Holy Man

So-called family film is gross beyond belief

Movies like "Holy Man" are known as "vehicles" — projects designed to spotlight the talents of specific performers, who are then expected to carry the whole thing on their backs.

So it would be tempting to let Eddie Murphy off the hook for starring in this incredibly tasteless and unfunny comedy, except that his own company (Eddie Murphy Productions) helped bankroll it.

To be fair, it would have taken a whole lot more than a stellar Murphy performance to save this misbegotten attempt at satire, which tries to score some of the same points as "The Truman Show."

But "Holy Man" fails miserably in that attempt, and Murphy's performance is completely without charm. Also, his co-stars appear to be either embarrassed (rightfully so) or bored (ditto).

And despite its PG rating, "Holy Man" features what has become Murphy's trademark of late — vulgar body function gags and sexual jokes that are highly inappropriate for young — if not all — audiences, despite the pictures being targeted as "family films."

Of course, it doesn't help that the plot isn't much to speak of. Murphy stars as G, a mystic man who appears mysteriously to help unscrupulous network executive Ricky Hayman (Jeff Goldblum) revive his fading career.

A producer of several unsuccessful home-shopping programs, Ricky's new boss (Robert Loggia) is threatening to fire him unless he can boost the station's ratings and sell some products. In desperation, Ricky puts the would-be philosopher on the air and gets instant results.

G also helps Ricky get over his chronic lack of self-esteem and aids in his efforts to romance a beautiful co-worker, Kate Newell (Kelly Preston).

Even a 5-year-old could predict where this plot is going, and neither director Stephen Herek (the live-action "101 Dalmations") nor screenwriter Tom Schulman ("8 Heads in a Duffel Bag") have any interest in surprising us. Instead, the film is filled with phony sentiment and smarmy jokes.

To get an idea of the level of humor we're talking about, consider these examples:

— In one scene, a character drinks what he believes is iced tea, but he is told the drink contains part of his "essence." (This goes on for five mind-numbing minutes and is repeated later.)

— Two characters mistakenly refer to a laundry detergent product by a term that's actually slang for a portion of the male anatomy. (This is also repeated ad nauseam.)

Murphy is even less inspired here than he was in "Dr. Dolittle" (if possible), and Goldblum's character is so slimy that at times you just want to see him fail.

"Holy Man" is rated PG for vulgar sexual entendres, use of vulgar slang terms and other gross gags, profanity, gunplay and a chainsaw attack, and partial male nudity.