Any Given Sunday

ANY GIVEN SUNDAY —**1/2 — Al Pacino, Cameron Diaz, Dennis Quaid, James Woods, Jamie Foxx, Ll Cool J, Matthew Modine, Charlton Heston, Ann-Margret; rated R (profanity, nudity, violence, vulgarity, drug use); Carmike 12, Creekside Center and Ritz 15 Theaters; Century Theatres 16; Cinemark 2ordan Landing Theaters; Loews Cineplex Midvalley, South Towne Center, Trolley North and Trolley Square Mall Cinemas.

Since this football movie of epic proportions is directed by Oliver Stone, it's sure to shed some light on the vast arena (no pun intended) of devastating pigskin conspiracies, once and for all.

Kidding aside, Stone has gone out of his way to take a fairly easy-to-understand (not to mention enjoy) story line and make it more complicated by adding some unnecessary subplots, recognizable stars with too-small parts and what seem to be outtakes from a rap music video centered around the sport.

Pieced together, the film pushes three hours in length, coming in at a whopping 170 minutes.

Tony D'Amato (Al Pacino) is the grizzled, growling coach of the Miami Sharks, a team that hasn't won a championship in four years — not since winning two AFFA (Associated Football Franchises of America) championships in a row.

On top of his pining for another win, D'Amato struggles with having aging quarterback Jack "Cap" Rooney (Dennis Quaid), being unlucky in love (not only is he divorced, but his only comfort is offered by a call girl, played by "Showgirls' " Elizabeth Hurley) and butting heads with Christina Pagniacci (Cameron Diaz), the volatile young president/co-owner of the Sharks. And, while he doesn't quite exhibit "Scarface"-type ferocity, Pacino does serve up his share of delectable blow-ups, which serves to make his character one of the strongest roles in the film.

Once Rooney (Quaid) is injured, D'Amato calls upon the Shark's third-string, seventh-round draft pick, Willie Beamen (Jamie Foxx), who, surprising everyone, breathes new life into the team. However, he doesn't read the plays D'Amato gives him to study — changing them while in the huddle — he does front flips into the end zone and he faithfully tosses his cookies every time he enters the field.

For all the things Beamen does wrong, however, the Sharks begin to regain their popularity, largely due to his influence. D'Amato, who feels there is more to the game of football than winning, is torn between winning his games haphazardly with his new star and maintaining the dignity he has fought for all his years as a football coach.

Stripped down to its bare essentials, this is a good story, one totally unexpected from director Stone. Toss in a bunch of instantly recognizable faces with bit parts, though, and things get a bit distracting. Making too-brief-to-care appearances are James Woods, Matthew Modine, Lauren Holly and — the briefest of them all — Charlton Heston, as the Commissioner of the AFFA. (Stone uses a clip from "Ben-Hur" that gets more time than Heston's role here.) Even Stone himself gets more lines than Heston, as one of the Sharks' sports announcers.

"Any Given Sunday" tries to encapsulate everything that exists about the game of football — what it is, as well as what it isn't — into one movie. And not only in the story line, but in its cinematography as well. Every shot imaginable — from repeated slow motion shots of twirling footballs being thrown to blurry scenes of crunching tackles to multiple scenes inside the locker room — is here, backed with songs like Kid Rock's "Bawitdaba." All of which gives "Any Given Sunday" the feel of a movie built around a steady stream of music videos.

In the end, the impression is that fixing this film's problems would be a lot like leading the begrudged horse to its trough. That is, you can lead Oliver Stone to the editing room, but you can't make him edit.

"Any Given Sunday" is rated R for profanity, vulgarity (bathroom humor), full frontal male nudity and some female nudity, simulated drug use and sports-related violence.