The Baby

Being `square' isn't always bad, but film based on successful teen books is so tame it's boring.

A friend of mine used to pride himself on saying, "I'm so square I still use the word `square'!" And that could be the motto of "The Baby-Sitters Club."

Where "Clueless" goes out of its way to be ultra-hip, "The Baby-Sitters Club" strives diligently to be unhip. It's not just a throwback to a kinder, gentler era — it's a throwback to one that never really existed. This is "Ozzie and Harriet" and "Father Knows Best" territory.

That's not such a bad thing, though. In this age of smart-alecky, mean-spirited and angst-ridden movie teens, it's kind of refreshing to see the innocence of youth celebrated.

And you don't necessarily have to be hip to be funny or amusing or even insightful. It does help, however, to have a script isn't so tame that it's boring. And that's the problem here.

For the uninitiated, "The Baby-Sitters Club" began as a series of wildly successful books, primarily with the preteen and just-teen set, then blossomed into an industry (dolls, board games, TV shows, videos, etc.).

A feature film was probably just a matter of time.

The setup has seven suburban 13-year-olds in Stoneybrook, Conn., forming a baby-sitting club, so that parents in the area can phone one central number and find seven sitters on call.

The film is ensemble in nature, though Kristy quickly emerges as the central character, a tomboy who is the organizer of the club and the brains behind its success. Story lines include the club's members forming a summer day-care camp for young kids, a trio of jealous girls trying to sabotage their work, one of the babysitters falling for an older boy (he's 17) and Kristy being reunited with her estranged, undependable father. And there are so many others that the film feels a bit plot-heavy at times.

There are attempts to deal with '90s issues, especially in the latter story element, but the film never generates any heat — it never manages to bubble, much less explode.

And one other thing — am I just getting old, or is it a bit wrong-headed to have 13-year-old girls flirting, dating and kissing (something I also complained about in "Free Willy 2")? But then, when did Hollywood ever let kids remain kids?

Most of the youngsters in the cast are good, but Schuyler Fisk stands out in her film debut as Kristy, and she manages to bring a bit more complexity to her role than the others. The adults are all played by dependable veterans (Brooke Adams, Bruce Davison, Colleen Camp, Ellen Burstyn and, as Kristy's ne'er-do-well dad, Peter Horton).

First-time theatrical-film director Melanie Mayron (best remembered for her acting role on TV's "thirtysomething") does an excellent job of keeping all the characters straight. By the end of the film, audience members will feel they have come to know most of the seven girls in the "Club." (Mayron also gives herself a quick cameo in the film's opening sequence.)

But too often "The Baby-Sitters Club" plays like a TV movie — loose, slack and ready for commercials to be strategically placed for a broadcast run. If the film was funnier or smarter (but not necessarily hipper), it might have broader appeal.

As it is, this one is strictly for fans of the books.

Come to think of it, that might be a big enough contingent to make it a hit.

"The Baby-Sitters Club" is rated PG, perhaps for some comic violence; there is nothing offensive.