and monitor the influence of TV. Cell phones are a tool that we use to improve business or personal life, but many fail to get off when their attention is needed elsewhere.
And all of us are part of the problem.
Thanks, everyone, for the comments. We're all guilty as sin just like the driver or neighbor next to us, or the person in line.
blame the baby boomers | 3:11 p.m. May 11, 2008
The baby boomer generation is probably the most self absorbed of our
Nation's history. My Grandfather would have laughed at the idea of a
"self help" book (fought in WW2). I would like to say that my
generation (x?) is better but we're probably not. It starts with discipline
and understanding that there are consequences to our actions( like going to the
bad place when you die) I hope I can raise my children to be respectful of
others but when it's very rarely reciprocated it can be difficult.
re:Bill and others | 3:21 p.m. May 11, 2008
If everyone would drive the proper, posted speed limit, then there would be less
accidents, and the roads would be a safer place for all. There are no fast lanes
or slow lanes on the road. The posted speed limit is the given speed for
driving, not 5 to 20 mph more if it is safe. Remeber, the faster you go the more
more gas you use and the moe your engines are abused. Slow down and stay alive
and make less trips to the gas station. Comon courtesy, and common sense is the
safest bet.
alexandria | 3:30 p.m. May 11, 2008
The article's writer stated that civility begins with parents teaching
young children at home. In Utah, where there are many large families who are
trying to keep up with activities for all these kids, I know the parents are not
teaching civility and kindness. Kids are left to raise themselves, and it shows
in how rude, disrespectful, and unkind so many of these kids are. Parents need
to realize that parenting doesn't stop with having the kid - that's
where it begins and it doesn't end until the child is grown.
CougarKeith | 5:13 p.m. May 11, 2008
Civility begins with growing up in a good home with caring and loving parents
who teach manners, patients and love. Children brought up with RESPECT for
others and caring for others and the communitee in which they live make a HUGE
DIFFERENCE!
Acts of incivility, rudeness and ludity along with "Road Rage", and other things are cause from the "Dumbing & Numbing Down Of Society".
The break-up of families and Single parenthood are also root causes of this "Civil Unrest". Just immagine if all children had TWO PARENTS in the home, and they CARED about grades and behavior and who and what their children did. How different the next generation would be.
Life is precious, and ALL PEOPLE need to realize that fact. Get back to the Roots of AMERICAN FAMILY as a MOTHER & A FATHER and A PARENT at home, it doesn't matter WHICH ONE! Love of family and respect for others, is what it is all about, LIVE THE GOLDEN RULE... Treat others as you would have done to you, and the world's problems will quickly go AWAY!
Acts of incivility, rudeness and ludity along with "Road Rage", and other things are cause from the "Dumbing & Numbing Down Of Society".
The break-up of families and Single parenthood are also root causes of this "Civil Unrest". Just immagine if all children had TWO PARENTS in the home, and they CARED about grades and behavior and who and what their children did. How different the next generation would be.
Life is precious, and ALL PEOPLE need to realize that fact. Get back to the Roots of AMERICAN FAMILY as a MOTHER & A FATHER and A PARENT at home, it doesn't matter WHICH ONE! Love of family and respect for others, is what it is all about, LIVE THE GOLDEN RULE... Treat others as you would have done to you, and the world's problems will quickly go AWAY!
child of the 40's | 6:19 p.m. May 11, 2008
When I worked, it was for the prominent phone co, where I was expected to take X
number of calls in X amount of time. Many times operators were seen and/or heard
disconnecting a customer, simply to meet the company's demands for speed.
On the other hand, when we began to receive calls from Seattle, we all agreed
that they were the most vile and obscene callers we had. Their language was the
worst many of us sheltered Utahns had ever heard. The conversations heard in the
background,and particularly the WAY THEY TALKED TO EACH OTHER would make your
hair stand on end. I believe that the media, mainly TV is the real culprit,
with cinema right behind. Hollywood claims they are only reflecting society. I
think they are leading society down a very slippery slope, and we can only blame
ourselves for allowing this to happen. I don't watch R rated movies, but
now PG13 is what R used to be. When will it stop? When we as a society become
so debased and evil, God in His heaven says "enough".
Anonymous | 7:33 p.m. May 11, 2008
I'll tell you what civility at its lowest is today.
I posted a comment earlier today and it didn't get posted by the Deseret News censorers. I didn't say anything that was offensive or off color, and in fact have found over half the postings on this subject to be much more pointed, abrasive and harder in their take than my comment was.
