"MARRIAGE 101 FOR MEN: Why Taking Out the Trash Is a Turn On," by Sherri Mills, Cedar Fort, $12.99, 160 pages (nf)
If men are wondering how to figure out why their wives seem angry for no reason, or why they may not initiate being intimate like they did when they first got married, Utah author Sherri Mills has a suggestion.
Try taking out the trash.
Author of "I Almost Divorced My Husband But I Went On Strike Instead," Mills details what she calls the root of the biggest cause of preventable divorce in a new book directed at men.
Mills, a self-proclaimed "psycosmetologist," listened to the marital frustrations of her clients as she cut their hair. Over time, she said she realized that the main cause of their unhappiness was an imbalance of household tasks and the inability of an overloaded wife to communicate her need for help.
She says that when a husband asks his wife what is wrong, the answer is always, "nothing." But it is never "nothing." The wife begins to blame her husband for her unhappiness â€” their unhappiness.
There once was a time when Mills, too, had become frustrated with her marriage. She would return home from her job, only to be expected to do all the cooking, cleaning, taking care of the children and other household jobs without any help from her husband. Due to patterns she'd created herself based on the general expectations society has for what a wife should do, Mills was doing everything, and her family went right along with that pattern.
When Mills' frustration became resentment and then anger, she decided it was time to do something drastic. Rather than get a divorce, having seen the greater unhappiness it could cause, she went on strike and refused to do any housework until her husband and family learned just how hard it was to run a household on their own.
After requests for a book directed more toward men, Mills wrote "Marriage 101: Why Taking Out The Trash Is A Turn On."
Mills shares her beliefs that though most wives blame their husbands for their frustrations, their blame is misdirected. Men are not at fault, she writes, but they aren't off the hook.Comment on this story
With her objective to stop divorces where they could be avoided, Mills' new book gives men advice and tools to help them understand their wives and retain their masculine pride.
Mills also offers advice for those who have already divorced, to those not married yet, and a message to the women who won't give up control.
Mills fights stereotypes, as well as offers insights for those suffering with these types of marital frustrations.
If you go ...
What: Sherri Mills book signing
When: Saturday, Aug. 10, noon
Where: Barnes and Noble, McIntyre Center, 1104 E. 2100 South, Salt Lake City
Hikari Loftus is a graduate from the University of Utah.