Steve Eaton: Columnist watches football while mowing the lawn

Published: Monday, Nov. 4 2013 4:30 p.m. MST

Each week I get sucked into the games, even though I try to do other important things I would have to do anyway at the same time. My wife gets into the games, too. At least, I know she yells a lot. She doesn’t like the idea of me mowing the lawn during commercials because she says that I track grass into the house.

Sometimes she even chases me out of the house, giving me a chance to practice some of the quarterback moves I’ve just been watching on TV. It’s hard because I know that if I fumble the remote, she’ll take it away and throw it under the still-running lawn mower. That would be sad because if she did, I won’t be there for the team when they need me most. (I don’t think you can operate TVs anymore without remotes.)

We live on a busy street, and I worry that some will find this scrambling routine so entertaining that they’ll just stand on the sidewalk placing bets on whether I will escape or the remote will die. They’ll miss the real game in the stadium. The opportunity to watch a high-performance athlete, who is mostly human, risking his life under threatening circumstances for free may draw them away from the things that matter most — the real games.

And when it comes to this athlete, you can be sure I’m getting no special treatment for my efforts. Just the satisfaction of knowing, no matter what the risk, I will be there for his team. So even if I do watch some football on TV, you now know I’m important because I’m busy saving the team and you should be doing the same.

Let’s raise our fists in the air and do a victorious grunt together.

Steve Eaton lives and works in Logan, Utah. He can be reached at Eatonnews@gmail.com

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