Civility also includes fairness. Set a bunch or rules, everyone should be able to play from a level terrain... need I say anymore... that is if this gets past the censors and get's posted.
I posted a comment earlier today and it didn't get posted by the Deseret News censorers. I didn't say anything that was offensive or off color, and in fact have found over half the postings on this subject to be much more pointed, abrasive and harder in their take than my comment was.
Civility also includes fairness. Set a bunch or rules, everyone should be able to play from a level terrain... need I say anymore... that is if this gets past the censors and get's posted.
Levon | 7:44 p.m. May 11, 2008
It is all the non-members moving into the state that are corrupting and diluting
our values. Things were a lot better until the diversity stated taking place.
Liberalism and the church just do not work.
GO LAKERS! | 7:45 p.m. May 11, 2008
The behaviour of a large majority of Jazz fans toward Derek Fisher is evidence
of this sad phenomenon.
Anonymous | 8:18 p.m. May 11, 2008
Levon,
Civility is all about respecting the value of others' opinions and perspectives, granting that their rights and values are of equal value with our own. Your post does not seem to reflect civility in that sense. Your post seems to suggest that you think LDS are the civil ones and non-LDS are the uncivil ones. The bigotry, self-promotion, and arrogance of your comment suggests that non-members are NOT the source of incivility in Utah. Have you ever considered that attitudes like your are the source of it?
Civility is all about respecting the value of others' opinions and perspectives, granting that their rights and values are of equal value with our own. Your post does not seem to reflect civility in that sense. Your post seems to suggest that you think LDS are the civil ones and non-LDS are the uncivil ones. The bigotry, self-promotion, and arrogance of your comment suggests that non-members are NOT the source of incivility in Utah. Have you ever considered that attitudes like your are the source of it?
Why Levon? | 8:42 p.m. May 11, 2008
Oh boy, Levon. Why would you say that? Can we all just ignore that comment? As
a member of the church, I know as well as anyone that members are just as much
to blame for many of these rude acts, and let's just leave it at that.
Not John | 9:22 p.m. May 11, 2008
To CougarKeith: Your point is incorrect. I opnely admit to having moments of
road rage. And I grew up with two loving parents. Having everyone grow up in a
family with a father and a mother doesn't make all the problems to away.
Sorry. We all grow up and make choices to do things, inspite of our upbringing.
If nurture determines our course in life, well, where is the agency in that?
While I understand you are wanting a discussion on family values, your main point is so simplistic it misses the entire point. Growing up in the environment you suggest, even though it is a good one, does not promise the salvation you espouse. It is more complicated than that, and you know it.
Bottom line: this post has nothing to do with your comment. We are talking about civility, not gay rights.
While I understand you are wanting a discussion on family values, your main point is so simplistic it misses the entire point. Growing up in the environment you suggest, even though it is a good one, does not promise the salvation you espouse. It is more complicated than that, and you know it.
Bottom line: this post has nothing to do with your comment. We are talking about civility, not gay rights.
To Levon | 9:24 p.m. May 11, 2008
Either you are being sarcastic (which really proves that this article may be
very important for you to re-read), or you believe what you have written to be
true.
Though both are sad scenarios indeed, I hope for your sake the former is correct. You say "Liberalism and the church just don't work." That's not the church's fault, because the doctrine fits with a culture of diversity. It fails because the members let it fail. Shame on you.
Though both are sad scenarios indeed, I hope for your sake the former is correct. You say "Liberalism and the church just don't work." That's not the church's fault, because the doctrine fits with a culture of diversity. It fails because the members let it fail. Shame on you.
Oh Levon | 9:25 p.m. May 11, 2008
It's gonna be quite a rude awakening, come judgment day, when you realize
you were on the right team, but playing the wrong game. You just don't get
it.
Anon. | 10:20 p.m. May 11, 2008
There are many of us who teach school who DO attempt to teach manners and
civility to students. It is often a losing battle when adults act worse than the
kids. Has anyone attended a school event where the parents were rude and
obnoxious? I have. The teaching of civility and manners should mainly be done in
the home with the schools reinforcing good behaviors.But many students lack role
models for civility. They certainly aren't getting good examples from many
of their parents or from the media. I think the disrespect really accelerated
with the Simpsons craze. Shows that glorify disrespect and rudeness have done a
lot of damage.
I also believe that sloppy attire has a lot to do with sloppy behavior. And now with summer coming, we have to endure looking at a lot of skin that should never be showing. Ugh.
I also believe that sloppy attire has a lot to do with sloppy behavior. And now with summer coming, we have to endure looking at a lot of skin that should never be showing. Ugh.
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