15 Minutes

"15 Minutes" is about all the time it takes for the latest example of cinematic media-bashing to start coming apart at the seams.

It's hard to remember another film so utterly clueless about itself.

Despite its pretentious posturings about being the last word on the subject of violence in the media — especially on television — "15 Minutes" winds up glorifying and justifying its own violent content. (There's no other way to look at the all-too-predictable ending.)

Keeping that in mind, any accusations by this lurid and supposedly media-savvy thriller seem a bit ironic, if not hypocritical — especially when you consider that writer/director John Herzfeld is part of the entertainment industry, and consequently, the media.

The one piece of good news here is that the filmmaker has apparently given up his attempt to become the next Quentin Tarantino (his misbegotten "2 Days in the Valley" was one of the more obvious of the many Tarantino clones). The bad news is, judging from the numerous devices stolen from "Natural Born Killers," it now appears he wants to be the next Oliver Stone. (And yes, that not only refers to Stone's characteristic use of jittery camera work but also the disturbingly ultraviolent content that inexplicably made "Natural Born Killers" a cult favorite.)

As you may have guessed, the title "15 Minutes" refers to the late Andy Warhol's claim that everyone will be famous for 15 minutes. The film's examples are immigrants Emil (Karel Roden) and Oleg (Oleg Taktarov), Eastern European thugs who have come to the states in search of a former "business associate."

However, that ill-fated reunion goes badly, and they wind up murdering the man and his wife. Oleg also videotapes the killings, which Emil tries to conceal with an all-too-obvious arson fire.

To solve the case, the fire investigator assigned to the case, Jordy Warsaw (Edward Burns), reluctantly finds himself teamed with homicide detective Eddie Griffin (Robert De Niro), a semi-celebrity and local legend.

But the criminals are a little more clever than anyone would have ever thought, as they start using legal loopholes and a tabloid-television reporter (Kelsey Grammer) to stay one step ahead of their pursuers.

As a screenwriter, Herzfeld (who also directed the cable television movie "Don King: Only in America") hasn't progressed all that much. He leaves several subplots dangling, and there are holes in the plot large enough to accommodate an entire media circus.

His directing is only marginally more skillful, though it probably only appears that way because cinematographer Jean Yves Escoffier and the talented cast both make him look better.

For instance, you can see Burns trying to elevate the material — even though he's obviously miscast as a Polish-American; De Niro upstages him with another solid performance.

But their efforts go for naught, and a series of high-profile cameos (by the likes of Charlize Theron, David Alan Grier and Kim Cattrall) further illustrates the fact that this is below most of them.

"15 Minutes" is rated R for graphic violence (including stabbing, beatings, gunfire and violence against women), frequent strong profanity, graphic gore, female nudity, brief sexual groping and use of crude sexual slang terms. Running time: 120 minutes.

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E-MAIL: jeff@desnews.com