Deseret News | Friends, family call boy's death in hot car a 'terrible accident'

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Friends, family call boy's death in hot car a 'terrible accident'

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To: Never forgot | 12:56 p.m. April 30, 2008

Its wonderful to know you are a perfect soul, and could never hurt anyone even accidentally. May I kneel and wash your feet!!!!!!!! Glad to know you are on top of it all, you should be named Mother of the Year!!

You have no clue what kind of issues that this mother may have to substantiate short term memory loss.

This mother needs support not the worldliness of beating people down emotionally.

Memo to Busy Moms | 1:03 p.m. April 30, 2008

Please, focus on your precious children. I've seen some of you at the stores too busy talking on your cell phones to pay attention to what your children are doing. I've seen you understandably exhausted and unaware of them running around a store, talking to strangers, etc.. I've heard you complain in frustration "this one is going to be the death of me". You brought them into the world, they're your burden to bear. And, as we are reminded in so many ways, they can be gone in an instant. No one questions your love, but please double check your priorities.

momof5 | 1:13 p.m. April 30, 2008

I can't believe how judgmental so many of you can be. Shame on those of you who want this woman punished. Any parent who has ever made a mistake can understand how this can happen. I hope this mom can forgive herself because God will forgive her!!

Comments continue below

laws for these children | 1:16 p.m. April 30, 2008

It is a felony to torture animals, (which is a great law!!!!!!) can you imagine what this poor little child went through in that car for hours???????????? where is the law for these children?????????????????? Cougarkeith I agree with you!!!!!!!!!!! She did not want to wake the child, she probably did this many many times before, with all of her other children!!!!!!thinking she would go out later and just get the child!!!!!!!! how stupid!!!!!!!!!!! I always tell my older children one stupid mistake could last a lifetime!!!!!!!! Why is this lady not in custody????????? and why does she still have her other children?????? I do have to say, I'am sorry to the other family members for their terriable loss!!!!!!!!!

Juan Figuroa | 1:33 p.m. April 30, 2008

It's the car-seat thing. You strap your kid in, it's a warm day, the kid goes to sleep. You drive home, start thinking about other things...You get home, bring in the groceries or the mail, get distracted by the neighbor or the toys on the front lawn, the kid never cries or makes a noise, and you just simply forget that you didn't bring in the sleeping baby -- until suddenly the house seems strangely quiet.

Happened to me. Damned lucky. My wife always puts her purse in the backseat with the baby now so she doesn't leave the car without the kid. (Can't count how many times she's left the purse behind, though.)

Sleeping babies in cars are lethal. Leaving behind a kid who's wide awake? That's criminal. A silent, sleeping baby? Completely understandable.

Doug Minnick, Sandy, UT | 1:34 p.m. April 30, 2008

To Pertinent Comments:
Please don't relate the number of children one has to this case. Presumptuous, yes. Lets not get into overpopulation with this case. Many a person, with or without children, has been distracted, forgot, and done something regretful.

To Anonymous | 11:55 AM:
Don't take some ones problem and try to piggy back yours on to it. As those that know her have said she is a good mother. Don't take your hardship out on her.

To By the Grace of God:
I agree.

Father of 4 | 1:40 p.m. April 30, 2008

Those of you pointing fingers at this poor mother need to take a good look at yourself first!! Have you NEVER forgotten to do anything? Unfortunately, the time this mother did forget, it cost her a child, but it was an honest mistake that she is suffering for and would be STUPID to charge her with anything!

She probably helped the other children out of the car and said to herself "I'll leave the baby there until I get the groceries out". Then once in the house with all the groceries she started putting them away and started refereeing the other kids and forgot about the one in the car. Since she didn't hear the child making noise in the house, it didn't send off any alarms in her mind until too late.

This could EASILY happen to any one of you!! Stop being so judgemental and let those with NO sin cast the first stone!

RV | 1:50 p.m. April 30, 2008

Too sad for words. God be with the parents and help them through this.

