And, of course, anyone willing to sit through this completely worthless romantic comedy — and those unfortunate enough to have been dragged along with them (which will more than likely be parents of pre-teens).

It's difficult to say which part of the film is harder to swallow, its half-hearted attempt to posit 'N Sync singers Lance Bass and Joey Fatone as the new century's Beatles or its more-than-just-superficial resemblances to "Serendipity," a much-better romantic comedy that was recently released by the same studio. (Or it could be the "looped" over profanities, which were dubbed over in an effort to sanitize the material for the band's young fans — even though the filmmakers decided to keep the many flatulence

As bad as this mess is, you sort of have to feel sorry for the amiable Bass, who stars as Kevin, a young Chicago ad man hindered both professionally and romantically because of a lack of confidence.

Kevin recently met the girl of his dreams (Emmanuelle Chriqui, from "Snow Day") on the L train but failed to get either her name or phone number. Consequently, he's sunk into a deep depression, which is affecting his performance at work.

So his friends (including Fatone and rapper/alleged comedian GQ) resolve to help him find her by posting fliers around town. Unfortunately, some of their efforts hurt his chances more than help them.

It's a real indicator of the lameness of the material when even the cast can't seem to find any enthusiasm for it.

Bass seems to be sleepwalking through his part, Chriqui's performance is limited to a series of smiles, and Fatone's most significant contributions come from other parts of his body besides his mouth. (Horrifyingly, Fatone and Bass also get a chance to sing "original" material, while the significantly more talented Green is only seen lip-synching some of his hits onstage.)

"On the Line" is rated PG for crude humor (gags involving bodily functions, as well some mildly racy sexual material), as well as a couple of scenes of slapstick violence. Running time: 88 minutes.

E-MAIL: jeff@desnews.com