Postcard from Salt Lake City
Dear Family:
Wish you were here. We're having a "once-in-a-lifetime experience" in Salt Lake City. That's what everyone says at the Olympics just before they empty their wallets to watch an event.
Saw the men's figure skating. Just wondering who dresses these guys. They dress a lot like Aunt Millie. I wonder who let them raid Liberace's closet. Watching men in sequins and chiffon — a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
We've been standing in line for 10 hours trying to buy a Roots beret or anything with a maple leaf on it. The Canadians are popular for some reason. Guess everyone has forgiven them for Celine Dion.
Standing in long, cold lines to buy a hat — a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
The media has been having a field day with Utah and its culture, but most of the reports are good. They say Salt Lake is not so different than other cities. One out-of-town reporter wrote, "In reality, this is like Everywhere, USA."
Is that a compliment?
The 2002 Winter Games are almost finished and I'm still looking for my first traffic jam. The "experts" told us it would take four and a half hours to get from Salt Lake City to Park City. Maybe they were walking. It takes 30 minutes, same as always.
Saw the short program last night. Also saw the skaters — little ladies who are 5-foot-nothing. Guess that's why it's called the short program. Bada-boom.
The Olympics cost billions of dollars, and now they're trying to make it back a nickel at a time. They charge full price to admit infants even if they're going to sit in mama's lap. One volunteer in Provo said, "We have had to turn people away who had two tickets, because they didn't have a ticket for junior. All the volunteers are outraged at the policy. At least they should give them a refund."
Putting unused $95 Olympic tickets in a scrapbook — a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
The airport is packed with people already heading for the exit. It looks like the start of the fourth quarter at LaVell Edwards Stadium. Where are they going?! It's not over yet. We've still got the curling finals! Making fun of curling is an Olympic event here.
Went to the medals plaza and visited the Samsung tent and the AT&T lounge and the Chevrolet torch relay truck and the Kodak Planet and the Coke museum and the Hallmark message center. Had my picture taken with the luge statue. Also saw the Jell-O museum and the Mountain Dew Village.
What is this, Atlanta with snow?
Seeing the Mountain Dew Village — a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
The major event of the Games is pin trading, which I don't get. One volunteer told me he was offered $250 for a volunteer pin and $500 for his volunteer coat. He refused.
Refusing $250 for a pin — a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
People are very friendly. One night a couple of volunteers who were dressed up like cowboys serenaded the people in line. This makes me nervous; nobody's this chummy unless they're selling you a car. We found out the volunteers took classes to learn manners and Utah history and culture. One young female volunteer cheerfully told me, "The only thing I haven't used is the manners class!"
Even Mitt Romney has pitched in to help. He directed traffic in a pinch one day and traded heated words with another man. They should've exchanged pins instead.
Getting traffic directions from a possible presidential candidate — a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
Want to feel better about not being here? Most of these winter sports are made for TV. They aren't much to look at for live spectators — or even dead ones for that matter. At the luge run, you see each racer for about a millisecond.
If you blink, you miss it. It's like watching a tennis ball fly past your nose. I've got whiplash. A boy next to us begged his mom to take him home after about 20 runs.
Watching luge — a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
Olympic officials said they ran out of wienies, but believe me there are plenty of them down on South Temple, where everybody's selling or protesting or preaching something.
Watching various religions argue about who's a Christian near the Medals Plaza — a once in-a-lifetime-opportunity.
Doug Robinson's column runs daily during the Olympics. Please send e-mail to drob@desnews.com
© 2002 Deseret News Publishing Company