A husband's perspective on infertility

By Jonathan Boldt

For the Deseret News

Published: Wednesday, Sept. 18 2013 2:30 p.m. MDT

Many married men know exactly what I'm talking about. Our wives love to instant message, text, Facebook and call. If there is tension at home, this ends up wearing on you, but if you are able to find ways to look forward to her communications, she will notice and the sincerity means a lot to her.

How to cope

The hopes and dreams of newlywed couples vary, the timing of life events do as well. When those hopes and dreams begin to slip away it takes a lot of work to stay strong.

  • Re-examining expectations can be depressing but with patience and love, unity is possible. If a natural-born child is out of the question, adoption is a more than viable way of creating a family.
  • It might sound cheesy, but serving others can help to fill the void. When you think about it, parenthood is the ultimate outlet for service so the natural way to feed that need is to turn outward and focus on serving the people you are closest to.
  • Most of all, just laugh.

Of course having children (even just one child) would be like winning the lottery, but as long as your spouse is your best friend and you can laugh together no matter what — you've won the jackpot.

Jonathan Boldt is the Deseret Connect Preps Editor generating content for both DeseretNews.com and KSL.com and is the author of "Shooting Blanks," humorous book on infertility.

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