Deseret News | The tragedy of the 'kidnapped bride'

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The tragedy of the 'kidnapped bride'

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Pick your own? | 2:25 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007

They are required to get counseling, but allowed to just go out and pick someone who rubber-stamps their view? D-U-M-B

Justin | 2:57 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007

The Redd family was completely in the wrong on this one. To keep their daughter from getting married is a travesty and a mockery of the sacredness of temple marriage and the sanctity of the family. How dare they keep their daughter from attaining eternal happiness. Here's to you, Perry and Julianna. You truly earned the companionship you worked hard to have in your lives. May God bless you in your endeavors together as husband and wife, mother and father.

A Caring Parent | 3:56 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007

What a sad commentary on family relations. It sounds to me like the parents feel like they are infallible. The only reason they admitted any guilt was to avoid jail time.
The irony of it all is that they think Perry Myers is controlling and manipulative but they see nothing wrong or comparative in their actions. The parents need a thorough mental health review

Comments continue below

Ross | 5:13 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007

This is sad. The Myers need to be aware that their children will treat them the way they treated their parents. With children is seems to be so true, what goes around comes around.

Very strange... | 6:00 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007

These two parents still don't get it. And the 'therapist' is duped as well by their line. Having parents with eerily similar symptoms, I know this will never change. These people are in their own reality. I am familiar with a situation where the parents also blame everyone else for the problem but themselves and act like the children are being ungrateful and disobedient. It is frustrating because you can't tell whether it is a mental illness or just misbehavior. Myers should never get involved with these people again.

rmk | 6:25 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007

As a social worker and a therapist I am shocked that the "family friend" Reese Thomas doesn't see what an ethical breach he is involved with. It is a huge conflict of interest to counsel or engage in therapy with anyone with whom you have had a previous relationship. Pre existing relationships prevent the therapist from being objective (and objectivity can be difficult to begin with). The Redd family is being poorly served by this therapist.

This will get me banned | 6:26 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007

I never quite understood why this man's parents called him "Lemuel". One wonders if the parents actually understood the Book of Mormon. Isn't it a little bit like naming someone "Adolf" or "Osama"?

Alan Olsen | 6:38 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007

The Redds called Perry Myers evil, spread lies about him, and now they want to ï¿½welcome him into the familyï¿½? My advice to Julianna and Perry would be to stay away from her mother if they want their marriage to last. My advice to Lemuel Redd would be to stand up straight, grow a backbone, be a man, and stop hiding in his wifeï¿½s shadow.

Mimi | 6:54 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007

Sounds like there's some potential for healing here but it will not happen overnight. It would be nice to see this family reconciled.

Janis | 6:59 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007

This was so ludicrous of them to behave this way. My daughter got married 10 years ago. I did not necessarily like the person she picked out to be her husband. He was nothing like I had imagined or even wanted for my daughter. I've learned to appreciate him; he is still far from what I wanted for her. But he is good to her and good to their children. What more would any parent want. Sometimes children make choices that we as parents do not want them to do. But sometimes, just sometimes, things work out better from their choice than from ours.

jbh | 7:23 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007

i hope her husband truly loves her, shes fighting a battle against her family, i hope hes worth it. how sad it had to come to this, but i admire her courage to stand up for her rights, my best to the bride. it also goes toshow you that a parent will do anything to protect their kids. the bride will understand this when she herself becomes a mom

Mike | 7:37 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007

Patents do not always know best. Good to see her live her life like she wants to

Ken Baguley | 7:48 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007

All need to forgive and forget...Carry On!

Don't talk to the press | 7:51 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007

A little advice for Julianna----Stop talking to the press. The quicker you stop doing interviews and allowing the media into your life the faster the healing proccess will be able to start.

Guaglione | 8:19 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007

Now I'm not saying that what the parents did was right, but what if it turns out their instincts about Perry were right? It would be interesting to follow this marriage and see how it ends up. Throughout the whole story we've really only heard the "kidnapped bride's" side of the story. What if it turns out to be a completely different story in a year or two?