Mom | 1:59 p.m. April 30, 2008

Someone posted that not all parents are perfect and that we all make mistakes, OK a prenting mistakes is forgetting to send the kids lunch with them or forgetting they have soccer practice. FORGETTING YOUR BABY IN A HOT CAR FOR HOURS IS NOT AN ACCIDENT, it is neglect plain and simple.
My kids cant be out of my site for less than 30 seconds before I look around for them, just how long did it take her to realize "uh where is the baby?"

Utahn76 | 2:04 p.m. April 30, 2008

So, so sad. I think about my little ones and what this mother might be feeling. PLEASE DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN EVER AGAIN TO ANYONE ELSE!!!

Ben | 2:08 p.m. April 30, 2008

I find it sad that the only solution many of you can come up with is to send this woman to jail. What exactly would that solve? While you're at it, send the kids to foster care and make them the burden of society. Somehow you think that the government is capable of fixing all of our problems?

THINK PEOPLE, there is no punishment in the world that could be worse than what this woman will put herself through. She will spend the rest of her life grieving over this one mistake.

May God be with her and her family.

neglect? | 2:12 p.m. April 30, 2008

earlier it was said that there is no other times this mother did neglect her child!!

it only has to happen once!! maybe if this mother sits in a cell for 10 years she might remember her child.
for those of you who say she suffered enough, i say not even close. the child who died might have invented the next pill to help memory!!

God bless!!!!

The ultimate mistake | 2:19 p.m. April 30, 2008

3 hours is too long to not wonder about or check on your child. We all make mistakes, but when your mistake leads to the loss of an innocent life, any personal suffering and anguish simply cannot excuse you from any scrutiny of your character.

What if this had been a babysitter who had done the exact same thing to this woman's child? Who among us would NOT be screaming for criminal charges to be brought against the babysitter?

Exactly.

With Empathy | 2:20 p.m. April 30, 2008

At first I was surprised, but then when I heard the details of this unfortunate accident, my initial jump to judge made me ashamed.
I, too, have thought that I'd leave my little one in the car for a minute while I ran things in.
With multiple children, it is easy to get distracted. With many demands in a day, it is easy to forget to close a door, put away the milk you just bought, to bring in a silent, sleeping child,... (I wished I had thought of A Solution's solution years ago!!!)
Is it good to forget? No.
Is it possible? Yes.
Could life be so overwhelming at times? Absolutely.
My love and prayers go out to the family, especially the mother. The heart ache runs deep no matter what.

Dear Ben | 2:22 p.m. April 30, 2008

You ask what would it solve to send her to jail? Using your rationale, what does it solve to send anyone to jail? If someone driving in their car was accidently distracted - perhaps made a mistake in an instant - and struck and killed your child. What would it solve to send them to jail? It wouldn't bring your child back. Tax dollars would have to be used to feed and house the neglegient driver during their jail term. So why bother? Certainly they would feel horrible for the rest of their life so why punish them further? I don't necessarily advocate jail time for her, none of us know all of the facts. But punishment must, as a rule, fit the crime. If a crime is found to have occured in this case, perhaps community service, speaking to teens or other parents about the horrible consequences of innocent mistakes, perhaps that might be an appropriate sentence.

Father of 4 | 2:23 p.m. April 30, 2008

Hey "laws for these children"........................
GET A LIFE!!!

Dear Sad (page 1 comment) | 2:24 p.m. April 30, 2008

I agree with you. We would have a very different response if this had happened while the child were in the charge of someone other than the parent (a babysitter or day care provider).

We would be less inclined to call it an innocent mistake and far more ready to see charges pressed in the matter.

tragic | 2:26 p.m. April 30, 2008

How do you tell the difference between an accident and neglect. What is the difference? If a parent forgets a child and leaves it in a fatal situation is that not neglect?
The child is just as dead either way.

bilbo | 2:27 p.m. April 30, 2008

Hyrum:
this remark you made about being suspect if not an active member is, bluntly, completely irresponsible.
I am a very active member and have been inactive in the past.
I was as moral and good then as I am today.
Dumb remarks sure make you look bad!

