Paging the paperless office. Paging the paperless office.
What, nowhere to be found?
Well, this isn't what was promised years ago, when word was that the next chapter in Corporate America's history would be fully electronic.
Alas, we're not all on the same page when it comes to documentation preferences.
It wasn't as flashy as the anticipated future filled with flying cars or moving sidewalks, but the paperless office was hailed by some as an unrelenting, inevitable move to modernism.
But, partially because some people have a special bond with paper, one that can't be ripped away, those promises appear to have been made with fingers crossed behind the back.
"I don't think it is where they expected it to be," said Kristen Bell DeTienne, professor of organizational leadership and strategy at Brigham Young University. DeTienne co-authored a report on online vs. printed documentation, which won the Best you guessed it Paper Award last year from the Association of Business Communication.
"In some cases, it was a pipe dream, not based in the reality of people's need for information. There are areas where there is a move to online information, but most of us still have an office as full of paperwork as we had 10 years ago."
Oh, there has been some progress, but estimates indicate that all the whiz-bang technological advances have resulted in a retreat from, rather than an advance toward, the paperless office. Sources differ on the amount, but most indicate that the Internet and e-mails have led to 15 percent to 40 percent more paper in the typical office, as workers make printouts to fill up file cabinets or move information to someone else's inbox. The real kind, not an electronic counterpart.
DeTienne actually is writing off the prospects of a paperless office during her lifetime.
"A lot has to do with the habits we have. It's not that the same information isn't available online, but we have a preference for it because we're comfortable with it," she said.
There is more than a shred of evidence to back up that conclusion. In fact, there are tons.
"Our shredding volume has gone up steadily every year, partly due to government regulation regarding hospitals and privacy issues," said Glen Gardner, general manager of Shred-It, a come-to-your-place shredding/recycling company.
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