A very special father: Marty Haws has done everything he can to help his children succeed

Published: Saturday, June 14 2014 10:45 p.m. MDT

Updated: Saturday, June 14 2014 11:16 p.m. MDT

TH: Marty respects the fact that it hurts to lose and some hurt a lot more than others. There have been a few rough, quiet nights in our home. He gives them their space to feel defeat and learn from it, but there is always another game or another season to get back up and start fighting. I remember Tyler's senior year losing in the state championship game. Marty and Ty hugged each other for a long time without a lot of words. It was a rough Saturday night, but the next morning, both were up bright and early for their Sunday morning meetings. Basketball isn't everything. Not even close.

DN: What is a key to being a good teammate?

TH: Marty has taught them that team accomplishments are ALWAYS more satisfying than individual. You will never get the individual if you do not put your team first.

DN: What counsel did Marty give to be a good student on the court and classroom?

TH: Dad always gave the basketball advice, Mom always threatened (promised) that there was no basketball without being a good student.

DN: How hard did Marty push TJ and Tyler? What were the limits of where he would go or what he should say?

TH: Marty believes that a good coach doesn't motivate two people the same way. Each of our boys were motivated by different tactics.

DN: How important were the basics and fundamentals in what Marty tried to get the boys to do early?

TH: Some people are surprised when they work out with Ty and TJ because there are simply no secrets. It is all about the fundamentals and working hard. Boring but true.

DN: How important is it to be part of youth teams (AAU) growing up and is it as costly as we've heard?

TH: Once Ty and TJ decided that they had a great love for basketball, it was very important to be part of a youth team and play against the best competition possible. Marty always told my kids that someone is always bigger, better, faster and stronger and we want to play against them!

DN: How has Marty tried to get his kids to stay balanced in life?

TH: He has taught by example that you put Heavenly Father first always, then family, school and basketball. It is important to surround yourself with good people.

DN: How could such a seemingly quiet and reserved humble guy build such fire in his sons?

TH: Do not let the quiet and reserved guy fool you. The fire is all on the inside of him. He is just extremely disciplined to never let that come out in a negative way. You would never hear him yell or scream at any of his children. He doesn't work that way. But our kids know if they get that "look" from their dad, things are not good.

DN: What is the most striking feature about Marty as a father and man?

TH: He is the most patient person I have ever known. I cannot remember a time when he lost his patience with any of us — and trust me, we (especially me) give him plenty of reason to do so.

DN: Why does Marty like to stay in the background and avoid the spotlight?

TH: He has had his opportunity to be in the spotlight. He has never wanted the success of our boys to be about him. If you were to come to our home, you would not find one trophy or picture about Marty's days at BYU. If our children hear something great about their dad, it is always from their mom or grandpa.

DN: How does Marty handle letting other men have leeway in coaching his sons and not second-guess them to their face?

TH: We have been so fortunate and blessed to have some of the greatest coaches/men to teach our boys both on and off the court. We learned early on that another perspective or style is helpful. Marty believes second-guessing coaches not only does harm to Tyler and TJ but hurts the team as well. I remember Coach Lewis telling parents that any one parent could derail a team from winning the state championship. Marty's goal was always to lift the program up.

DN: What is the greatest thing Marty has tried to do as a husband?

TH: As a mother I will forever be grateful for how Marty treats me. He sets the example to our kids of how they should treat their mother and someday their wife.

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