“A lot of kids don’t understand the differences,” Preeya said. “As a child, you’re just focused on fitting in, and you don’t want anyone pointing out anything that makes you seem different.”
For example, she said she and her sister Naeha would often take Indian food to school for lunch. “People would be like, ‘What is that?’” Preeya said. “I wasn’t ashamed or anything, but I was just, ‘I don’t want to explain this to you.’ So you kind of hide it.”
As an elementary school student at a private Christian school, she felt a little of that awkwardness during Bible study classes.
“It was just kind of weird,” she said. “I was like, ‘This is not my religion.’ Everyone knew I wasn’t Christian. I never saw the differences in cultures until we were in a religious setting, and then you could see that there were those differences.”
Preeya is not alone in this experience. Krishnan Anand, another Utah Hindu who is closely associated with the Sri Ganesha Hindu Temple of Utah in South Jordan, said her children are sometimes “confused like crazy.”
“Everyone surrounding them is following a different system of belief,” Anand said. “You have to constantly teach and remind them that everyone worships in their own way, and no one is better than any other. But this is our way.”
For Preeya, she said it helped that she had a really strong family.
“I was raised to be very secure and confident,” she said. “My parents helped us to focus on the values we shared with the other children. We all valued our families. The Mormon kids also believed in abstaining from alcohol, and all of the kids were about leading life the best that you can. So we focused on those things we had in common.”
And now, as a young adult, she says “it’s cool to be different.”
“I have friends who come over and want me to make Indian food for them,” said Preeya, who has come to the conclusion that “your differences are a big part of your character. They make you who you are.”
“And,” she adds with a chuckle, “they are a good talking point.”
Still, Preeya allows, there is much to be said for having things in common. She enjoyed her time at USC, where for the first time in her life she found herself living among a rather large number of Indians.
"It was a little bit of a culture shock for me," she said. "They had on-campus Indian organizations, and there were a lot more Indian kids my age than I was ever around growing up. It was cool to see other individuals who had the same background as I did, growing up in the States, learning about Indian culture from our parents and having that love and appreciation for our culture instilled in us."
Although she returned to Utah to continue her education, the USC experience convinced her of one thing: “I would like to be married to an Indian.”
“I want to find someone who shares my beliefs and values," she said. "I realize there are a lot of Indians who don’t have the same values and feelings about the religion, but I would like to marry someone who shares my values and culture and beliefs. I want to be able to pass on my culture to my children in the same way that my parents passed it on to me. It would be a lot easier to do that if the person I’m married to felt the same way.”
But, she adds quickly, “you know how life is.”
“It might not work out that way, but it was a good thing in my life,” Preeya said. “My parents encouraged us to embrace our culture — all of our cultures. It helped me to understand the intricacies of other cultures and religions. Having parents who exemplify and teach that kind of cultural appreciation is important if you want to have children who are compassionate and well-rounded.”
Even if they are difficult to define.
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