10 years? | 2:28 p.m. April 30, 2008

Why stop at ten? After a hundred years she'll be ten times less likely to make the mistake right?

Better yet, lets make all moms spend ten years in prison before having children so we can be sure that they will never make any mistakes.

Even if it only saves one, it's worth it right?

gal50 | 2:35 p.m. April 30, 2008

I'm one of those forgetful people who always has to set a timer whenever I do anything involving heat. I understand the need to take in the groceries while the child sleeps in the car. Perhaps then she wanted to put the groceries away so they wouldn't spoil before she took the child out of the car because the child could wake up and then she'd be stressed out while trying to both put the groceries away and comfort the child. The father was away, so she was trying to do take care of four children on her own. That's a lot of responsibility.

I can't think of a solution other than to have the other children assume some of the responsibility for either the groceries or the wakened toddler. She probably hadn't forgotten her child prior to this, so she wouldn't think to set a timer or to leave all of the car doors opened just in case. Even when we forget to turn off the stove, we don't think that we could forget our children. When we are tired and overwhelmed, we need to have some sort of backup safety system in place.

Relocated Southerner | 2:41 p.m. April 30, 2008

So judgmental! How can you even equate sitting in jail with the torment she will feel the rest of her life for inadvertently causing the death of her child? "Maybe if [she] sits in a cell for 10 years, she will remember her child"? She'll never FORGET her child nor the fact that she accidentally contributed to his death. I've known many parents who have lost children through no fault of their own, and they remember them every day of their lives. I cannot even begin to imagine how tortured this woman must feel, but apparently some of you have no clue and think she must be crucified. I guarantee you she is hurting more than anyone who has posted on this site today. And she will hurt the rest of her life, long after every one of us has forgotten this incident, so don't be so self-righteous as to suggest she needs something to "remind" her of what happened. She'll always remember this, and most everyone else will forget this (or it will be a distant memory) before summer even starts.

Mike | 2:46 p.m. April 30, 2008

Has anyone stopped to consider that God has a plan, and maybe that plan included this child dying at the time and in the manner that he did?

Leave the mother alone.

Veronica from Orem | 2:47 p.m. April 30, 2008

The information is a little scanty, but the early indications do point to neglect rather than a simple "oh my" moment. When a child dies from neglect, there has to be accountability. There is an enormous difference between an accident and neglect. I tend to agree with CougarKeith's sentiments, but this incident should be closely investigated for parental negligence as the cause of death.

Anonymous | 2:56 p.m. April 30, 2008

I have never forgotten my kids in the car, mainly because I'm paranoid due to these kinds of stories. If I go in for just a minute, they come with me. I would love to be able to say that this will never happen to me, but can any of us REALLY say that? Or that you've never thought you had all your kids and really you didn't, or you've never lost one at a grocery store, or any other of the thousands of things that can go wrong with having children in your care? Mistakes happen, some worse than others. I just wish that instead of being judgmental, we can simply pray (whatever faith we belong to) that God will strengthen this family during this extraordinarily difficult. We should be lending our support and letting this remind us how dangerous this situation can be, not condemning and getting into religious arguments. Let's come together as a community, not apart.

What indications? | 2:58 p.m. April 30, 2008

Veronica, she thought she had put him down for a nap like she does every day at that time.
Nothing has hinted at a history of neglect.
Their yard is fenced, they have safety latches on their swing set, all of her neighbors swear shes a wonderful mother and trusts her to watch their children.

What indications exactly are we talking about?
Sounds like a witch hunt to me.

Getting Perspective | 3:01 p.m. April 30, 2008

1st. No one on this forum is in a position to be the prosecutor, jury or judge, that is for the law to decide, and believe me, given the events of the past few months - harming dogs-n-cats felony laws, FLDS child abuse allegations, two children already dead in SL Valley from being left in cars in midday sun, etc. - the law will in all probability deal quite sternly with this woman.

