Viral blog post 'Marriage Isn't For You' reaffirms wisdom of unconditional love, selflessness

By Caresa Alexander-Randall

For the Deseret News

Published: Tuesday, May 20 2014 8:48 p.m. MDT

“Make their needs, their hopes, their dreams a priority,” he counseled. “You listen to them and you try to serve them.” Smith compared it to service in the sense that one will feel better as a result.

3. Love without conditions.

When Smith and his wife, Kim, married, they didn’t know the extent of his struggles with depression. But Kim made it a point to love without condition.

“She doesn’t try to come in and fix it; she doesn’t get angry,” he said. “She just gives me unconditional love.”

These actions mean more to Smith than anything, and the feeling of unconditional love motivates Smith to become a better person.

Coming in September, Smith will share another part of his life in the book “Your Life Isn’t for You: A Selfish Person’s Guide to Being Selfless,” through Berrett-Koehler Publishers, about depression, suicide and overcoming obstacles in life.

It contains a similar, universal message that if you really want to live your life, you have to give it away, he said. In a relationship, if you really want success, you can’t try to take it for yourself.

“You have to stop thinking about yourself and you have to start thinking about the needs and wants and the hopes and the dreams of the person that you love,” he said.

If you go ...

What: Seth Adam Smith book signing

When: Friday, May 23, 12:30-1:30 p.m.

Where: Deseret Book, 45 W. South Temple, Salt Lake City

Web: deseretbook.com, sethadamsmith.com

Also ...

When: Saturday, May 24, 11 a.m.-12:30 p.m.

Where: 135 N. 545 West, Bountiful

Also ...

When: Saturday, May 24, 1:30-3 p.m.

Where: Deseret Book, 1110 Fort Union Blvd., Midvale

Also ...

When: Saturday, May 24, 4-5:30 p.m.

Where: Deseret Book, 230 E. University Parkway, Orem

Email: caresaalexander@q.com

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