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Carmen Rasmusen Herbert: 'I'm not bossy, I'm the boss'

Published: Wednesday, April 2 2014 12:15 p.m. MDT

But having a husband back at school for his MBA has been a really great thing for me the past two years. Instead of calling him every hour (not that much … well, maybe that much) and asking his opinion on every little thing, or suddenly falling apart when he walks in the door, I’ve had to really step it up and trust my own instincts. And I’ve realized something — I am so much stronger than I give myself credit for. And I am absolutely capable of leading. But it’s something I have to remind myself of, out loud sometimes, when I feel I’m going to break down.

“I can do this,” I say when I’m tripping over laundry, trying to feed a screaming baby or balancing a basket of toys and two fighting boys in my arms. “I am a strong woman.”

Sandberg wants to light a “can do” fire in girls now, before they get too old and think, “Oh, I could never do that. I’m not that smart/talented/well-spoken/assertive.”

Celebrities such as Beyonce, Jane Lynch, Jennifer Garner and former secretary of state Condoleezza Rice are getting behind the campaign as well.

“I think the word 'bossy' is just a squasher,” says Lynch in a YouTube video to ban bossy.

“Be brave. Be you,” superstar Beyonce encourages.

The latest thing my boys say when I tell them to clean their rooms or do their chores is, “I’m not going to invite you to my birthday!” Which is kind of hilarious, seeing that I’m the one who literally created their birthday, and throws them their stinkin’ parties in the first place.

Just out of curiosity, I asked my husband the other day if they’d ever said that to him.

“Hmm,” he thought for a moment. “Nope.”

For Pete’s sake. I wonder if it’s because the boys are secretly a little intimidated by their dad. I think a little healthy fear (respect) for parents is a good thing, but I probably don’t help the problem when I yell things like, “You just wait until your father comes home!” I don’t want them to assume Dad’s the one in charge and Mom’s just being “bossy.”

“I’m not bossy. I’m the boss.”

Or a boss. Together, my husband and I are both leaders, exemplars, mentors and the boss of the Herbert family.

Carmen Rasmusen Herbert is a former "American Idol" contestant who writes about entertainment and family for the Deseret News.

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