Humor is key part of playing accordion

Accordion humor. Gotta love it.

Mark Cantor plays an Irish style button accordion in a local band called "Last Night's Fun," and in response to a recent column about an effort to organize a new accordion club in Salt Lake City, he sent the following:

"I enjoyed your article, but sadly won't be joining the Salt Lake Accordion Club. You see, the other day I had my accordion in the back seat of my car when I stopped at a mini-mart for a soda. When I returned to the car, I was horrified to see that someone had smashed out my back window . . . and left another accordion on the seat."

Wait, he's got more.

"What's the difference between an onion and an accordion? No one cries when you chop up an accordion."

"What's the difference between a trampoline and an accordion? You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline."

"What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and an accordion? The position of the dirt bag."

"If you were to drop an accordion and a banjo off the Empire State Building at the same time, which would hit the ground first? Who cares?"

"Oxymoron: accordion music."

"Why is an accordion better than a banjo? The accordion burns longer."

"What's the difference between an accordion player and a savings bond? The savings bond eventually matures and earns money."

"How do you get an accordion player off your front porch? Pay him for the pizza."

"What is the definition of an optimist? An accordion player with a beeper."

What is the definition of a gentleman? Someone who knows how to play the accordion, but doesn't."

Mary Finch, an assistant city editor here at the Deseret News and also a member of "Last Night's Fun" (she plays fiddle), adds, "By the way, accordions don't play 'Lady of Spain.' People do."

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And so the local accordion revival rolls forward. No less than 90 people showed up a couple of weeks ago to the exploratory first accordion club meeting, organized by Salt Lake resident Jay Todd. Everyone was armed with an accordion and a sense of humor.

Mandatory requirements, it turned out, for the club.

The second meeting — and yes, this makes it official — is set for Tuesday, Feb. 18.