Deseret News | Birth dad in custody fight faces allegations

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Birth dad in custody fight faces allegations

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re: April | 8:14 a.m. Dec. 26, 2007

While this is hardly a laughing matter, I can't help but chuckle at April's emphatic post, especially considering that 2 judges--people who know the law really well--have ruled in favor of Matt. But don't let that deter you from KNOWING that Harvey WILL stay with the Nielsons and you're going to stand in the middle of the floor and YELL if it turns out differently!

Jane Edwards.... | 11:41 a.m. Dec. 26, 2007

"Children do much better raised by biological relatives who look like them, think like them, and share their talents and interests."

Pretty bold statement. I wonder where you get this information. So the idea here is that the little boy should look up to this man as a role model? Not so sure I agree with that one.

I have two adopted siblings, and to say that they would have been better raised by someone who shares some portion of their DNA is misguided at best. We are a family like any other. Our combined strengths are what make us great, and no one cares a whit what DNA we have (except Jane Edwards maybe).

I cannot figure out why some people believe that sleeping with a woman (whom you apparently donï¿½t care much for anyway) somehow makes you the best choice to raise a child. And the people who sought you out, planned for you, hoped for you, prayed for you, and are now raising you ï¿½ somehow these people are less qualified than the sperm donor? I donï¿½t understand it.

Anyway, whichever side of the issue you are on, letï¿½s all hope for whatï¿½s best for little Harvey!

I agree | 4:03 p.m. Dec. 26, 2007

I completely agree with the above statement. My husband and I have adopted and just because she does not look like us will not make a difference. She is well loved and she knows she is. I love her just as much as if I would have had her biologically. Giving birh to a child or adopting them is the same thing. Its all still a family. Jane Edwards needs to talk with someone who has adopted or who is adopted before she states things like what she has said.

Comments continue below

AB | 10:09 p.m. Dec. 26, 2007

Sometime in Jane Edwards life she will come upon someone who is adopted. It might be within her own family. It might be one of her kids/grandkids/niece or whoever. What is she going to say to her own friends/family or whoever it is that has adopted a child, Is she going to tell them that they shoudn't have that child?

SLP | 11:12 a.m. Dec. 27, 2007

I am adopted. I was raised by a very loving adoptive family who made me feel loved and supported me. But I agree with Jane Edwards. You need to take a closer look at adoption. Many, I might even say most based on what I have read, experience emotional trama as a result of their adoption. Growing up I always felt like something was missing, something that was making me sad. It felt like I had a hole in my heart. I also had, make that have, identity issues. Not looking like your family or sharing DNA may not seem like a big deal but it is. Read the Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier. It may open your eyes. Children should be with their biological parents whenever possible.

Adoptee | 11:19 a.m. Dec. 27, 2007

I am adopted. I was raised by a very loving adoptive family who made me feel loved and supported me. But I agree with Jane Edwards. Growing up I always felt like something was missing, something that made me feel sad. It was like I had a hole in my heart that no one could fill. Most people had no idea I felt that way because I felt like I had to hide it. I had to be good, because I was adopted, chosen, lucky. Recently I read the Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier and it opened my eyes. Most adopted people suffer from abandonment issues, identity problems and have difficulty establishing meaningful relationships. Don't get me wrong, I love my adopted family, but given the choice...I would have chosen my birth mother. Good life or bad, it would have been my life.

I am also adopted | 12:58 p.m. Dec. 27, 2007

I am also adopted and look nothing like my adoptive parents. I have seen pictures of my birth parents and look just like them. However, I have no problems because I do not look like my parents who have raised me. In fact, I am so grateful to my birth parents for loving me so much and thinking of me before themselves in their decision of putting me up for adoption. I have two wonderful parents who have raised me to be a good person which I am very thankful for. I have a sibling which was not adopted and guess what.......she looks nothing like our parents and she is fine also. Oh my goodness, I guess I will be just fine. :)
Thank you to all you wonderful birth parents, just like mine, who are not thinking of yourselves.
For, everyone who does have problems because you do not look like whoever raised you. Then I would have to say please go and get some help and get over it. We need to be thankful that our parents have loved and took care of us, adopted or not.

Adopted | 8:47 a.m. Dec. 31, 2007

It is not just about "looking like your family" it goes deeper than that. Maybe someday you will understand. It is something that hit me recently. I am thankful that my adopted parents loved and took care of me. I just think that whenever possible a child should be with a biological parent. If both of the biological parents did not want to parent the child that would be a different story.

also adopted | 12:07 p.m. Dec. 31, 2007

If parents are putting their children up for adoption then most likely it IS because they do not want the child. Whether it be because of money, to young, not wanting a child, drugs/alcohol, they want the child to have a mother and a father, or whatever the reason is. I just think maybe you should just be grateful to your birth parents for hopefully giving you a wonderful life. I am so grateful to mine. But most importantly I am very grateful to my parents for raising me and doing such a wonderful job.

iq above 50 | 11:08 a.m. Jan. 4, 2008

Sorry dad,life doesn't wait. Baby needs a home and mom can see that she can't do it alone. You,the "doner", are a no show.

Dad is a confessed doper and never entered into that little civil contract that woud haave given him all kinds of rights. If he is out there doping and having sex with teen agers, he'll probably get another bite at the apple,but let this one go. Evidently the mother who you shafted is probably a pretty good judge of your capacity to be a father to her child. and by the way,The Constitution is more than a blanket for dead beat donors to wrap around their broken lives.

teen parents?! | 7:37 p.m. Jan. 4, 2008

You all need to figure it out!! I became a mom at 19 and we were not perfect and NOT mormon. I made $7.50 an hour and drove a rusty old Firebird. The first year was so rough, but the love for our son pushed us and now-- I'm ONLY 22. I made 53k last year, and I own a house, three cars, and a camp trailer (safer than tents for tots :-D) and we are ready to try for another baby. You think we ditzy teens can't change, but the love for our children is not any less than you "grounded" smug couples. It is stronger in many ways by the struggles we suffer from a judgemental society. I hope this guy shows you all.

think again | 9:51 p.m. Jan. 8, 2008

To teen parents, we see he is showing us. Showing us what kind of a father he wanted to be. You need to go back and reread all of the news stories. He did not want his child from the time his girlfriend was pregnant. He left her all alone and then each time he was supposed to sign the papers he didn't show up. Now, Im not saying that all young parents are not good. I was also a young mom but I did not run and either did my husband, because we wanted to be parents. This guy ran so that should show us all what kind of a "dad" he wants to be.

Grammy | 3:34 p.m. July 19, 2008

Most of these comments must come from adoptive parents.
Just from what I have read here, it sounds like everyone is for the adoptive parents. My viewpoint is a little different. I have nothing against adoption, but if the fathers rights were ignored, then the adoption should be overturned. If his parents want to help him rear the child he should be given that right back. Most males do not know about registries because they are not advertised like adoption agencies. The fathers rights are then taken away without his knowledge.Maybe the mother was dishonest an concealed the fact she was pregnant, or said the baby died? What happens then?

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