Deseret News | Reader comments: Friends, family call boy's death in hot car a 'terrible accident'

Reader comments
Friends, family call boy's death in hot car a 'terrible accident'

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Terrible tragedy.. | 2:15 a.m. April 30, 2008

This is a terrible tragedy, I feel for the family. But, I agree with what the dr. from Primary Children's Hospital said in the article. I raised children of my own and I know about the demands they bring on parents and how chaotic things can get when they are young. Unfortunately for this family this was a costly "mistake".

No Excuses | 2:28 a.m. April 30, 2008

Leaving a young one in a hot car is terrible but it is no accident. For anyone not to know this is dangerous they would have to be living in a cave. There is no excuse for this type of behavior.

Joni | 4:23 a.m. April 30, 2008

I am so sorry for the family, for the mother, and for that little boy. I'm looking at my three little ones right now and I know that I would be absolutely devastated if I made a similar mistake. I hope that the neighbors and family will continue to support the family in their loss, and that outsiders and the media will remember that this tragedy involved real people, and that we will all be generous in our judgment of what happened.

Comments continue below

NoStone Caster | 4:49 a.m. April 30, 2008

"They said the mother is struggling and the blame she puts on herself is enough."

Amen to that. Twice the word "devastated" was used to describe the mother especially, but also the entire family. Nothing more need be added regarding this story. Let them mourn, grieve, and be comforted by strangers rather than ridiculed or condemned. Still, I imagine that won't stop insensitive commentors here from insisting this would never happen to them. I hope so for your sake, because I am sure this mother of four had every reason to think that too. My heart breaks for the feelings this poor mother must now go through for the rest of her life. If you have a heart, pray for her and her family and leave the criticism aside.

Anonymous | 6:08 a.m. April 30, 2008

Poor poor woman. Shes not the first of the season, just the first to have it end tragically.
Her husband had just returned from a deployment.
I know them to be active members of the church and their kids are wonderful.
It was the child's regular nap time.

The child is in a better place. There is nothing the state can do that is worse than what she will do to herself.

"Utter devastation..."

Rather than grabbing our pitchforks, lets warn our neighbors and cherish the children that we have.

Terrible Accident ? | 8:10 a.m. April 30, 2008

The report I heard on the news last night did not say that this poor child was left in the car for a few minutes. The story stated that the child had been left in the car for up to 3 hours. I didn't see anywhere in this story that confirmed or did not confirm that. I'll hold any judgement until the authorities do their job but if that is the case then this was not a case of oh my gosh I forgot where my 18 month old was for a couple of hours. That would be a case of criminal neglect.

Alice | 8:13 a.m. April 30, 2008

My heart aches for this woman. I can't imagine how devastated she is. We've all at some point suddenly remembered that one of the kids is still in the car. It's a reminder to be more on our toes.

Ema | 8:57 a.m. April 30, 2008

Is she likely to be charged with something like negligent homicide? I realize this was a mistake (I've read elsewhere that she thought she had brought him in and set him down for a nap, explaining the long gap in time), but it was a mistake that directly caused a completely avoidable death. I feel so horrible thinking about the poor trapped baby; at 18 months he was probably just barely too young to manipulate the latches on his carseat.

orion | 9:00 a.m. April 30, 2008

Poor child.
Destroyed mother. How does one get over guilt?
Devastated family.

I'm so very sorry for them.

Ema | 9:01 a.m. April 30, 2008

I actually just read a definition of negligent homicide (should have done that before posting), and apparently there has to be an actual pattern of neglect, not just a one time accident. Hopefully this woman will be able to heal and others who hear the story can learn something.

Jenny | 9:01 a.m. April 30, 2008

Anonymous: you said you know them to be active members of "the church". What church are you referring to? I just need some clarity.

Sad... | 9:10 a.m. April 30, 2008

My heart goes out to this family. Under current state law, this mother could receive the death penalty. Hopefully, cool heads prevail and the state leaves this poor woman alone.