2nd. She cannot be charged with murder, per se.' However, she will probably be charged with 'Negligent Homicide' A child died under her care and according to law, it was not an 'accident' in the actual sense of the meaning, but an event arising out of 'neglect,' i.e. walking away. Harsh words indeed, but then the law looks at these things dispassionately, like it or not.

3rd. Most importantly, has there been enough of this type of deaths happen in Utah this past year to jolt parents, especially mothers, into not being dozy and paying attention to what's going on around them? Even better, not allowing themselves, even for church, community or others sake, to be distracted from child and family safety and well-being first and foremost!

How do we really know? | 3:03 p.m. April 30, 2008

Honestly how do any of you know it wasn't intentional? We aren't able to get inside her head. We don't know and never will! I am sure here husbands even wondering. Only God and her know the truth! If she does go to jail it will reinforce even more for parents to be VERY CAREFUL because there will be more consequences than feeling bad!

Ben | 3:14 p.m. April 30, 2008

Thank you "Dear Ben" That is exactly my point. we are much too quick as a society to punish people with jail time when there are probably better ways to solve problems. Sure, incarceration is necessary at times to remove a person from the community who may be a danger to others. If this incident were intentional it would be a different story altogether, but in the case of an accident, sitting in a cell is not an appropriate solution.

Free to Choose! | 3:15 p.m. April 30, 2008

God does indeed have a plan for each and everyone of us.HOWEVER, we are free to choose and act. We are free to choose whether to take care of gods angels or neglect them. God has a plan but we are free make mistakes/choices that may alter the plans he set in motion. Do you think he sets up drunk driver to target specific individuals and that was their plan? Just something to think about!

Outside looking in | 3:16 p.m. April 30, 2008

This mother will never be the same again. Her family will never be the same again. This kind of tragedy often is too much for a marriage to survive. Blame and guilt will last a lifetime. Physical and mental illness are very real possibilities in the future. No legal punishment could be greater than what she will do to herself for the rest of her life.

I am sad to read some of the comments posted. Some are mean, vindictive and definitely judgmental. They range from the perfect parents who cannot understand this or would never ever make a mistake, to those who would lock up this woman, take away her surviving children, and throw away the key. Then there are those who question why being an active member of her church would mean she is a good mother, when her neighbors all report that she is.

Good people make horrible mistakes sometimes. This accident was preventable, yes - but was not a deliberate neglectful cruel act.

Whatever your political leanings, prejudices, religion, or no religion at all - have compassion for this family and do not presume to know how or why this occurred, or what should happen.

Mother of 8 | 3:16 p.m. April 30, 2008

Hey Father of 4, Maybe Laws for these children, was a little harsh but the reality of it is this, a mother left her precious little child in the car for not just one hour and not just 2 and not just 3 but perhaps more???? we do not know. In those hours a poor little innocent child soley depending on his parent, went through a terriable and tortures death, let us put you in the car and feel that torment. We need to remember this child and what he went through!!!!!! and make it a law that no matter what you can never leave a child in the car!!!!!!!!!

Been There | 3:38 p.m. April 30, 2008

To qualify myself somewhat, I give these facts: I am a mother of four, a college grad & a safety FREAK. I am excessively concientious of where my children are and make sure they are buckled, helmeted, chaperoned, etc. I have often spent 30 minutes or more installing child seats in a vehicle to make sure they are correctly installed. I am a SPAZ for safety.

I also could never understand how someone could leave a child in a car until it happened to me last August. I was in a hurry to a Dr's apt. & my 2-year-old (who was usually with a babysitter) was with me and fell asleep in his carseat on the way there. I got out, went into the building and met my husband (the only time he came). He asked where the kids were. I screamed and ran like a mad woman out to my car to get my son. I was a hysterical mess, an inconsolable wreck.

This story could have been about me. Leave the judgement to yourself. This woman will suffer for the rest of her life because of a mistake. Pray for her & family.

