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Utah Jazz Extra: 5 (or so) things the Jazz hate

Published: Monday, Nov. 30 2009 12:00 a.m. MST

They might not verbalize it like a certain quarterback, but the Jazz despise stuff, too. Take this pop quiz to see if you can pick five things Utah's NBA team hates right now:

1. Who do the Jazz hate playing the most?

A. Any team that has Ty Lawson or Chase Budinger on it.

B. Any team that has Dirk Nowitzki on it in the fourth quarter.

C. Any team whose nickname rhymes with Blunder.

D. Any team whose nickname rhymes with Stings.

E. All of the above, plus quick teams who shoot 3-pointers.

2. What other teams do the Jazz hate right now?

A. The winless Nets.

B. The one-win T-Wolves, another threat to their lottery pick.

C. The Lakers, out of principle.

D. All of the above, plus any team that loses to the Knicks.

E. None of the above. They're lovers, not haters.

3. What does Carlos Boozer hate?

A. Going hoarse after yelling "AND ONE!"

B. Being asked about wanting to play for Miami and Chicago.

C. Not playing for Miami and Chicago.

D. Fence … sitters.

E. All of the above, plus not being able to say "Neener-neener" to fans who booed him earlier this season.

4. What does Jerry Sloan hate?

A. Any time spent away from his farm and tractors.

B. Any time spent away from his farm and tractors while opponents play zone defense against the Jazz.

C. Alley-oops, razzle-dazzle passes, wild 3s and timeouts.

D. The reputation that he doesn't play or develop rookies.

E. All of the above, plus the fact that Matt Harpring is quasi-retired.

5. What else do the Jazz hate right now?

A. Not playing Spurs more often (Jazz are 2-0 vs. S.A. so far).

B. Hearing the questions: "How does (fill-in-the-blank with body part here) feel? How long will (fill-in-the-blank with injured player here) be out? Can you spell the name of that (fill-in-the-blank with ligament here) for us, please?"

C. Seeing just how many stylish sport coats and dress shirts some of their players have in their wardrobes.

D. Having as many players behind the bench as on the bench.

E. Wondering how much better their 9-7 record — with one game to go in arguably the easiest month of their season — would be if they could replay them all at the improved level they're playing now.

(Submit quizzes to sharp-dressed men sitting behind the Jazz bench so they can have something to do during games. No, not really. Test answers: all tongue in cheek.)

e-mail: jody@desnews.com

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