A Solution | 9:13 a.m. April 30, 2008

Avoiding this terrible tragedy is so simple really - make it a habit to take your child out of the car FIRST, then, and ONLY THEN, take your groceries, etc. out of the car. I have four teenage children who spent many minutes in their carseats, carriers, etc. INSIDE the house while I unloaded the car. Think about it, would you rather have to spend the extra $$ to replace the groceries that might go bad if you forget them, or would you rather suffer the devastating consequences that this family will suffer for the rest of their lives. Absolutely tragic, but also absolutely preventable.

Cookie | 9:17 a.m. April 30, 2008

In this age of technology, you would think that some brilliant inventor or car seat manufacturer would come up with an alarm or warning device on
a child's car seat. Morning news shows have covered this topic before. Believe me, I can only imagine
this family's suffering. We lost a four-year old
due to one of those booster seats, the kind without the back and the little drink holders. DON'T GO
THERE!
There has to be individuals who care enough, take
time to call and/or write their legislators to
get certain products banned in their state as well
as grants for safer products on the market.
That is what I'm working on where I live.
We have sent men to the moon. Why then, can't we
keep our babies and children safer?

Hyrum | 9:22 a.m. April 30, 2008

They are good people and active members. Thus we must assume this is an accident and comfort the good people. I would certainly wonder if it were an accident if they weren't active though.

momof5 | 9:26 a.m. April 30, 2008

She is an active member of her church Jenny.

Puzzled | 9:29 a.m. April 30, 2008

To A Solution. Where did you get the teenage size car seats and shouldn't your teenagers be helping you unload those groceries??

Life too busy? | 9:32 a.m. April 30, 2008

These tragedies come about because of distractions and stress - which do strange things to people's short-term memory. The way to combat it is through establishing routines or procedures which become so engrained that even when you're not thinking, you do the right thing automatically - i.e. every time you get out of the car, you take the baby out first thing. No one is perfect, and we almost had a similar tragedy in our own family with our youngest when she was a newborn - just because my good, intelligent wife was not back in the "baby routine" yet.

Crazy | 9:44 a.m. April 30, 2008

I can't believe people are wanting criminal charges against this woman. Truly what benefit would that be?
This lady will suffer the rest of her life. Bad things happen to good people. Just hope it never happens to you. I think the comment by "a solution" is the mindset parents need to have. Always take the kids out first. If I were religious, I would pray for the whole family.

Active Member? | 9:45 a.m. April 30, 2008

Why do people here always trot out "They are active members" to dismiss the possibility of neglect or wrong doing? Are you saying that a non-member of the LDS church or an inactive member would somehow be less devastated or more culpable? Maybe a non-LDS child is just worth less in your opinions. Or is it that being LDS somehow makes you better and more caring parents? Please explain how being a "member" is at all significant to the trajedy of this event.

re: Cookie | 9:50 a.m. April 30, 2008

Why does the government have to get involved? Why don't YOU put your money and ingenuity to work and develope a car seat that meets your demands. Thats how free markets are supposed to work. You see a need for a product, develope it, market it, and if others agree with you... sell it.

Accountability | 9:53 a.m. April 30, 2008

Yes, this was a tragic incident. Yes, the mother is devestated. Yes, it's nice that the family are active members of their church.

But...

This child had a life. He had a world of unrealized potential awaiting him. Now he will never go to his first day of kindergarten, never learn to ride a bike, never get his drivers license, never graduate high school, never marry, never have children of his own. You can't say, "Ooops, what a horrible 'accident'," and just go on when a LIFE has been lost. Saying it was a 'regrettable accident' makes it seem like she dropped the carton of eggs in the driveway. This child lost his LIFE, and, as devestated as the mother and family are now, someone needs to be held accountable for the actions and events that led to that. It's not something that can be made better just by saying, "I'm sorry."