Anonymous | 3:53 p.m. April 30, 2008

I am one of SIX children. There were many times when my father was gone and out of town for business for weeks on end. Never were me or any of my siblings ever left in a store, car etc. My mom always knew where each of us was at any given moment. I don't have kids of my own, but none of my friends or family members certainly wouldn't leave their kids in a hot car. The kids go inside first and then the groceries are taken in.

to "How do we really know?" | 3:55 p.m. April 30, 2008

Be careful... big brother is watching. Maybe we should send everyone to jail because we don't really know what anyone is thinking. That's the only way to be safe after all.

I'm sure there will be an investigation made, but until then, let's assume innocence until proven guilty

Jennifer | 4:18 p.m. April 30, 2008

Three hours! So what? Mary, the Mother of God, once forgot her kid in a car seat -- um, I mean, the temple -- for THREE DAYS.

Give the woman a break. You take one kid out of a car seat thinking you've already taken the other one out. Kids go down for naps, they're quiet. It happens. Tragic. Human. Leave her be.

Don't Understand | 4:31 p.m. April 30, 2008

Could someone please clarify Jennifer's comments for me? Is she referring to Mary mother of Jesus leaving him in a temple for 3 days? I'm interested in learning the story.

Jesus in temple | 4:37 p.m. April 30, 2008

When Jesus was 12 years old, He and His family traveled to Jerusalem for the Feast of the Passover. On the trip back to Nazareth, Joseph and Mary thought Jesus was among the group of family and friends they traveled with. But after a full dayï¿½s journey, they realized Jesus was not with them. (See Luke 2:41ï¿½44.)

Joseph and Mary were worried and went back to Jerusalem to look for Jesus. For three days they searched for the young boy, finally finding Him in the temple, where He was teaching the wise men and answering their questions. (See Luke 2:45ï¿½46) ï¿½And all that heard him were astonished at his understanding and answersï¿½ (Luke 2:47).

Mary asked Jesus why He had done this, telling Him how she and Joseph had searched for Him, sorrowing. Jesus answered that He had been doing His Heavenly Fatherï¿½s work. Although Joseph and Mary knew that Jesus was to be the Savior, they did not understand His mission as well as He did. (See Luke 2:48ï¿½50.)

Prosecution | 4:58 p.m. April 30, 2008

Let's hope the prosecutor decides to let bygones be bygones. The family has suffered and will suffer enough. Does anybody remember the father who left his son in his truck, and the child got out and got lost on a ranch, dying of exposure before anybody could find him? The prosecutor went after the dad, the judge decided to throw the book at him, and the dad committed suicide rather than go to jail. I pity the prosecutor and judge in that case -- if they have hearts, they'll feel guilt the rest of their lives -- just as this mother will. Yes, we all have made mistakes in caring for children. Fortunately most of the kids survived. When a parent intentionally causes harm to a child, fine, prosecute him or her and sentence them harshly if necessary to let parents know that society will not tolerate criminal behavior. But we all have failed to tend a child every minute we have been responsible for that child. And a child can die in a pool, a back yard, a driveway or almost anywhere in a single minute.

Hanna | 5:13 p.m. April 30, 2008

She didn't want to wake the baby? What kind of lame excuse is that? I bet the real truth is she was too tired (lazy?) to carry the child in after having unloaded the groceries. She probably sat down in front of a soap on tv and popped a box of ice-cream bon bons into her mouth while her poor baby roasted alive out in the car!!

This is negligence of the worst kind. If she is devistated, she should be! There is NO EXCUSE for this kind of negligence. That sweet little baby died a horrible death. If the women of the LDS Church would spend more time learning how to think for themselves instead of trying to be all nicey nicey ("I didn't want to wake the sleeping baby!), then these horrible tragedies would be eliminated. Being NICE is STUPID! Be SMART!

dear bilbo | 5:15 p.m. April 30, 2008

I think Hyrum was trying to be ironic.

