Omigosh! I saw Britney's hat at Sundance

PARK CITY — Since it wouldn't be Sundance without a gazillion "Guess who I saw?" stories, well . . . guess who I saw at Sundance this weekend?

Al Pacino, Ben Affleck, Jennifer Lopez and, of course, Robert Redford were there. But I didn't see them.

After spending Friday scouring Sundance for stars, I did, however, finally catch a glimpse of Justin Timberlake's ex-girlfriend. You know, Britney Spears.

Following is the mostly true-life story of how I saw the pop star during my film festival experience. It should be noted that I am not a stalker, fanboy, groupie or stargazer. I'm just playing one in (and for) the newspaper:

6:30 a.m. — Alarm goes off. Hit snooze button.

6:39 a.m. — Smack it again.

6:48 a.m. — Harder!

6:57 a.m. — #$@%! Brainstorm how to get out of 8 a.m. newsroom shift. ("I know, I'll go to Park City later on to try to see some stars and write about it!")

6:58 a.m. — Start counting sheep and co-workers who will be in their cubicles while I'll (yawn) be sleepzzzzzz . . .

10:00 a.m. — Wake up refreshed. Leave.

11:15 a.m. — Arrive at our little Hollywood in the Hills. Ironic, there's nowhere to "park" in Park City.

11:55 a.m. — Park illegally in Prospector Square. Walk through shops quickly, pretending to be a customer.

12:15 p.m. — Finally get to Main Street Park City (a. k. a. Sunset Strip East).

12:25 p.m. — Catch breath. Begin quest to see a celebrity, anybody who closely resembles somebody famous or rich or someone who has seen one of them. Heck, I'd even be happy to see the dudes who played Screech or Urkel.

12:26 p.m. — Notice how many black-clad people are talking on cell phones. Call voice mail to fit in.

12:45 p.m. — Search continues to no avail. Wonder if celebs are even awake yet.

12:46 p.m. — Imagine Pacino smacking snooze button in nearby hotel.

1:15 p.m. — Nobody yet.

1:45 p.m. — Nada.

2:15 p.m. — Star slump continues. Make mental note to watch more TV and movies — perhaps I'm surrounded by famous people and don't even know it.