Tips for living: 'Letting go of your fears'

Published: Thursday, Jan. 30 2014 5:00 a.m. MST

Laurel Christensen Day, a speaker, author and the vice president of product development at Desert Book, introduces her presentation at the Time Out for Women event in Salt Lake City last November.

Provided by Deseret Book

SALT LAKE CITY — Fears can stymie growth and lead to missing out on once-in-a-lifetime opportunities, Laurel Christensen Day told the women gathered at Time Out for Women in Salt Lake City last November.

“Life can be consumed by fears,” said Day, who is an author, speaker and vice president of product development at Deseret Book.

There are several different types of fear. The fear of disappointment is “ a sense of loss for something you’ve never had,” Day said. “It’s just disappointment. It can’t kill you.”

Practical thinking and prayers for protection can combat fear of danger or bad things. Fear of failure can be difficult, especially when it’s something that you’ve experienced again and again.

And then there is fear of success, which prevents from doing something remarkable, like Moses parting the Red Sea.

While sharing scriptures, quotes from LDS Church leaders and personal experiences — including meeting her now-husband after she turned 40 — Day shared a few tips for combating fear.

1. Fight fear with hope.

“Fear is when we don’t have hope,” Day said. One way hope is felt is through the Holy Ghost. She shared Jacob 4:13 how the Holy Ghost will always share the truth — including the truth "of who you really are."

“Fight fear with the power of the Holy Ghost,” Day said.

2. Fight fear with love.

In 1 John 4:18 it states, “Perfect love castest out fear.”

“This includes our love for God and his love for us,” Day said.

But it’s difficult to keep desiring and praying for good things and not let fear or disappointment set in when things don’t seem to work out, Day said.

“Don’t be worried about wanting something good,” she said about having righteous desires that don’t seem to be coming to fruition. “Be worried when you stop wanting.”

Day shared her experience with dating and how she had to decide to want to again, and then to overcome fears when she first met the man she would marry.

3. Fight fear with a sound mind.

“Sometimes people get stuck and don’t want to move until they know what God’s will is,” Day said. “We need to make our own choices and think things through and act.”

Peace doesn’t necessarily come when you’re making the choice, but sometimes right after the choice is made, she said. The Lord is there to help, and he wants us to use agency to choose.

The theme for the 2014 Time Out for Women tour is “Inevitable Light” (see 1 Timothy 4:14-15), and the first event is in Layton on Feb. 21-22. The tour will be in eight cities this spring, including Layton, Utah; Orlando, Fla.; Spokane, Wash.; Richfield, Utah; Long Beach, Calif.; Idaho Falls, Idaho; Albuquerque, N.M.; and Cincinnati. For registration, cost and speakers, see tofw.com.

Email: rappleye@deseretnews.com Twitter: CTRappleye

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