CougarKeith | 9:58 a.m. April 30, 2008

Let's get this STRAIGHT... You DON'T Accidentally Leave your kid in the car "Forgetting" about him. Let's call a spade a spade. She unloaded the groceries, and let the napping kid nap "undisturbed" because she didn't want to wake him. She neglected to CHECK ON HIM, and the heat level in the car went up and the child died. This is a horrible thing, but she didn't "Forget About Him"! It is odd how a good parent loses his cool over a crying child and "shakes" a child in frustration to try and persuade him/her to be quiet, and that is condemned without the least bit of mercy, but this is totally "Forgivable" because "SHE" is a good mother, and "They" are a "Good" family? So are many fathers who sit in prison guilty of killing their children accidentally, who never committed an unkind act toward anyone. I DO NOT Condemn this poor family, or the Mother, her suffering will never leave her. I DO CONDEMN the Salt Lake County District Attorney's Office who so UNFAIRLY Has Prosecuted in the past and future. Something to think about?

Jacki | 10:01 a.m. April 30, 2008

Jenny does it matter what church. You can be active in any church. Just because you are an active member in any faith, doesn't mean you are free from accidents in your life. Faith helps to handle those accidents or tradities in your life.

no stone throwing | 10:01 a.m. April 30, 2008

What a terrible tragedy for this family. This woman is not alone. There are many moms (and dads) who have left a child in the car while carrying in groceries, answering the phone, or attending to other children etc. Too late to turn back the clock, but there is time to give this family all the love and support they need from a great 'supportive' community. Of course this was an accident and the only tragedy here would be 'unforgiving' friends and neighbors who were fortunate enough to have remembered when they left their kids in the car but got them out in time.

Doug Minnick, Sandy, UT | 10:06 a.m. April 30, 2008

Their activity in a church shouldn't deem if they did this on accident or not. People come on!

I would believe the mother. However tragic this is I am certain she would not willingly leave her child there. Lets call a spade a spade~!?

My goodness let us not assume the worst of people or like our idle thoughts be presumptuous or take this isolated incident to a new level.

Shame on Hyrum | 10:09 a.m. April 30, 2008

NoStone Caster got it right. Someone here would get insensitive and it was Hyrum. Not even in a thread about an accidental tragedy can the LDS haters leave their pet issue alone. If you examined your stone cold heart you might find that no one in this thread implied that it wouldn't have been an accident if the woman was inactive in her church. You are inventing a semantic argument when you know the person who wrote that she was active in her church simply meant that she was known in her community and many people were familiar with and admired her parenting of her other children, whom they also would have known from church. Give it a rest already. Save your church bashing sentiments for threads about the church. Or better yet, use your energy for something positive.

Fredd | 10:11 a.m. April 30, 2008

I'm not sure what bearing being an active member of their church has. There are tragic circumstances abd there are negligent circumstances. we don't know the facts so don't judge. Especially if your judgements can cause pain. The story mentioned a woman in Moab who intentionally left her children in her car while shopping. I have also heard of people breaking windows of cars in mall parking lots because toddlers are in the car while a parent shops. Those circumstances are clear. This one is not.

Mike Packard | 10:21 a.m. April 30, 2008

Don't add insult to terrible injury; they must not be punished further.

The temperatures in a closed car, 130 degrees to 160 degrees, are like those inside a food dryer or inside a solar collector. It is certainly deadly, and in a short time.

Parents be informed and forewarned.

Ang | 10:26 a.m. April 30, 2008

I saw a mother forget her baby in an aisle in the grocery store. She was with her husband and toddler. She was sooo embarrassed, ran and got the baby in the stroller and reunited with her family. I don't know why this happens to some people. I guess we have brain lapses. I won't judge anyone, but choose to learn from others-how to be more alert and attentive myself when I have my own children. I will vow to get in the habit to take my children in the house BEFORE I take in the groceries from the car, even if it's naptime, and put a chain from my wrist to the stroller when out and about. I hope God comforts that family.

