25 rules for mothers of sons

Inspired by an article I've seen about "Rules for Dads with Daughters," I went searching for a similar list for moms with sons.

This search was mostly fruitless, so I was inspired to write my own "Rules for Moms with Sons." Granted, my list will not be conclusive and may not be entirely uncontroversial.

So agree, or disagree, or take it with a grain of salt — but I hope to inspire other moms who are loving, and struggling, and tired, and proud, and eager to support the boys in their lives.

You are the most important woman in his life, his first teacher, and the one he will look to for permission for the rest of his life. From, "Can I go play with them?" to, "Should I ask her to marry me?" It's a big job, but as the mamas, we're up for it.

This content originally appeared on Tabitha Studer's blog, Team Studer. Reprinted with permission from the author.
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Cedar Hills, UT

Yet another article I am not going to read because it's in the form of a slideshow. I guess this (artificially) increases page hits, but are they going to be enough to compensate for the readers that you are driving away? When did journalism become nothing but a Powerpoint presentation?

Brigham City, UT

I'm with infoman. The list of rules- as far as I got- was a very good one, especially the first one, in my estimation. But I got tired of "clicking on" at page 10, and I quit. I could've read through the list much faster if it wasn't all chopped up.

Mark B
Eureka, CA

Isn't it supposed to read "Let him loose"? "Lose" refers to competition.


I really enjoyed this list! I will say that I modified 2 things for my own clarification:
1. I think it is okay for boys to get dirty. I don't think I should allow them to "destroy" things. Clothes and toys and furnishings in my home are temporary, so I can cherish my children over possessions, but along the way, I will teach them to respect their possessions and the possessions of others. I want my kids to create, and maybe even make a mess while doing so, but not set out to destroy things. We are creators, not destroyers.
2. I absolutely agree in the value of letting kids lose, lest they grow up feeling prideful, entitled, etc. While we don't have to say, "You are a winner because you tried," I do place merit on effort. I suppose I don't have to say "trying equals winning," rather that I value effort above winning. I will celebrate a child making a B in a class by giving his BEST effort consistently over the same child making an easy A without studying or doing their best.
Thanks again for a great article!

Broomfield, CO

I think one of the best rules is to "Let him lose." Losing is an important part of learning. Kids learn more when they fail than when life is handed to them in a perfectly wrapped package. The one thing I would add to the list is let him be a boy. Our society tries to turn boys in to gender-neutral, milk toast background noise. They need to be loud, brash, dirty, destructive, and totally not like mom. Mom's are great and they need to add balance, but boys need to be boys because mom is not always going to be there.

charlotte, NC

Loved the article - thank you!

Altamont, UT

Loved it! Glad I took all that time (sarcasm here...) to click through the list.
Number 25 was the best!

Herbert Gravy
Salinas, CA


I suppose it could be "loose" or "lose". It is good to win, but if we try our best and still
LOSE, it's ok. We have to learn to live with defeat as well as victory. Great lessons can be learned from both situations.

American Fork, UT

I don't know about the list, it's too much data to go through on a hotspot connection to load 25 pages. So, just some random thoughts about some things young lads should be able to have a go at. Drink from the hose. Swim in the stock trough. Learn to respect critters that bite. Learn to respect electricity even more. Wreck your toys, and then wonder why. Get into something that takes a solvent as harsh as gasoline to remove from your body. Learn that creatures die. Find adventure. They'll be better for it.

Columbus, OH

Literally everything on this list should apply to girls as well...

Syracuse, UT

Loved the article. Thanks!

Red Corvette
St. George, UT

Let him pee outdoors against a tree in the backyard or when camping.

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