Parents have to be on the same page when looking to start a family, whether that family is made up of animals or children, Washington Post columnist Carolyn Hax wrote.

Hax’s latest column is in response to a letter she received, which was from a 31-year-old wife whose husband suddenly wanted to adopt a dog. The unnamed wife wanted to have a pet after starting a family, though.

“If you can go to him now and say, ‘Neither dogs nor kids will work if we aren’t in this together,’ and if he can be receptive enough to discuss things openly, then maybe you can talk yourselves, sans referee, to an answer that suits you both,” Hax wrote.

Hax also wrote that the couples need to find solutions that make them teammates more than individuals.

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