Julia | 10:28 a.m. April 30, 2008

My husband sits in the Utah State Prison a "RETURN MISSIONARY" and an "ACTIVE CHURCH MEMBER", why? Because he is a "HE" and our baby died because of "Shaken Baby" Syndrome. He loved our son who laughed and played, and he ADORED HIM! He would never ever in a million years intentionally hurt anyone, especially not our child, but playing with our 13 month old baby, throwing him into the air and catching him, the baby laughing the whole time resulted in his death over the night sleeping from "Shaken Baby Syndrome". CougarKeith is absolutely right, the hospital said it was mild head trauma, and the detectives hounded my husband and I about the playing, and the D.A. filed charges. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT, just like this poor woman. We feel her pain, and my husband is a convicted murderer in Utah State Prison because of it. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! Your children are a gift, be careful with them, and never ever forget that! He might get out in 2 years and 3 months! In the meantime, we have lost our home, filed bankruptcy, lost our baby, and are separated. Thanks Salt Lake D.A. for your mercy, we'll endure.

RE:Cougar Keith | 10:39 a.m. April 30, 2008

So you have it all figured out. Sometime somewhere when you make a mistake let me figure our what you did wrong. Oh but I forgot you don't make mistakes.

Walkon | 10:42 a.m. April 30, 2008

CougarKieth - It's so easy to blame. I will never forget the day I left my child in his car seat and ran into the grocery store. I was only gone 20-30 minutes but it was July and he was sweating profusely. I considered myself a good parent and i still do - but I will never throws stones in that direction. I can only imagine the pain she feels.

melinLV | 10:45 a.m. April 30, 2008

I live in LV and I agree with cougarKeith...I raised four daughters in the seering nevada heat. I never "forgot" my kids in the car EVER because they were at the forfront of my thoughts ALWAYS!!! Because of the heat here in the summers it always made me very nervous whenever I got home with them in the car. Maybe this mother thought she had some buffer because the temps were only in the 70's. I still don't get it though. I was always so paranoid about someone taking my child or some other horrific "accident" you read about in the papers that I would never leave them in the car for even a second while I ran in the store or house or where ever. Regardless, I think anyone who could do this has to have a very casual attitude towards their children!!

By the grace of God | 10:56 a.m. April 30, 2008

This could happen to anyone. I have accidently left my baby in the car - not because I intended to - but merely because I forgot that she was in the car with me. Oh, how upset I was about 20 minutes later when I realized it and I rushed to get her. I thank God that this did not happen to me. I love her with all of my heart.

We have all made mistakes. Who can say when each of us could have a moment of lapse of memory and this could happen to us.

Pertinent Comments | 11:03 a.m. April 30, 2008

1. Undoubtedly, the mother and family is devastated. However, it again proves that for many mothers, more than one or two children is just too many to keep tabs on and look after... That's the hardest damn reality of all!

2. I'm left to wonder what important task the mother was frantically attempting to ready for or was so focused on that took her mind off her child. Utah's dominant mindset culture is set up to keep its people's minds totally filled at all times. In other words, totally distracted! How distracted was this mother from her child's needs?

3. Now if this had happened to a dog or cat, the owner would immediately be brought up on felony charges due to the new law enacted recently by the legislature, yet no such law exists for kids who die in the same manner of neglect. I don't think such laws should be passed either for kids or pets as they're screwy misplaced intents that really don't serve the purpose they're intended for.

4. Yes, I'm a father who has lost a son to untimely death, because of DISTRACTIONS! So, don't anyone tell me I don't understand this woman's tragedy.

Anonymous | 11:06 a.m. April 30, 2008

Perhaps being an active member of any church means shes striving to become a better person and wants the same for her family.
I really didn't have to stretch for that one and its hardly an indictment on anyone else.

But if you would like to be offended...

Roscoe | 11:08 a.m. April 30, 2008

So because they are "active members of the church", the mother gets a pass this time? I'm sorry, but her negligence is directly responsible for the death of an infant. It isn't like the child could have gotten out of the car on his own, or climbed in the car by himself. There is no acceptable excuse for this and she should be charged in his murder.

