Ask Angela: A dad wonders how to approach an immodestly dressed woman at church

Published: Monday, Oct. 14 2013 10:00 a.m. MDT

A father of teenage boys asks Angela Trusty about how to approach a woman at church about the less-than-modest way she's dressing.

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Dear Angela,

There is a single sister in my ward who has recently returned to church after being less-active for a few years. My wife and I are always happy to see new people in our ward, but I’m concerned about the immodesty of her clothing. I have teenage sons who are already bombarded with inappropriate images of women every day, and I’d like church to remain a safe haven for their eyes and their minds. How could I approach this sister about her manner of dress?

Thanks,

Attentive Dad

Dear Attentive Dad,

Don’t say anything to this woman about the way she is dressed!

If I were her, and you approached me with “constructive feedback” about my clothes, I would just die! And then never come back to church.

Both bad outcomes.

She's made the decision to come back to church, as time passes and with continued activity she'll feel impressed to make other positive changes as well. You don't need to rush or force that process.

If it's really that big of an issue, a fun idea might be to have your wife suggest a Relief Society activity focused on in style and modest fashion options. We all need the help sometimes. Plus, this would be fun and if done well, no one would feel singled out.

As for your sons, help them learn to control their thoughts and eyes both inside and outside of church — because if we’re lucky, every Sunday the pews will be filled with anyone and everyone who felt inspired to attend — “appropriately” dressed,or not.

Love,

Angela

Readers: Do you feel compelled to speak up when you see someone dressed immodestly?

To read more about Attentive Dad's concerns, check out the Ask Angela Blog and like us on Facebook!

Tweet your responses to today's article: #modestypolice

Angela Trusty is a millennial writer who lives and writes about the Latter-day Saint experience. Twitter: askange_column

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