Toys can help kids expand dreams

In our country today, toys play a major part in many children's lives.

As soon as an infant begins to look at or reach for objects, some parents equip the crib with the latest baby toys and gadgets. "Learning" toys soon supplement cuddly ones. Musical, speaking and reading toys represent parents' desire to provide their toddlers with enough "brain stimulation" to excel in competitive preschools.

But such toys can cause pressure rather than stimulate exploration and play.

Media toys — such as video and computer games — are becoming part of many 3- and 4-year-old's daily routines. Parents who are away at work all day or are leading stressful lives may feel that they need to satisfy the demands of a preschooler with constructive and educational replacements of themselves. Toys can become surrogates by filling the isolation in which many of us live.

But toys don't have to be used this way.

Toys can be a positive part of a child's world. They extend a child's dreams. If a parent can help choose a toy as a way to learn about the child and who she is becoming, the process can become a communication between the two.

Often, the simpler the toy, the better. For example, pots and pans offer an opportunity for a toddler to mimic a parent's kitchen chores. Similarly, simple dolls help young children live out fantasies.

Many children turn to safer toys, such as toy animals and puppets, when they play out the aggressive feelings that they need to test. Simpler toys leave room for a child to try out her own dreams and wishes — or her own aggressive fantasies.

When making selections, a parent must consider whether a toy allows the child to interact with it or with a friend or sibling. Does the toy elicit her own fantasies and imagination and allow her to spin them into dreams that sustain the play? Does it challenge her, while leading her to find her own solutions?

Here are some other things to consider when choosing toys:

SAFETY. Inspect toys for parts that are small enough to be inhaled or swallowed. A toy should not be breakable or easily taken apart.

DURABILITY. Will the toys last the experimentation and the torturing that is a necessary part of their future?

NOISE. Can you as a parent stand the repetitious music or crooning speech that accompanies some toys?

AGE APPROPRIATENESS. Many toys are labeled with the different uses of the toy at successive ages. When these labels describe the cognitive and emotional capacities elicited by the toys, parents can be sure to enjoy and participate in the child's growing involvement with them.

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Questions or comments should be addressed to Dr. T. Berry Brazelton and Dr. Joshua Sparrow, care of The New York Times Syndication Sales Corp., 122 E. 42nd St., New York, N.Y. 10168. Questions may also be sent by e-mail to nytsyn-families@nytimes.com