Relocated Southerner | 11:22 a.m. April 30, 2008

Charging this woman with murder and hoping she'll serve time in prison will serve no useful purpose. We place people in prison to have them repay their debt to society and so they won't be a danger to the public at large. I highly doubt this woman will be a danger to the public, and this terribly tragic incident will probably never be repeated by her. Serving time in prison would pale in comparison to the guilt she will suffer the rest of her life for this terrible tragedy. and would serve no useful purpose. Stop being so judgmental. This poor mother will punish herself enough for the rest of her life.

Anonymous | 11:30 a.m. April 30, 2008

I agree with Roscoe whether accidental she cause a life to end! If she gets off what message will it send to people who are tired or their kids? Just put em in a hot car to fry and say "I forgot!" Your right that it was not a few minutes it was HOURS!! HOURS PEOPLE!!!!! How can a "good mother" for gets she has a baby for even a minute? Many drunk drivers 'accidentally" kill people.

Anonymous | 11:33 a.m. April 30, 2008

Roscoe, accidents do happen. Even tragic ones. And they are all ultimately someone's fault.

She's no criminal.

Anonymous | 11:55 a.m. April 30, 2008

I have tried for many years to have children, and I am not able to. But this worman has the ability to have precious children and she neglects to take care of the gift she has. She should have her other children taken from her and given to people tht really want to be a mother. Neglect!!! I hope she suffers the rest of her life.

Ana | 11:56 a.m. April 30, 2008

She should not be charged with murder. She did not, as in the case of Angela Yates, deliberately murder her child. She made a tragic, costly mistake but it was not murder. No parent is perfect, ALL make mistakes, but thankfully most are spared the type of consequences that happened here. The fact that her act was followed up by such consequences does not make her any worse than any other parent who in poor judgement or distraction makes a choice that MIGHT have ended in tragedy. (And every honest parent knows there are things they have done or not done that MIGHT have gone terribly wrong but didn't.) This is not a witch-hunt and prosecuting her will not help or protect ANYONE.

Bitter? | 12:03 p.m. April 30, 2008

Wow,
Is it the not having children part or the bitterness that qualifies you to judge her?

And she will suffer for the rest of her life.

Never forgot | 12:10 p.m. April 30, 2008

How could any parent forget their kid in a car? I do not understand that. How? For me it would be like forgetting to breathe. Raised five, never forgot. Ever.

RE: Anonymous | 12:24 p.m. April 30, 2008

Harsh. It's sad and I'm sorry for your fertility problems, but taking away the rest of this woman's children would only add more pain and suffering to the entire family. It's a sad, senseless death, and, even though you are trying to be a parent, until you actually are one, you have no idea how much love you feel for your children. This woman will suffer for the rest of her life over this child's death. She will need the strength of her family to help her through it. I'm not excusing her actions, I am devastated over the loss of this baby, but I know this poor woman will punish herself and feel guilt and remorse the rest of her life. I can't imagine what she must be going through, and I think everyone should stop judging and show some compassion.

Jud | 12:25 p.m. April 30, 2008

Leave Mom alone. My sister accidentally ran over her 2 year old and has mourned him for 30 years. To all of you who would never, ever forget to do the right thing, I'm glad you're so on top of things. I'm stuck over here with the imperfect people.

Never? | 12:27 p.m. April 30, 2008

sure...

Anonymous | 12:41 p.m. April 30, 2008

Somebody here makes a real good point. In this technology era, car makers should install an alarm that when a seat belt is still on, after 5 minutes, it should turn on a very loud alarm. Same when they install the doors child lock preventing the kids to open the back doors. That's what people should be doing now: ask the car dealers to install a feature like this, same as when you don't have your seat belt when turning on the engine. Let's get something positive of this instead of all the judgement and bigotry displayed. Let's be productive.

Sad | 12:56 p.m. April 30, 2008

How would you feel about the actions of the adult if she weren't the parent but rather a sitter or day care provider?

I pray for her emotional peace and comfort.

At the same time actions (even mistakes) have consequences - legal and otherwise.

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