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Marriage isn't for you: Author explains viral blog post

By Seth Adam Smith

For Forward Walking

Published: Monday, Nov. 4 2013 12:20 p.m. MST

And, paradoxically, the more you truly love that person, the more love you receive. And not just from your significant other, but from their friends and their family and thousands of others you never would have met had your love remained self-centered.

Truly, love and marriage isn’t for you. It’s for others.

Smith said the following in an interview with the Deseret News regarding his viral blog post.

"Kim and I were going through a rough patch, a real rough patch there because of her grad school and moving to Tampa, and her being involved in grad school so much. Because of that, I started to withdraw from her and push her away, and, like it says in the article, it all came to a head. Emotions erupted — and I say it was some time ago — it was two weeks ago. This article was sort of cathartic; it was getting over it all.

"It's amazing because when we had that experience, she just said, 'I love you Seth, and I want to make this work.' That was probably the most beautiful experience of my life. And I hope that this article can help others to have an experience like that. Because I know now being in marriage, that there are times where we pull away and we push away and we center our love on ourselves and what we want and what we need when, really, the greatest love and the greatest joys in our lives come from reaching out and opening up and giving your life to somebody else. ...

Being yourself works for awhile, but if a seed always stayed itself, it would never become a tree. I think opening up is what first allows this brightness to happen, and that's love, love will do that."

Email: spetersen@deseretnews.com

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