Steve Eaton: Dad plans out son's post-mission life

Published: Friday, Nov. 15 2013 3:59 p.m. MST

I don’t know why he’s nervous about coming home. I’ve been doing this daily for two years just to help him transition back.

Maybe I should make his wife-quality list for him. I could even do some checking to find out if the women I have selected would be comfortable marrying him if he picked them. That might be helpful.

Other people show up at the airport with banners and balloons. Jackson will come home to a father who looks like Superman and will be greeted by Jennifer Love Hewitt and two very pretty but less famous women who are all ready to marry him and start a family. Perhaps, to be efficient, he can go over the list I make for him and question the women on the way back to Logan. Within a week he could be married to one of them, have his very own mortgage and a kid on the way.

What does he have to worry about? I’ve got things covered.

I’m in charge of his transition to normal life.

Steve Eaton lives and works in Logan, Utah. He can be reached at

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