Last week authorities uncovered another dastardly plot to blow up an airplane using an underwear bomb. Some questions come to mind:
Would you call such a device a BVD-IED?
If you diffused an underwear bomb, is that a de-briefing?
Speaking of which, will de-briefing become a regular part of the airport security routine?
Once passengers are screened, does it become a tidy-whitey flighty?
Other reports say terrorists may try to implant bombs into dogs that passengers carry aboard planes. Have these people no natural affection? Instead of sending the Army, we should infiltrate al-Qaida with copies of "Old Yeller," "My Dog Skip," and "Marley and Me."
The Postal Service has decided not to cut days of delivery or close facilities to save its budget after all. Instead, it announced last week it is moving its headquarters to Greece.
Voters in Greece and France have decided to make the term "austerity" illegal in polite company.
France's new motto is, "Let them eat cake — and have it, too!"
Greece's new motto is, "Blah, blah, blah — I can't hear you!"
More evidence that modern politics is juvenile: Last week Mitt Romney was in trouble for allegedly having roughed up a classmate nearly 50 years ago. Conservatives responded by accusing President Obama of once shoving a girl on the playground. Uh, guys, what about the economy?
Tennessee passed a law recently that asks parents to grade themselves on report cards as to how well they helped their child in school. Like most school requirements these days, this one is likely to fail because corporeal punishment has been outlawed.
Jay Evensen is the associate editor of the Deseret News editorial page. Follow him on Twitter @jayevensen.
Copyright 2017, Deseret News Publishing Company