Balancing act: Balanced life should include time with 'the guys'

Published: Tuesday, April 1 2014 6:00 a.m. MDT

When I write about work-life balance, I naturally talk about experiences with coworkers at the office and with my family at home. But I've found that spending some time with "the guys" is also important.


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Like much of the nation, I have spent hours glued to my TV the last couple of weeks, watching the blowouts, upsets and last-second shots that are part of the annual men's and women's college basketball tournaments.

The fun and spectacle of these tournaments make this one of my favorite times of year. Even when my chosen team loses in the first round, I can always find another school to support.

But this year, the college tournaments haven't been my favorite March basketball.

Rather, I've been much more interested in the games played in my area that involve teams made up of members of local congregations of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

"Church ball" has a bad reputation with many LDS people, and it does sometimes get a bit rougher than you'd expect, especially for a sporting event that's played in a church building.

But I love it!

I had the good fortune to play on this year's team with five or six other men, guys ranging in age from their 20s to 50s, from my local congregation. It was a blast. We won enough during the "regular season" to qualify for the regional tournament. Once there, we won our first two games — both of them nail-biting, one-point victories worthy of the month's proverbial madness — before losing in the semifinals on Saturday.

It was a tough loss to take, as we were just a game away from playing for the regional championship. But as I looked back on the experience after the defeat, I couldn't keep the smile off of my face.

That seemed strange to me at first. After all, we had just lost ... and it was a rather convincing defeat. I should have been upset.

I did engage in some post-game analysis with the other guys on the team, talking about what we could have done differently or commenting on the fact that our shots weren't falling that day. But we quickly moved on to discussing plans for getting together during the "off-season" for pick-up games in our own church building.

And that's when I realized why I was happy, easily summed up in one word: brotherhood.

When I write about work-life balance, I naturally talk about experiences with coworkers at the office and with my family at home. That's completely appropriate, as my family and my job are two of my top priorities in life.

But this year's basketball experience has confirmed for me that spending some time with "the guys" is also important to the balanced life I'm trying to build.

That probably sounds obvious. I think most men and women like to get away from their daily duties now and then to spend time bonding with their friends.

This desire can lead to work-life balance problems if a man or woman spends too much time with friends instead of building family relationships. Such is always the case when we're trying to pack many activities and experiences into a limited amount of time.

Taken in moderation, though, I think these brief times away are important to keeping moms and dads, husbands and wives on the right track in all of their relationships.

For example, I've written before about my Friday lunches with old Deseret News buddies. I still look forward to these weekly excursions, and when they don't occur due to scheduling conflicts, I tend to be even grumpier than usual. There's something about hanging out with the guys over lunch every week that puts me in a good mood.

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