We all do it.

Maybe you’ve tried to stop but you just can’t look away. The images haunt you: Women in stilettos making homemade hand soap with their toddlers. Working moms in pantsuits finding time to bring home the bacon and then serve it up in a heart-healthy, organic stir-fry. Husbands bringing their wives flowers and candy “just because.”

These carefully crafted images are part of the enticement that blogger Mike Thayer recently labeled “lifestyle porn.” And Utah, he says, is the “lifestyle porn capital of the world.”

It’s a somewhat crass comparison, but he’s not totally off the mark. Women look at these mommy blogger images, and we want it. We fantasize about having it all because these bloggers tell us we can: the perfect kids, the perfect home, the perfect life.

But what we don’t see is the truth.

“It’s not just misleading; it’s a flat-out lie. It is a vain illusion pedaled to millions of women around the world for attention, praise, validation and wealth,” Thayer writes of lifestyle bloggers. “(The women who view these blogs) see the palatial houses, fit millionaire hipster husbands with square rimmed glasses, immaculate crafts with kids, unspoiled kitchens with artisan foods, whimsical birthday parties, endless designer clothes, and think that this is all possible. They can’t look away. Even the ones who rail against it can’t look away.”

I agree 100 percent with Thayer that this “lifestyle pornography” problem is rampant, especially among Utah women who often marry young, have children quickly and truly do want to provide a wonderful home for their families.

That desire to make our homes beautiful, happy places comes from a good and deeply ingrained place. The problem arises when we start believing that what we see online or in magazines is real. Many professional bloggers and lifestyle writers hire maids, photographers, chefs and clothing designers to take that one picture that wheedles its way into our brains, telling us we, too, should look and live like that woman.

So what do we do? If we don’t want to get sucked into the warped web of this “lifestyle porn,” how do we fight it?

The first step is to realize the fantasy is indeed a fantasy. The lifestyle bloggers are making a living off selling us the perfect life. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing but admiration for these moms who have turned motherhood into livelihood. I don’t hate on them at all for that, but I refuse to be sucked into the idea that my life should, or even could, look the same. I use them for inspiration for my home and family, but I also limit the time I spend in this fantasy world. The sooner we decide to appreciate this pretty picture for what it is — an unattainable ideal — the easier it will be to put it aside, wipe the cookie dough off our sweatpants and get back to work being a real mother.

Next, we need to nurture gratitude. The fastest way to misery and jealousy is to forget what we already have in our lives. We may not have the money for a gourmet kitchen, designer clothes or professional help with our children and homes, but that’s because we make choices. Maybe you chose to forgo extravagant vacations so your child could take music lessons or so you or your husband could pursue the career with the smaller paycheck. Remind yourself of the things you chose and why you chose them. Be grateful for the reality you live instead of always yearning for what that supermom blogger has. No matter how perfectly easy things look, she pays a price for her choices, too.

Finally, the most important thing we can do as women and mothers is to be real. It’s hard to post these real moments rather than the smiling, perfect ones, but it’s the best thing we can do for each other. Post the picture with the afternoon chaos in the background. Post the image of you dropping off kids in a bathrobe. Don’t be afraid to tell your friends that you have housecleaners or nannies or whatever it is that helps you be the best "you" possible. Be honest about your success as well as your shortcomings.

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Thayer’s analysis points out that women are the ones fueling the “lifestyle porn” epidemic and the ones hurting most from it. But what he fails to mention is that women are also the answer. We are the only ones who can fix it.

We can appreciate these lifestyle bloggers and mothers for the tips they teach us and for the beauty they show us. But then it’s up to us to band together as real mothers doing the real work of motherhood. Be real. Show the world you're real. Be proud of your reality because it’s beautiful and necessary and absolutely perfect just the way it is.