Book review: 'We Will End the Conflict Now' offers hope for pornography addiction recovery

By Rosemarie Howard

For the Deseret News

Published: Saturday, June 7 2014 5:00 a.m. MDT

"WE WILL END THE CONFLICT NOW: Victory over Pornography from the Perspective of a Recovered Addict and His Wife,” by Mae and William A Donne, Cedar Fort, $17.99, 258 pages (nf)

Mae and William A Donne's book, “We Will End the Conflict Now: Victory over Pornography from the Perspective of a Recovered Addict and His Wife,” is a compelling, honest and hope-filled look at the road to recovery from a prevalent and pernicious addiction.

The first 31 chapters are written from William’s perspective as a husband determined to overcome an addiction that began when he was 9 years old.

In the next six chapters, Mae writes from her perspective as a wife, offering suggestions to other women struggling with the effects of a husband’s pornography addiction. A bullet-point summary is provided at the end of each chapter subheading.

For example, these refocus points are listed after the subheading, “Self-Medication”:

• Identify ways to serve others.

• Occupy your time with positive activities.

• Plan positive activities to do when you feel sad.

• Listen to good music.

She also recommends focusing on what you can control and reaching out to others in appropriate ways for support.

“In the beginning,” writes William, “I wrote this book for myself and my family. We have since been able to play a part in the recovery and healing of some men and some women. … We are grateful to have been but a tool in the hands of an Author greater than ourselves.”

Throughout the book, the Donnes acknowledge the influence the Atonement of Jesus Christ has played in their ability to forgive and heal.

“I believe he (God) has the power to help change our hearts and minds, if we seek after and work like heck for those changes to come about,” William writes in the author’s notes.

The Donnes share that being completely honest with self, spouse and God is key to the healing process. William quotes Mark Twain’s sage advice, “If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything,” and devotes an entire chapter to the subject of honesty.

“When a spouse knows there are no secrets, it is easier for him or her to trust the other completely. To have that trust will never be more important,” he writes.

Mae and William A. Donne are the parents of four children. Mae is a full-time mother; William is a business owner, writer and public speaker, and their website is at ourvictories.com. Both were raised in Washington state and currently live in Rexburg, Idaho.

Rosemarie Howard lives in a 100-year-old house on Main Street, Springville, Utah. She enjoys creating multimedia projects. Her website is at dramaticdimensions.com.

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