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Adult children prefer to have mom live with them over dad, according to national survey

Published: Tuesday, June 4 2013 1:55 p.m. MDT

If you could choose, which parent would you rather have move in with you? In a recent survey by Visiting Angels Living Assistance Services, 1,100 adults were asked this question. (Shutterstock) If you could choose, which parent would you rather have move in with you? In a recent survey by Visiting Angels Living Assistance Services, 1,100 adults were asked this question. (Shutterstock)

If you could choose, which parent would you rather have move in with you?

In a recent survey by Visiting Angels Living Assistance Services, 1,100 adults were asked this question. All participants were age 40 or older, and had both parents still living.

While the national survey ultimately revealed that 70 percent of adult children do not want either of their parents moving in with them, if forced to choose, 67 percent sided with their mother.

Many surveyed expressed that they simply hadn't thought about what they would do if they were put in that situation. More than half of those surveyed admitted to having never discussed with their parents the type of care they would prefer in their old age.

Once the adult children were forced to think about the situation, several concerns were listed, with money being at the top. The survey found that 66 percent of those polled said they could not afford to move their parents in with them, yet 85 percent said more money from their parents' inheritance would not cause them to be more inclined to move in their parents. Ultimately, 76 percent stated that they would use their own personal finances to give their parents the care they need.

"This survey shows children don't want their aging parents to move in but they will do whatever it takes to take care of them, even if it means picking up the tab," Larry Meigs, CEO of Visiting Angels, said on its website.

Surveyors were also concerned about causing a family feud. Few had discussed with their siblings who would be the primary caretaker of their parents.

"There can be a lot of conflict in families over how to care for aging parents," Meigs said. "Part of the problem is that most families decide about their parents' care in crisis when it's too late; emotions take over and it's difficult to think logically and clearly."

But when it came down to choosing either Mom or Dad, many surveyed had the same reasoning.

Why those surveyed would choose to move in their mom:

She would help with more cooking and cleaning (86 percent)

She would help more with their kids (79 percent)

She would be neater (73 percent)

She would be a better listener (64 percent)

Why those surveyed would not choose to move in their dad:

He has worse hygiene (75 percent)

He is more likely to say inappropriate things (75 percent)

He is more sloppy (70 percent)

He is more lazy (68 percent)

He would want to control the TV more (69 percent)

More information can be found at Visitingangels.com

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Copyright 2015, Deseret News Publishing Company