On Second Thought

Published: Monday, Feb. 10 2014 12:00 a.m. MST

Dancers perform during the opening ceremony of the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia, Friday, Feb. 7, 2014.

Lionel Bonaventure, Associated Press

Apparently, Sochi wants to add several new events to this year’s Olympics, such as the mad dash for adequate toilet facilities.

Early arriving media and athletes were treated to a fun ice-breaking activity last week — finishing construction of their own hotel rooms.

Well, what do you expect for $51 billion, hot and cold running borscht?

Russia’s deputy prime minister said Sochi is as safe as Boston, Washington or New York. This is supposed to make us feel better? Throw Burley, Idaho onto that list and we’ll breathe easier.

Among the problems in Sochi — tap water that may be toxic. Early arrivers were warned not to wash their faces in it. No doubt certain stronger beverages are available for that purpose.

Law-enforcement says to be on the lookout for toothpaste bombs, something new in the arsenal of terrorists looking to disrupt the games. That’s actually good news. Given the condition of the water, it’s unlikely many people will brush their teeth anyway.

Someone should tell organizers that the Super Bowl would be more exciting if two teams showed up.

Seattle had an unfair advantage in the Super Bowl. Apparently, the NSA was able to intercept Payton Manning’s signals and sell the information to the Seahawks’ defense.

G.I. Joe turned 50 this week and is still popular. You would think young boys wouldn’t get excited about playing with an action figure that is collecting a military pension.

It’s been a rough 50 years for G.I. Joe. For one thing, he shrank from 12 inches to 3 ¾ inches. War will beat you down.

G.I. Joe looks pretty good for his age, but he’s had a lot of plastic surgery.

The Utah constitution limits lawmakers to 45 days for their annual session — which means there is plenty of time to argue over the proper cadence for students to use when reciting the Pledge of Allegiance.

Francis Bellamy, the guy who wrote the original version of the pledge in 1892, was an avowed socialist who wanted to redistribute income to help the poor. In other words, Utah lawmakers may revere his words, but they never would have helped him get elected.

Jay Evensen is the Senior Editorial Columnist at the Deseret News. E-mail him at even@desnews.com. For more content, visit his web site, www.jayevensen.com.

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