The Transportation Security Administration made a compromise of sorts last week. It wonât allow people to carry pocketknives aboard planes, but it also wonât stop frisking 100-year-old women.
Also, kids will still have to give up the plastic bats they got while at a baseball game on vacation. All it takes is one toddler who learned to play ball at a terrorist camp in Pakistan.
Of course, most other people on a plane with a toddler wish he would be part of a sleeper cell, at least for the duration of the flight.
So now it turns out that guy wandering through television commercials with a Verizon phone repeating, âCan you hear me now?â was really a government agent.
The National Security Agency has records of every Verizon call. Thatâs sort of creepy. How can you tell the spies from the regular folks that are a part of the network following you around?
Remember the good old days when spies actually gathered intelligence on people outside the nationâs borders? Now it appears the Chinese who are spying on us probably knew we were spying on us before we did.
As the NSA scandal unfolds, itâs apparent that Americans will have to rewrite some of their historic and cultural references. Here are some suggested updates:
â˘ âAsk not what your country can do for you; we wonât give back your phone records.â
â˘ âSpeak softly and carry a big case that wonât let you accidentally pocket dial Pakistan.â
â˘ âSome men see things as they are and say why; I dream things that never were and say, âI hope Washington canât wiretap my thoughts!âââ
â˘ âWe have nothing to fear but fear itself. But, just to be safe, weâll send a letter rather than call.âComment on this story
â˘ âFrom the halls of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli, if youâre visiting these countries, do not place a call to me.â
The administration said it is necessary to spy on Americans in order to protect national security. Thatâs different from how the Soviets used to operate because we get to vote now and then; also, we have the Super Bowl.