Frank Pignanelli & LaVarr Webb: A compilation of the shortest political books ever written

Published: Sunday, April 20 2014 12:00 a.m. MDT

Republican presidential candidate and former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney poses with children wearing shirts which spell out "Romney."

Charles Dharapak, Associated Press

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Pignanelli & Webb: Celebrities, politicians and even sports figures love to write books. Most are too long, but some are mercifully brief. We’ve searched Amazon.com for the shortest books ever written. Here are the titles and authors:

House Republicans — Heroes of America,” by President Barack Obama

How to be ‘A Regular Guy’ While Running for President," by former presidential candidate Mitt Romney

"How to Choose the Ethical Route and Apologize When You Stumble," by former Attorney General John Swallow

Why We Must Respect the Autonomy of Neighboring Countries,” by Russian President Vladimir Putin

“How I’ve Avoided the News Media,” by Congressman Jason Chaffetz

Understanding Legislation Before Passing It,” by Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi

Think Before You Speak," by Vice President Joe Biden

"How to Win Affection by Shutting Down the Government," by Sen. Ted Cruz

Embracing the NSA,” by Sen. Diedre Henderson

"Busting the Myth that all Utahns are Mormons, Republicans and are Related," co-authored by Lt. Gov. Spencer Cox, Rep. Jonathan Cox, Rich County Commissioner Bill Cox, Washington County Commissioner Dean Cox, Iron County Commissioner candidate Erick Cox with a special forward by the Executive Director of Utah Governors Office of Management and Budget, Kristen Cox.

Why Family Political Dynasties are Dangerous,” by Bill Clinton and Hillary Clinton

Why We Love Count My Vote,” by Republican state delegates

Why Bicycles Should be Banned From the Roads,” by Salt Lake City Mayor Ralph Becker

Vouchers: A Great Education Reform,” by the Utah Education Association

Why We Must Use the Endangered Species Act to Protect Federal Lands from the Oil Industry,” by Congressman Rob Bishop

Utah’s Lousy Economy, and How We Did It,” by Gov. Gary Herbert

The Beauty of Winter Inversions,” by clean air advocates

How to Cultivate Mormon Voters,” by state Sen. and former Democratic Party Chair Jim Dabakis

“Why Legislating is More Important Than Backcountry Skiing," by Senate President Wayne Niederhauser

"Learning to Love Obamacare," by Rep. Jim Dunnigan

"How to Disguise Your Texas Drawl," co-authored by Sen. Steve Urquhart and Rep. Francis Gibson

"Embarrassing Episodes When I Lost My Temper in Public," by Salt Lake County Mayor Ben McAdams

"Tough Legislative Issues I Avoided," by Sen. Curt Bramble

Giving Up,” by Senate Majority Leader Ralph Okerlund

"How to use the Zion Curtain to Enhance Profits at Your Restaurant," by the Utah Restaurant Association

What's Wrong with Weber County," by House Majority Leader Brad Dee

"Reasons the U.S. Military Budget Should be Slashed,” by Congressman Chris Stewart

"Effective Protesting at Temple Square," by Anonymous

Why I’m So Disappointed that Jim Matheson Retired,” by Mia Love

Eliminating Passion in All Things,” by Rep. Greg Hughes

Lobbyists Get Paid Too Much,” by members of the Capitol Hill Lobbyist Association

Why the Republican Party Doesn’t Really Need Your Donation,” by State GOP Chair James Evans

Gov. Gary Herbert — Action Figure,” by House Speaker Rebecca Lockhart

The Incompetence of Old Politicians,” by U.S. Sen. Orrin Hatch

The Constitution is Overrated,” by U.S. Sen. Mike Lee

"My Affection for Ultra-Liberals," by Congressman Jim Matheson

Sports Department:

Highlights of the 2013-2014 Season,” by the Utah Jazz PR office

Dominance in the PAC 12,” by the University of Utah Sports Information Office.

How to be Wild and Crazy at BYU,” by football coach Bronco Mendenhall

10 Steps to Becoming an NBA All-Star as a Rookie,” by Jimmer Fredette

Striving to be a Normal Couch Potato," by Olympic silver medalist and Utah mother Noelle Pikus Pace

"How to Talk Good and Write Even Gooder,” by Frank Pignanelli and LaVarr Webb

Republican LaVarr Webb is a political consultant and lobbyist. Previously he was policy deputy to Gov. Mike Leavitt and Deseret News managing editor. Email: lwebb@exoro.com. Democrat Frank Pignanelli is a Salt Lake attorney, lobbyist and political adviser. Pignanelli served 10 years in the Utah House of Representatives, six years as minority leader. His spouse, D’Arcy Dixon Pignanelli, is a state tax commissioner. Email: frankp@xmission.com

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