Theo Schlbotnick | 8:21 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007

Let's hope the story of these "people" will now dissapear forever from the media. "Great" representation of the people of Utah. Thanks Redd Family.

who's talking to the press | 9:14 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007

The last comment is so ignorant. Haven't you been watching the story...the only real comments in this article come from the parents...the only commetns made in the last month come from the parents. And the only time I have ever seen the bride talk was after her parents got on making more excusses for themselves, probably fabricating information. As there story changes everytime they speak. The only ones that appear to be seeking the press is the Parents.

SG | 9:34 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007

To really be able to move on, Julianna and her husband should move from the state. Yes it is fairly easy to track somebody through the internet but if they were to move to the other side of the country, say, then it would be harder for the Redd's to get at them again. I don't believe there has been any change in the parents and I wouldn't trust them to be anywhere near either one of them. I think Julianna and her husband need to get as far away as they can not only to protect themselves but to protect their child.

mecr | 9:36 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007

I may be the only one who disagrees here. i don't justify her parents' actions at all. They did go too far. I understand the bride taking them to court. After all, they broke the law. But reading her comments during and after court, it really doesn't display any sign from her about forgiveness or desiree to heal but actually all about reveange. They pleaded guilty and said sorry, what else is she looking for? We had read in the news about fathers who had lost their wives/kids who had really forgave their loved ones' killers. To heal, dear Juliane, you need to forgive first because it's required to us to forgive all. Just remember, you are your mother's daughter and chances are, you can be the same way as your mother. Forgiveness is the key.

Frank | 10:00 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007

I actually got to know Perry a couple years back and I can agree with his wifes comment that he is strong willed. In fact I'm not his biggest fan. Yet in general he's a good guy, if he had married my daughter I may not have liked it but I wouldnt be afraid of him being a bad husband.

concerned in Magna | 10:33 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007

Our Heavenly Father is committed to the agency of all His children. Force of any kind, whether a child is two or twelve or twenty-two, is not of the Lord. Control by force and power over another is not of the Lord.

Anonymous | 10:34 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007

What makes you all think that you have the inside story? Get on with your own lives.

MoveOn | 10:41 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007

SG you're right - except the Redd's should move! My understanding is he's a cattle rancher so they should have some money tied up in real estate. Advice to Redds: Sell it, invest the money, move to a warm climate and live out your lives. Rewrite your will to give everything to charity when you pass on. Nothing brings the relatives back around like money or the chance they might be cut out of the will! ;)

tiff | 10:45 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007

Sounds to me like someone traded in a strong-willed mother for a strong-willed husband, and the control-freak mom couldn't stand losing control. Wish this kid had gotten a chance to live life on her own for awhile, before turning herself over to another controlling influence. Which is, I bet, really what people mean when they say "strong-willed." It means someone who wants their way. I hope Julianna gets HER way from time to time.

Objective Bystander | 10:46 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007

Strong willed = Needy = Loser (Get out Julianna with your baby while you can). Don't go home to your loser parents either.

Weldon | 10:48 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007

You know those shows where the total psycho person is able to gain support from those around them while totally tearing up everyone;s lives? I think it is the son in law that has problems. He seems so controlling and the daughter seems really a push over. I mean she is only 20! Who wants their daughter to marry a controlling man at that age.
Come on people, things are not always as they appear!

at | 10:57 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007

mecr ... What's clear is that you have never been a similar circumstance. You're right that forgiveness is critical, but this new marriage of Julianna's is a more critical relationship than that with her parents. I was told flat out by my parents that I shouldn't marry and that my marriage wouldn't last over a year with my now wife of 13+ years. They tried to block the marriage, but it was clear to me that they were wrong in their assessment of my wife. Sometimes honoring your father and mother means something altogether different than what we are taught as children. Now, we have reconciled with my parents, but my relationship with them has been forever changed. In today's world it is often the parents that are the source of arrogance and ignorance, and it is the responsibility of the child to overcome generational habits that are destructive. Forgiveness, yes, but also protection of something more sacred and important.

