1. I hope you did extra laundry last night so you could have a day off today. By the way, where is my blue shirt?
2. Let’s hurry and open your presents so I can watch the game.
3. I’m glad you like it. You know, it was hard to find a hat that would look good with your gray hair.
4. Boy, I sure wish someone would give me a special day.
5. They were out of plus sizes, so I got you this vacuum cleaner instead.
6. We got you a special treat: Ultimate fighting tickets for the whole family, on the front row!
7. Don’t worry about the dishes, you can do them tomorrow.
8. Hey, you liked it when I traced my hand and gave it to you as a child.
9. Is this a good time to tell you I’ve missed some payments on the loan you co-signed?
10. We chipped in and got you this coupon for laser hair removal!
Jay Evensen, associate editorial page editor, is the author of the weekly feature “Second Thoughts.”
- Jay Evensen: On Second Thought: The 1 percent...
- My view: hippies, 2 Hell's Angels, one...
- Is it time for our first woman president?
- Radon, the unrecognized killer
- Government works best when it's not on autopilot
- H. David Burton: Calling on local leaders to...
- Drew Clark: Why Utah's thriving technology...
- Frank Pignanelli & LaVarr Webb: Iowa caucus...
- Is it time for our first woman president? 50
- Letter: Hillary and FOIA 18
- Letter: No labels in 2016? 17
- In our opinion: The lesson of... 16
- Arthur Cyr: US presidential politics... 13
- John Florez: Businesses should help pay... 10
- Radon, the unrecognized killer 10
- In our opinion: Legislators need to... 9