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Ask Angela: With so few choices, should I just marry him?

Published: Monday, April 14 2014 7:26 p.m. MDT

A woman feels like her choices are so limited that she should just marry this somewhat eligible bachelor and asks Angela what she should do.

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Dear Angela,

I’m an older and more mature woman who has never had children and has never been married. I live in the country where there are few bachelors and even less eligible bachelors. I’ve started dating a man who, if I’m honest, would only make a so-so husband and who I’m not very physically or emotionally attracted to. I do think, however, that maybe in time I could start to love him. He thinks the world of me and recently, I’ve been thinking that maybe that is enough for marriage. After all, I’m not young anymore and there are more benefits to being married than just being madly in love. What is your opinion? With few options and a need for companionship, should I consider marrying this man?

Thanks,

CL

Dear CL,

When it comes to marriage, settling is an option (read: temptation) at every age, but as much as we may doubt it, real deep love is an option at every age, too.

The fact that you’re saying he’d only make a “so-so” husband makes it sounds like you don’t even really respect this guy — so where is this “love in time” even going to come from?

I understand the desire for companionship, and I bet it only gets more intense with age, but I see by far more tears and more anguish from my married friends in loveless marriages than from all of my single friends combined.

So don't do that to yourself.

Instead of hoping that one day you’ll love Mr. So-So, get more creative about finding Mr. Awesome. When was the last time you took a trip to the nearest city? Made an online dating profile? Participated in a local living social or meet-up activity specifically targeted toward your age group? When you see the same 10 people week after week and month after month, your dating options can feel so depressingly limited. But, there’s a whole world filled with people looking for love and companionship, and when it comes to choosing a spouse, you deserve legitimate options.

So, plan, step outside of your norm, and be adventurous. Let us know how it goes!

Love,

Angela

Readers: What do you think? Should CL marry Mr. So-So?

Join the conversation by liking our Ask Angela Facebook page facebook.com/askangelaslc. Tweet responses at @askange_column with #MrSoSo

The Ask Angela blog is at askangelaslc.wordpress.com.

Angela Trusty is a millennial writer who lives and writes about the young single adult Mormon experience. Twitter: askange_column

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