Quantcast

General Petraeus: Top 10 reasons BYU grads make great soldiers

Published: Wednesday, July 29 2015 12:41 p.m. MDT

General David H. Petraeus, left, talks with BYU President Cecil O. Samuelson before delivering a lecture at BYU Thursday as a guest of the Wheatley Institution.   (Jason Olson, Deseret News) General David H. Petraeus, left, talks with BYU President Cecil O. Samuelson before delivering a lecture at BYU Thursday as a guest of the Wheatley Institution. (Jason Olson, Deseret News)

As Gen. David Petraeus began his remarks at BYU Thursday night, the commanding general of U.S. Central Command shared his sense of humor by reading the following list, which was received by waves of laughter and applause.

General Petraeus' Top 10 reasons BYU grads make good soldiers:

10 — They have already been on many a mission.

9 — Army chow is no problem for folks accustomed to eating green Jell-o and shredded carrots.

8 — It's not a problem if they don't know what rank someone is, they just refer to them as Brother or Sister so-and-so.

7 — They never go AWOL. They just call it being less active.

General David H. Petraeus speaks during an interview at BYU Thursday. (Jason Olson, Deseret News) General David H. Petraeus speaks during an interview at BYU Thursday. (Jason Olson, Deseret News)

6 — They will seize any objective swiftly if you tell them refreshments will be served.

5 — They know how to make things happen. In fact if you ever need a base built quickly in a barren wasteland, stride out to where you want them to start, plant your walking stick down and say in a loud voice, "This is the place."

4 — They have innovative ideas for handling insurgents — like assigning them home teachers.

3 — They always have a years' supply of provisions on hand.

2 — They are the world's most reliable designated drivers.

1 — They understand how far Iraq has come over the last seven years, and they think that Iraq's old spot in the "Axis of Evil" can now be filled by the University of Utah.

General David H. Petraeus delivers a lecture at BYU Thursday. (Jason Olson, Deseret News) General David H. Petraeus delivers a lecture at BYU Thursday. (Jason Olson, Deseret News)

email: sisraelsen@desnews.com

Copyright 2015, Deseret News Publishing Company