Deseret News | Friends, family call boy's death in hot car a 'terrible accident'

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Friends, family call boy's death in hot car a 'terrible accident'

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CougarKeith (With Faith) | 10:12 p.m. April 30, 2008

There are two sides to every story, the fact that this innocent child is gone is sad, but the bright side is that he was such a wonderful spirit for our Father in Heaven, he needed only to take a body for a short time on earth, not even to carry it to the time of temptation. His reward is sure, and in that we as a "LDS" communitee need to rejoice. We can and should remember Spencer W. Kimball's talk, Destiny or Tragedy, on why these sorts of things happen. They happen because they do, because of agency given to man, and the lack of it may or may not have given that boy a few more hours, days, months, or years, but another choice of someone else could have mowed him down in a car in a couple years, or he could have fallen from a tree, or a skateboard taking his life. These things are in the Lord's hands, with some variation by the agency of man. This woman needs to take comfort in her faith, in the truthfulness of the things she knows, and I know to be true. For the rest of you, seek faith.

Kathy Beebee | 10:20 p.m. April 30, 2008

I did the same thing myself once 31 years ago, pre carseats in the downtown area of a very large city back east. I drove downtown to pay a bill that was likely past due, found a parking space and headed for my destination with a LOT on my mind. My week-old son was on the floor of the back seat in his little plastic carrier that we used to all have (on the floor so there was no place to fall) and I walked 2 blocks before I remembered I wasn't pregnant any more. I RAN!!!!!the 2 blocks I'd just walked and he was fine, still sound asleep. Today he has 4 kids, and a great career...but I've never forgotten my shame and danger I placed him in.

My most sincere condolences to this family. It could happen to ANYONE.

mypc46 | 10:41 p.m. April 30, 2008

In 1967 I did the opposite. When we were leaving with our kids the baby was in her seat in the crib. A 4 year old and the 6 week old baby. Each of us thought the other had put the baby in the back seat.no safety seat but the plastic one we all used. A few minutes and I looked to see how the kids were....and no baby! Hubby did a U-turn and rushed the 6 blocks to home. She was still sleeping in her carrier in the crib. So anyone can make a bad mistake. As I say today...I raised 8 children and they all lived. ages now are 21 to 43

Comments continue below

Tragedy | 10:55 p.m. April 30, 2008

This is such a tragedy. The pettiness of some people at whether this women is "active" or "not". That should be neither here nor there. This mother is suffering and none of us can throw any stones. So maybe you have never forgotten your child. I have never left mine in the car alone either but I have been busy in the house and they have gotten out before. I'm just thankful they were never hit by a car. Does that make me a neglectful mom? None of us are perfect. We all love our children. Yes, I don't understand how she could forget a child in a car for three hours, but I also don't know what her busy life is like. Don't condem and say "if she can't keep track of all her children she shouldn't have more than one". I just wish the best for her and her family. Nothing more can make her suffer than what she is going through now and what she will go through for the rest of her life. Just let this be a lesson for us to learn from.

To The Family | 11:02 p.m. April 30, 2008

I do not know why this type of article is even run. My heart goes out to you and my prayers during this time of deep grief and sorrow. Always know, that all of us with children have made many mistakes and will make many more. May the world now give you peace and may the prayers of all parents touched by this bring you comfort.May the publishing of this event never be with a motive except to teach and help prevent and to offer dearest empathy to a mother.

To the Finger Pointers... | 11:07 p.m. April 30, 2008

Geeez??? All these finger pointing people crying shame shame on this mother. Oh please! Shame on you finger pointers! Accidents happen every day, sometime even deaths. We all make mistakes. No one puts someone to death on purpose like this. The best thing to do is understand it was an accident and give support to the person devastated by it so they can complete their grief and move on. Compassion for others is what is needed more in this world, not blamers and viciousness.

To those that keep finger pointing at people in these type of situations cause they're so self-righteous, I can see you shaking in your booties after your deaths meeting St. Peter when he asks you why you were so mean to that mother or to anyone needing an understanding heart when you could have shown love instead? Get a life and stop pointing fingers. See the one finger pointing out, but there are three pointing at YOU!

compassion | 11:13 p.m. April 30, 2008

This is horrible. I have many beautiful boys from 10 on down. I am writing this letter in hopes this mother reads it. I came very close to doing the same thing to my now 10 year old. My wife was working and I had to give a bid on an irrigation system so I took my new baby to do the bid. I remember saying this will only take a few minutes and I got talking to the potential customer and forgot I had the baby. When I got back to the truck my infant was completely drenched with sweat and the temerature was exptrememly high in the car. I was terrified. This was my first born son and he meant and still means the world to me. I't was a bad screw up that I'm so glad I didn't have to pay as the same price as this lady but it could have been me just as easy. My wife also had an issue similar and nothing came of it either, but something could have. I hope no one judges this and tries to help her out..

a million bucks | 11:33 p.m. April 30, 2008

Would anyone "forget" where they left a million dollars in cash or would they make very sure it was safely accounted for and in a safe place? Our children are far more precious than that and deserve at least the same supervision. Would you leave a million dollars in cash laying on the car seat, in full view to anyone passing by? Would you leave a million dollars unattended on a dock at Lake Powell and hope it wouldn't be stolen or blown away? Many parents are far too careless with their children. I am sorry for their loss and am glad their faith can give them comfort at this terrible time.