From the Ward | 5:25 p.m. April 30, 2008

This horrible accident is bad enough. The only thing that will make it worse is on Sunday when everyone in the Ward starts testifying that Heavenly Father actually meant for this to happen because He needed that sweet spirit on the other side for some reason. That kind of nonsense only turns God into a baby-killer and makes Him the last being in the universe anyone would want to or should worship! This was an accident, pure and simple. Don't any of you hyperactive spiritualists start making this into some supernatural, cosmic, Mormon fiasco. Just leave it as the real, tragic loss of life that it is.

Cheryl from So. Calif | 5:31 p.m. April 30, 2008

Leave the poor woman alone.We have all been forgetful for a moment though thankfully usually not with such tragic results.We have 7 Children(I know,that makes no diference) and we once left one behind on a Sunday at church.We dashed back and got her, she didn't even know that we were gone.That mother will second guess herself and beat herself up for the rest of her life.What a blessing it is that Heavenly Father knows the intent of our heart.Also be careful those of you who said "I would never".Never comes back very often to bite you.

How sad... | 5:36 p.m. April 30, 2008

It is not only sad that a child lost his life - but some of the comments on here are just awful and just as gut wrenching as reading the article.

He without sin, cast the first stone... I didn't know so many people were sinless on this earth... I thought there was only ONE. Hmmmm... It must feel good to be self righteous and be mean and nasty - I don't know any other reason someone would be...

Tragic | 6:37 p.m. April 30, 2008

How many times do we have to hear the same stories of people leaving babies in the car, who subsequently die? It's constantly in the news. I'm truly sorry for the family, but there's just no excuse. We all should know---you don't just "forget" your children in the car, nor do you intentionally leave them unattended at ALL. I have 3 kids and never left one alone anywhere...even when it was inconvenient for me to have to take them out of the car seat to run into a minimart for a few minutes.

Tragedies like this are preventable.

Erin | 7:13 p.m. April 30, 2008

to the person who knows this family:
give them a hug for me and send my condolences. I am very sorry to hear of their loss. Being five months pregnant with my third I can only imagine what it must be like to lose a child. God bless them all the days of their life.

James | 8:21 p.m. April 30, 2008

She will definetly pay enough without pressing charges. Lets not let the rest of her family suffer even more because of this mistake. She obviously has taken care enough of the older children. This does seem like a foolish accident.

Forget me Not | 8:36 p.m. April 30, 2008

As a person that has been working to help stop this from happening. I hope that you who think you could never forget don't, please your child's life depends on it. This happens every day not only in the states but around the world. And the busy lives we lead has the most effect. Look at the web site Kids and cars .org read the data and storys and then thank God you are so infallible. The rest of us can also get help from a new product the Forget Me Not car seat monitor and to Myles and his family I am so sorry for your loss

Ronald A. Young | 9:27 p.m. April 30, 2008

I would say that was Neglect, and what she was unaware of the other kids should have been. Aware of . Be all judgmental and self-ri-ge-oso about it all. However back in 1990 this happened to my Wife and I with our then 1 year old plus son now 19. We got back from the Store late and it was dark and we got the other two kids and the baby inside, but we forgot him and he was sleeping in his car seat. We got stuff put away kids down and then did a body count and room check No Sidney. Each thought the other had brought him in. We found him in the Car still sleep, it was night time and not to warm or cold but we still felt bad about the what if. We where extra careful from then on. So stuff does happen like it or not and it was a tragic accident and she will feel that guilt and loss for the rest of her life. The if only and what she should have /could have done. Some will just want to blame Apparently late April is not to late for Hyperthermia.

This is manslaughter!! | 9:54 p.m. April 30, 2008

As tragic as this would be to any parent, leaving a child alone in a car to die is absolutely criminal! Certainly you can have sympathy for the mother and no doubt she will feel the pain of this for the rest of her life, but this should not forgive her for what she has done. She has taken a childs life through her own neglect and self interest!!

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