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Divorced man shares his viral list of 20 marriage tips

Published: Friday, Sept. 13 2013 11:20 a.m. MDT

Gerald Rogers had no idea that his post, "Marriage advice I wish I would have had" where he lists 20 bits of marriage advice, would go viral. In fact, he wrote it while in the middle of his own divorce as somewhat of a lesson for himself.

Screen shot from the "Today" show

Gerald Rogers, a graduate of Brigham Young University, had no idea his post "Marriage advice I wish I would have had," in which he lists 20 relationship tips, would go viral. In fact, he wrote it as a lesson for himself while in the middle of a divorce.

"When I wrote that, obviously, I had no idea or intention I'd be on the 'Today' show talking about it," Rogers said on the program. "It was like 1 o'clock in the morning. There's so much pain that happens in the process of divorce. I think a lot of people can relate to that. ... I just sat down and I was like, 'What am I going to do different next time?'"

While Rogers' intentions were simply to express his feelings on his personal blog, he told "Today" he's grateful he was able to share the message with others who may need the reminder.

"The advice I wrote for myself ... there are other people, millions across the world that benefit from it. I'm grateful that God's chosen to get that message to them."

In Rogers' original post he said it took losing the woman he loved after almost 16 years of marriage to recognize what he should have done. Some of his advice includes: "Never stop courting ... Always see the best in her ... Be silly ... Be present ... Give her space ... Don't worry about money ... Never stop growing together."

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Rogers said on the show that a husband must protect his heart, maintaining a special place in it for his wife. "That's a sacred space just for that person in your life. That's where you get to have them be part of that journey and part of that life, and no one else gets that part of you."

He also said on the interview that men must be "present" for their wives. "I think a lot of us guys, we get so busy, so caught up in our minds. ... What a woman needs is that man to be present with them and fully with her."

At the end of his post Rogers said marriage is ultimately about making the choice to love one's spouse.

"ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. In the end, this is the only advice you need," Rogers wrote as the final tip. "If this is the guiding principle through which all your choices is governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your marriage. Love will always endure."

Speaking directly to men, Rogers then posed a challenge for husbands everywhere.

"MEN, THIS IS YOUR CHARGE: Commit to being an EPIC LOVER. There is no greater challenge, and no greater prize. Your woman deserves that from you. Be the type of husband your wife can’t help but brag about."

Although Rogers wrote the post for men, from his own perspective, he did say on "Today" that the advice was applicable for both men and women.

"In the end MARRIAGE isn’t about happily ever after," he wrote on the blog. "It’s about work. And a commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually invest in creating something that can endure eternity. Through that work, the happiness will come."

Email: spetersen@deseretnews.com

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