Accident? | 11:35 p.m. April 30, 2008

How is this an accident? Kids in first...the groceries will wait. Even if the child is in the car, how many trips back to the car do you make for groceries and...you STILL don't notice the baby is in the car seat? Sounds like she left him in there to finish his nap. Inexcusable.

no name | 12:38 a.m. May 1, 2008

Any person who says they never missed or lost or forgot about a child is a liar, period. What happens when you let your prescious one go to a friends house and they are not there when you call them home for dinner, they are missing. What happens when at a play ground you are talking to the person next to you and you look up to find your child three playgrounds over? Same thing. Again, any person who says they could never do this must have a permanant leash atached from them to their child. Don't rush to judge people for what you think is stupid until you are perfect. Everybody makes mistakes with thier children. That doesn't mean that they are criminals. If your child broke their leg falling out of a tree, should you be held for child abuse? No. If you think that raising children is easy, think again. Even families with just one child have problems and mistakes made. Some of these mistakes are even fatal. Does that make a criminal of the parent, no. If we were punished for making mistakes, no-one would be walking the streets. Prisons would be full.

to: a million bucks | 12:38 a.m. May 1, 2008

yes I have accidentally thrown away a couple of hundred dollars before and yes I have accidentally left money in the car without locking it.

Paula/Mother/Parent | 5:17 a.m. May 1, 2008

I have also lost a son-I have also made mistakes and I do know the mum needs moral support and counseling.
I also know this was a crime punishable by law OR we could all claim our kids accidentally died in our care
and not be held accountable legally. God will sustain her the strength she needs to face human judgment by law if she asks for it.

Ed | 6:31 a.m. May 1, 2008

Murder has premeditated malice. Negligence requires a pattern of being habitually neglectful. A mistake is making a wrong action or decision. To forget, is to fail to become mindful or aware at the right time. I am sure this mother did not go and check on her baby in the car after three hours, but went to his crib to see how he was doing on his afternoon nap, as she had hundreds of times before. The panic then the pain must have been beyond measure, as she realized her lapse of routine, of taking the baby out and laying him lovingly in his crib.

Zero tolerance eliminates the reasonable man, which our laws are to be based on. What would the reasonable man do?

Is it criminal to give a child a piece of candy, knowing it may lead to diabetes, carmalizing their eyes and kidneys?

I have the deepest sympathy for this family. This was not something planned or expected and was an accident. If we are going to point fingers and blame we need to point at the fact we are all human.

Well done | 6:46 a.m. May 1, 2008

To those of you who have waived your self-righteous "I never make mistakes" finger at this broken-hearted mother, demanding that she be locked up in prison, I say, well done. Keep up the good work in exposing who the real hate mongers are in today's society.

Thank you for showing what cruelty and bitterness are really all about. And thank you for demonstrating again, that while some people see compassion as reaching out to others in need with love and understanding, others demonstrate compassion by thumping their chests and proclaiming how stupid everyone else is.

By the way, in case you haven't figured out yet who I'm talking about, just look in the mirror sometime.

curious | 2:10 p.m. May 1, 2008

I wonder if there is a break down state by state to see where this happens most often, based on population. I wonder if there has ever been another case where five children who were not being supervised adequately died in a hot car at the same time as happened in Utah a few years ago. Anyone who thinks a 6 year is responsible enough to supervise a 2 year old outside is a complete idiot and shouldn't be allowed to have kids.

to: a million bucks | 2:42 p.m. May 1, 2008

to a million bucks, you said it right.

Here are thine accusers | 4:02 p.m. May 1, 2008

News of this tragedy was awful to hear. Reading most of these comments only made the shock worse.

What have I learned? We can all take better care of the responsibilities we are blessed with. We could all be a little more understanding, a lot more compassionate, and a little less quick to judge.

What shocks me the most? How many of you are willing to be judge, jury, and executioner, imperfect as you are. Even the Savior, though perfect, would not cast the first stone at a known sinner, but you will stone this woman over an unintentional neglect. Yeah, she made a mistake, but how does your mistake of adding on make things any better? It doesn't! Unimpressed...

Question? | 7:35 p.m. May 1, 2008

Very Sad.

Some of you are saying she left the baby in the car for three hours. The police say she called at 4pm and told them she had just got home and forgot about the baby.

Why the time-frame discrepancy?

Anonymous | 1:21 a.m. May 2, 2008

I used to sit on my high horse and say "How could a parent actually forget their child?". I just didn't think it was possible to actually forget your own precious child. Then it happened to me. I forgot my child in his car seat. I was very lucky and remembered him in time. I came so close to having this same tragedy myself. I now feel only sympathy and compassion when this happens. I feel only saddness for the suffering this family is going through. The Mom will not only have to live with the guilt, she will miss her little boy. She will be punished for the rest of her life. I hope they will let his death be punishment enough and they will not punish the other children by taking their Mother away. I will pray for this family. I pray for kindness and compassion for them.