Anonymous | 11:07 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007

If that guy wanted to marry my daughter I'd have dragged her kicking and screaming to a S.Pacific island. She'd be screaming and I would be kicking.

forgive and forget | 11:08 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007

I find it interesting that the 911 calls got destroyed? What did Perry Myers say on these tapes that the prosecutors didn't want anyone to hear?
Advice to Juliana, quit being so negative. You were never like that before. The more I see you the more I see your mother in you. forgive and forget.

Frank | 11:29 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007

I have to agree with tiff(10:45). It does seem she went from one domineering person to another, but some people like that. Theres all types of people and some love being held by the hand everywhere they go. I have a friend like that who would do just as well on their own as a house cat in the sahara.
Heres hoping after all this she's finaly happy and can stay that way.

only down this way! | 11:34 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007

This isn't indicative of Utah only the county in which they reside! Cross the line and things change, maybe these guys needed to get pulled over by UHP!

Krudd | 11:42 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007

So so sad.
Sad because her wedding was ruined.
Sad because this puts a dim view of the church for the whole world to see.
Sad because,this family will probably never be close.
I just don't see a winner anywhere here.

Anonymous | 12:11 p.m. Nov. 29, 2007

I would hate to be Perry at the family Christmas dinner!

sara | 12:35 p.m. Nov. 29, 2007

It seems that Julianna has spent her life being controlled, first by her parents and now by her husband. A recommendation for a good husband is not "Well he has never hurt me." He sounds pretty scary to me. I hope she will someday get a chance to make her own decisions.

JeffGold | 12:40 p.m. Nov. 29, 2007

Hopefully they will be able to regain their privacy and forgive each other. Hopefully the rest of us can refrain from judgement and respect their privacy.

Oh, please | 12:44 p.m. Nov. 29, 2007

Finally, all the parties involved show some common sense and this ridiculous case is finally closed. The charges shouldn't have been filed in the first place, but at least everyone has belatedly realized that sending the Redds to prison after a circus trial is not in anyone's best interest.

As for the family dynamics, I feel sorry for the Redds and the Myers. Sorry that we had to witness the spectacle of your dysfunctional families slugging it out in the media, sorry we had to listen to your woe-is-me victimhood whines, sorry we had to get embarrassing glimpses of your inner demons. My advice to all of you is to go home and shut up and try to learn something from this fiasco.

But for some nagging reason, I suspect there will be a book/made-for-TV movie from the daughter coming soon. Blecch.

Expectations | 12:44 p.m. Nov. 29, 2007

Of course the parents were in the wrong! That's why they pleaded "Guilty"! That's not a question anymore.

Now it's time to move on, but I doubt that is ever going to happend for them. Even after the father apologised and said, "We just hope that things can heal now. We want Julianna to know we are sorry and we take responsibility"... That is not enough?

What does she want???

The article said, "Dispite that acknowledgement, Myers is concerned that her parents still harbor negative opinions about her now-husband Perry Meyers"... (is that a crime?). So now the daughter gets the apology she asked for but also wants to dictate her parent's thoughts and opinions? Sounds like the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Does she want the parents sent to a concentration camp or something until they change their negative opinions of her husband? After the way he's treated them and ruined them in court and in the press?

I hope they can heal now but it doesn't sound likely.

Tragedy? | 1:06 p.m. Nov. 29, 2007

This may be a sad, pathetic story, but a tragedy... please!

Hopeful for the Myers | 1:20 p.m. Nov. 29, 2007

I had the fortune of home-teaching the Myers during the aftermath of this incident. They are wonderful people and pretty funny, too (in a LOL way). Perry was more than willing to help me with real estate questions I had before I moved. I'm sure their lives will be happy even though they'll have other problems like everyone else, but I'm glad for them that all this is finally coming to a close. Perry and Julianna, if you read this, God bless you. I hope you and your daughter are well.

Glennamaddy | 1:26 p.m. Nov. 29, 2007

Yes, I've watched enough episodes of Law & Order to understand the concept of plea bargaining, but considering all their huffing and puffing at the time that this "vicious kidnapping" took place, it would be nice if the prosecutors would say a little bit more about their reasons for now agreeing to let these "violent criminals" out on the street.

