Ghost Ship
It takes a certain kind of horror movie to qualify as "worse than expected," but "Ghost Ship" somehow manages to do exactly that.This haunted-house-on-a-boat yarn opens with an incredibly graphic, gory scene that shows a passenger ship's guests being sliced in two by a length of steel cable. As disgusting as that is, it's also as horrifying or original as the movie gets.
In fact, the film will likely even disappoint those looking for visceral thrills; the rest of the film isn't really gory enough to qualify as splatter-fest. And it's so poorly paced that it may put most audiences to sleep — if they stick around to watch anything after the opening sequence.
Besides unwary audiences, the person you have to feel most sorry for here is former "ER" star Julianna Margulies, who is being used to "sell" the movie in all the advertising. She stars as Maureen Epps, the salvage officer on the tugboat Arctic Warrior.
Maureen and the rest of the crew are supposed to be headed back to Anchorage for some much-needed R&R, but they're sidetracked by Canadian pilot Jack Ferriman (Desmond Harrington), who shows them aerial photos of a deserted ship floating adrift in the Bering Sea.
It's already a painfully cliched premise (you can almost hear the pitch meetings: "It's like 'The Poseidon Adventure,' but with ghosts!"), and director Steve Beck adds nothing innovative to the mix.
The cast is clearly going through the motions just to collect a paycheck — witness co-star Gabriel Byrne's lazy attempts at an accent, or Margulies' flat line readings.
"Ghost Ship" is rated R for violence (shootings, stabbing, violence against women, spectral attacks and explosive mayhem), graphic gore, frequent use of strong sex-related profanity, flashes of female nudity and glimpses of nude artwork, and some crude humor and sexual references. Running time: 88 minutes.
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