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On second thought

Published: Monday, Aug. 25 2014 6:20 a.m. MDT

Updated: Monday, Aug. 25 2014 6:20 a.m. MDT

President Obama got Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki to resign recently. The normally stubborn Maliki reportedly gave in rather than accept Obama’s ice-bucket challenge.

Suddenly, kids, grown-ups and leaders all over America are dumping ice on their heads to raise awareness for amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, better known as ALS or Lou Gehrig’s disease. This is how people in the First World feel good about themselves. People in Third World countries, meanwhile, would just like a glass of water, at any temperature.

Former President George W. Bush even recorded himself being doused, then challenged former President Bill Clinton. Frankly, the time to throw ice water on Clinton was about 16 years ago.

Football coaches reportedly are happy to take the challenge. It feels just like winning a game, except ice water isn’t as sticky as a cooler full of Gatorade.

Historians can now argue over whether Babe Ruth would have dumped ice water on himself to support Lou Gehrig.

A Travis County grand jury in Texas has indicted Gov. Rick Perry for using his constitutional veto power. That has Republicans in Washington looking for ways to throw President Obama in jail for signing certain bills.

Perry vetoed the budget of the Public Integrity Unit, reportedly to pressure District Attorney Rosemary Lehmberg to resign. Lehmberg had been convicted of drunken driving. The indictment said Perry did this “with intent to harm” Lehmberg, which apparently is not the same as Lehmberg’s potential harm to anyone in front of her headlights.

Lehmberg’s blood alcohol level was measured at .239 percent, which meant she couldn’t wander out of no-smoking areas without becoming a fire risk. Apparently this is OK because you have to lose touch with reality to get into politics in Texas.

For safety reasons, Yankee Stadium officials now make fans pass through metal detectors as they enter the stadium, after which they are free to drink beer and buy souvenir wooden bats from the team store.

If this catches on at other stadiums, it will be interesting to see if the Texas Rangers make Gov. Rick Perry relinquish his veto powers at the gate, just in case Rosemary Lehmberg is at the concession stand.

EMAIL: even@deseretnews.com

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