Officer who killed family had dark side, struggled since childhood

Published: Monday, July 7 2014 8:50 a.m. MDT

"I don't want to live in fear and hate and anger," she wrote in another text.

The next morning — the day of the murders — the texting argument continued. Kelly Boren was upset that Joshua Boren allegedly called her a bad mother, the report states. She responded by threatening to take the children.

"Don't involve the kids, they are innocent," Joshua Boren texted back.

Day of the shootings

By the end of the conversation, the two seemed to have smoothed things out, and Joshua Boren agreed to pick up the children later and drop them off at her house.

About 45 minutes before Boren was about to end his shift for the police department, he Googled the terms "America's most brutal serial killers" and "narcissism," the report states.

Just before 6 p.m. on Jan. 16, Joshua Boren sent his last text message. It was to his mother, and it read: "I hope you are having a good day. Have a long and healthy life."

Several people, including Boren's sister, told investigators that he had a "deep hatred" of his mother. After Boren's father committed suicide when he was 5, his mother started using drugs and seeing several men, the report states. One of those men allegedly sexually abused Boren. But he felt his mother never properly addressed the issue, his sister told police.

As her brother struggled with being abused, the sister said he got involved with drugs during his teenage years and became addicted to sex and pornography, the report states. His family claimed he had been clean of drugs since 2000.

Later, after he was married, Boren called his sister "and told (her) that he had drugged Kelly and raped her while videotaping it," the report states.

The latest incident was in late 2013, according to the allegations.

Several people interviewed by Spanish Fork police also mentioned Boren's temper. His sister said he "usually kept things bottled in but when he snapped, he really lost control" while another mentioned, "When Josh snaps, he is uncontrollable," the report states.

Boren's struggles with being abused as a child made him increasingly unstable in the months leading up to the four murders. In December at a family gathering, there was a confrontation between Boren and his mother, according to the report.

"Josh's eyes just looked evil," the mother said of her son that day.

During the ensuing rage, witnesses told police that he exclaimed, "I'm just like you, Mom, I sweep everything under the rug."

Seeking therapy

Boren's therapist said when the man was seeing her for sex addiction and marital problems, he spent a significant amount of time trying to get over his hatred of his mother.

The therapist called Boren a "3-year-old boy stuck in a big man's body."

His wife told the therapist, according to the report, that she didn't want to report the drugging and rape allegations to police because she didn't want to ruin her estranged husband's law enforcement career.

However, detectives noted in the conclusion of their report: "Word was starting to get out about Josh drugging and raping Kelly, and he may have felt like he was about to be reported, which would have resulted in loss of his job and incarceration."

As part of his therapy, Boren was told to write things in a journal. Police found several of Boren's notebooks after the killings. In one of them, dated in December of 2013, Boren seems to list his secrets:

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