SALT LAKE CITY — 25 outrageous predictions.
A primer: Predictions don't have to be true, based on fact or any specific proven empirical data. Predictions are feelings, often mobilized by media types to provoke thought, discussion and analysis of an issue; there is little science to it, but its still fun.
1: My fallen hero Tiger Woods won't win another golf tournament this year. In fact, he couldn't win the Utah State Amateur this week at Solider Hollow, even if healthy. Once healed, it is now a clinical mental thing just this side of the yips.
2: In 2011 football season openers, BYU will defeat Ole Miss 27-24, Utah will stave off Montana State 32-7 and Utah State will usher in Auburn's defense of a national championship with a 34-10 roadie loss in the South.
3: Roger Clemens will be convicted of lying to Congress about steroid use and folks in Bangkok will care more about feeding elephants.
4: No American will win any major golf tournament the next two years.
5: In the next five years, considering all conference sports, Utah and BYU will win the same number of titles in the expanded Pac-12.
6: On Friday, the NCAA will slap Ohio State with major sanctions. It will, in part, make up for the NCAA allowing the Buckeyes to play tainted players use former coach Jim Tressel in the Sugar Bowl this past January at insistence of bowl executives who wanted to protect "the integrity" of the bowl game. Integrity? Not.
7: Oregon football is headed for having a certain collective body part placed in a wringer. Quack, quack. Sanctions to come.
8: Aggie running back Robert Turbin will lead the WAC in rushing and will be the most productive running back amongst the state's major colleges in 2011.
9: LeBron James will provide at least two more major disappointing, politically stupid quotes before he plays another NBA game.
10: The NBA will not have a season in 2011.
11: The Phillies will win the World Series.
12: North Carolina will play Ohio State for the next NCAA basketball title.
13: Brett Favre will come back. From what is yet to be determined.
14: Arnold Schwarzenegger will start lifting weights again and look for movie roles. Another love child will come forth, this one from a former gym acquaintance in the 70s.
15: The Pittsburgh Steelers will win the Super Bowl.
16: By Aug. 1 Jimmer Fredette will have made more money as a professional athlete than any college basketball player drafted in June.
17: Jordan Wynn and Jake Heaps will combine for at least 45 touchdown passes.
18: At the podium of a charity event, Bronco Mendenhall and Kyle Whittingham will not perform five minutes of a comedy routine. If they did, it would bring down the roof.
19: DirecTV will lose thousands of subscribers in the region before the college football season begins without Utah and BYU in the Mountain West.
20: Moving the BYU-Utah football rivalry game from November to September will be an underwhelming success. Not in terms of finances or attendance numbers, but spirit. ESPN's TV ratings for BYU-Utah will easily surpass Washington versus Washington State.
21: The Utah Jazz will make a monster trade before they play another game.
22: Greg Miller will consider selling all or part of the Jazz.
23: Dave Checketts will parlay his consulting job with the Pistons into ownership of an NBA franchise.
24: There will still be about a half dozen radio sport talk shows in Utah this time next summer and marketing experts will marvel how it is so.
25: BYUtv programming of sporting events will surpass viewership of The mtn. network.
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