Ask Angela: He's engaged, but we still talk late at night
I dated a boy for a long time long distance. We talked about the idea of getting married and I really cared about him. Once he moved back, he broke up with me and he got engaged to another girl within the same week. Like, what? Now, even though he’s engaged he still calls me late at night to talk about things/life/hope/dreams, etc. Am I supposed to be mad about this behavior? Ignore him? Tell him what’s up? What do you think?
Yes, definitely tell him what’s up. Don’t waste energy getting mad or trying to figure out what he’s feeling or if he still likes you or if they’ll break up or blah, blah, blah. Just give him the straight “don’t-call-me-when-you’re-engaged-to-some-other-girl” speech, and leave it at that.
He obviously likes this easy phone relationship that he doesn’t have to work for, but you’re worth more than that.
Furthermore, what can late night phone calls with another girl turn into when you’re engaged besides an affair? Nothing good, so yeah, shut it down, and shut it down quick.
Break-ups are rough and because he’s still calling you, it’s probably even harder to move on. After you’ve grieved for a little bit, get out of the house, the weather is nice, all kinds of great people are around doing really fun things — join them. You’ll find the guy who wants more than your voice on a phone, and you’ll love him and he’ll love you.
We’re rooting for you.
Readers: What do you think about phone or Skype relationships? How real can they be?
Advice columnist Angela Trusty answers questions about a variety of topics, including the Mormon young single adult experience. She is published weekly in the Deseret News and Washington Times. Email: firstname.lastname@example.org Twitter: angelatrusty
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