Sad story all the way around | 1:55 p.m. Nov. 29, 2007

Don't get me wrong what the parents did was wrong. You can not force an adult to do what you want when you want and how you want. But I saw the "kidnapped bride" and husband on the today show. And you have to wonder if they don't like the publicity? If you loved your family wouldn't you stay out of the news and keep it private out of respect for your parents and siblings? Or do you like everyone thinking your family is crazy it must be really hard on all of her sisters too!

Sad Aunt | 2:16 p.m. Nov. 29, 2007

Have any of you lived with the aftermath of a loved one's poor choice in a spouse? Have any of you helped raise the children who are the victims when such a marriage falls apart? If this guy turns out to be a great husband and father, wonderful. Time will make that abundantly clear. Julianna is in a tough spot. If her beloved turns out to be abusive and controlling (validating her parents' concerns), she can hardly let anyone know. Granted, the Redds took their concerns to an extreme. But if you've seen what I've seen in bad marriages, you might consider similar steps in hopes of preventing a real tragedy.

she knows her parents! | 2:31 p.m. Nov. 29, 2007

Better than anyone, there are many forms of abuse now the myers need to look after their own. You only have your children for a little while, no one owns them , only the creator with the greatest gift being LOVE!

Angie | 2:58 p.m. Nov. 29, 2007

The Redds should have known they cannot stop another person making their own choices. They knew that we all have our free agency. Did they really think their daughter would go along with their plans to the end? Maybe they really are mental...
I wish the new Meyers family the best, and hope they can forgive Mr. and Mrs. Redd one day.

Becky | 3:12 p.m. Nov. 29, 2007

I have learned that you cannot trust much of what you read in the paper. This is a sad story that should not have been handled publicly. To force it into a public forum is a red flag. This story will go on for generations...unfortunately. The facts are....well, I guess none of us really know. The true face of the players will only be revealed in the years to come and the way they continue from here. It is such a volatile life they now lead, I would hope they can rise above their previous behavior - all of them.

Floopster | 3:13 p.m. Nov. 29, 2007

Hmmmm...I remember hearing somewhere that we should honor our mother and our father.

Parent mental illness | 3:20 p.m. Nov. 29, 2007

I'll admit right up front that I don't know these folks, but I'm a father of five - three of them now married and I'm thrilled with their choices.

Loving parents all have high ideals and expectations of their children. When kids seem to make choices that parents believe will lead to unhappiness they will do something about it - even to the point of grounding their child (OH NO, THAT'S UNLAWFUL ARREST AND DETENTION). Admittedly this young lady is not a child, but how many 20 year olds have screwed up their lives with a bad choice.

The judge says these folks aren't rational - maybe if he got off his bench and played the role of father he'd see how difficult it is to be rational some times as a parent - how many parents have said, "because I said so." Is that rational?

It seems to me that this "daughter" never honored her parents enough to give them time to reconsile the situation. I think there's plenty of mental illness to go around. The honeymoon ain't over yet - good luck, you'll need it.

Anonymous | 3:31 p.m. Nov. 29, 2007

Sad is right. Actually the Meyers need counceling

mecr | 4:14 p.m. Nov. 29, 2007

at: as I said, forgiveness is the key and I also noted that the Redds did go too far away. But, as other people after me noted, the bride is not displaying any sign of mercy towards her parents. As someone said "what does she want? send them to a concentration camp?". That's the impression that I got and was meaning about. The fith commandment does not include any little print as exceptions or cases only this commandment applies. She should remember that. As I said, she's her mother's daughter.

Loving your children | 4:19 p.m. Nov. 29, 2007

For the last comment, I understand your point on having high ideals and expectations for our children. However, we all have free agency and part of our love should be to respect that. We can NOT force our children to do our will and act like dictators. If you have a hard time to be "rational" as a parent, most probably you need some counseling too.
REMEMBER, be careful how you treat your children because they are the ones who are going to pick your nursing home when your time comes.

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The tragedy of the 'kidnapped bride'