Gradman32pc | 8:42 a.m. May 2, 2008

Does anyone remember the case a few years back in Summit County where the small boy only wandered away from a vehicle while his dad scouted for deer? Another forgetful and unintentional lapse in judgement resulted in that boy's death, which led to a conviction and minor jail sentence followed by a suicide. Who do you think was harder on the father--himself or society? The sentence was a joke--what good did it do anyone? People who have these lapses are not behaving with criminal intent, and they will be more than sufficiently "punished" by their own torment.

jfrazier | 9:12 a.m. May 2, 2008

Gradman32pc,

A "momentary" lapse is one thing, a three-hour lapse is another.

Nonetheless, I agree in principle with what you are saying. Yes, I remember the Summit County incident very well. I did think society was very hard on the guy. I felt pressing charges was not appropriate, as I do in this case. I guess one side of me says they are punished enough, but the other side says that these people and others looking on need to know of the trust placed on them to safeguard these children. I think using the criteria of a "pattern of neglect" is appropriate to determine whether criminal punishment should be applied.

Anonymous | 9:46 a.m. May 2, 2008

The time frame is in the article in the Salt Lake Tribune. It was HOURS LATER!!! HOURS HOURS HOURS people! Would you be so quick to excuse this as an accident if your child was dead and your spouse said, "Whoops I forgot for just a few hours that we had a child." If the state doesn't do something I sure we can get a group together! Why Why Why don't children have any rights?

Heart Broken | 1:08 p.m. May 2, 2008

I am truly sorry for this family & the pain and devistation that they have to go through. I know in my heart that it was a mistake and that that mother loved her baby with all her heart. I am going to keep them in my prayers & hope that one day the mother will learn to forgive herself. It was a mistake that anyone could've made.

cj | 9:26 a.m. May 3, 2008

Anonymous...Perhaps that's why you don;t have children!

Phillip | 1:38 p.m. May 3, 2008

This was a classic case of a selfish, tired mother who was horribly negligent. She does NOT deserve our compassion, she deserves to feel badly for doing a horrible thing. That baby will never get another chance at mercy or compassion! Why should she?!

More importantly, we MUST makes sure this never happens again to another child.

Instead of prison time, I think this mother should be required by a judge to perform "community service," and the kind of community service she should perform is to go around speaking to groups about how important it is to NOT do what she did! She should be required to make a public service announcement that can be broadcast on TV, Cable, and Radio reminding people to NEVER leave their children unattended - in hot cars, near swimming pools, or any of the numerous dangerous places that can so easily take the tender lives of our children!

Unless she does something to redeem this tragedy, then her child died in vain.

Sad | 4:23 p.m. May 3, 2008

I feel sad for the family. I do feel that instead of just saying the mother just forgot, she should be truthful in saying that she took advantage of the fact that the baby was asleep. Most people with children know that many times when a child has fallen asleep in the car - transferring them to bed usually ends with the child waking up. She probably has done this before and this time it ended tragically. I feel sad for her and her guilt, but she needs to be honest with why she "forgot" the baby for three hours.

Agree | 5:21 p.m. May 3, 2008

I agree with ï¿½Sadï¿½. 3 hours in the car? She should admit she let the baby take a nap in the car. I personally have never done it to take advantage of a sleeping child, but I have a friend who does it in mild weather all the time. Her situation is different, though. Her driveway wraps around to the back of her house under a very huge shade tree. She drives behind the house, parks under the tree, unrolls every car window, and leaves the sliding glass door open so she is watching her toddler (abt 25 ft away) from the family room while he finishes his nap and she folds clothes. I donï¿½t have the same secure driveway setup nor any shade so I would NEVER think about doing the same thing. Iï¿½m sure there are plenty of parents who don't care and would let a baby nap in an overheated car just because they donï¿½t want to wake the baby. It's so sad and just isnï¿½t worth it...such tragic consequences.

tinamommyx15 | 1:26 p.m. May 5, 2008

I feel so sorry for this Mother and her family. I am a Mother. We are not perfect. She will always have this tragedy with her. Who are we to judge her? I looked at the ages of her other children. It takes a lot to be a Mom and we all forget sometimes. I feel it would be a mistake to take her away from her family over this accident. She has so much to give her family. I bet from now on she will never leave anyone in a car again. This has also served as a reminder to all parents to take your children with you. With much heart felt sorrow for you, May God bless you and your family.

Sadness | 9:29 p.m. May 7, 2008

That is the sadess thing I have ever heard besides when my grandma died I fell so sorry for that child and that mother I mean three hours in a car I'm going with both of the comments above me they're so right!

Oliver Shank | 7:52 a.m. May 11, 2008

Leaving aside the remarks of the perfect, one has to note that at 35 deaths of this sort per year, the doctor is unlikely to see them every year. He is probably adding a wide variety of heat related trauma to try to make some case. Thirty-five deaths per year is actually quite rare. The doctor must know this as a specialist in water related injuries, which are comparatively common.

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