Urban Meyer, who resigned last week as Florida's football coach, said he wants to spend more time with his family and tending to his health.
Last time that happened, he changed his mind in 24 hours.
Forthwith are Rock On's predictions on what Meyer's schedule will look like in the next 12 months:
Meyer spends noon-1:15 on a Thursday lunching with wife.
Meyer accepts job with ESPN the same day.
Meyer spends luxurious two-hour vacation watching video of the Florida-Alabama game.
Meyer accepts coaching position in NFL.
Asked about "giving it all up," for health and family, Meyer invokes the Bill Clinton defense, saying it depends on your definition of the term "it."
Ex-Jazz guard DeShawn Stevenson, now with Dallas, wears jersey No. 92 — the first NBA player to do so.
Awful number for a basketball uniform.
But remember, this is the guy who thinks a tattoo of Abraham Lincoln on his neck looks good, so ...
Charles Manson was caught last week with a cell phone under his mattress.
Reports say he made unauthorized calls and text messages to people in New Jersey, Florida, British Columbia and California.
Which makes you wonder if Kelvin Sampson feels weird that he and Manson got in trouble for the same thing.
On the offensive
A Dunkin' Donuts survey has shown the first thing most people do with gingerbread men is to bite off the head.
Otherwise known as the Bob Knight Maneuver.
Mike Leach, who now lives in Key West, telling the Fort Worth Star-Telegram why he's a natural for the job at Miami: "I think it's a perfect fit because I'm in Miami. I think it's a perfect fit because of the offense they run and all the skill players they've got at a variety of positions.
"Plus, they're committed to academics, and so am I."
Heaven knows, Miami is famous for its scholar-athletes. Which brings to mind the line from Omaha World-Herald columnist Brad Dickson, after Leach's name appeared in connection with the Colorado job: "It's scary to think how Leach's mind would function at high altitude."
It seems to be a little funky at sea level, too.
Futbol vs. football
According to the International Federation of Football History and Statistics, Real Salt Lake was recently rated the 248th-best soccer club in the world.
Ironically, that's exactly where Utah State is ranked among American football teams.
Copyright 2016, Deseret News Publishing Company