New trend: Babies born before marriage pose dramatic challenges to future of families

Published: Thursday, March 14 2013 6:35 p.m. MDT

Both for their own sake and for the sake of potential partners, twenty-somethings should see their romantic relationships as opportunities to grow in the virtues of love and commitment.


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CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. — Family life in America is growing as distinct as two sides of a coin. Those with college educations often divorce less, earn more and enjoy fairly traditional marriage and stability for kids, a new national report says. Among the less-educated majority, young parents are usually unmarried at the birth of their first child, risking family stability and the baby’s future.

Those with college degrees will likely produce privileged children with predictable opportunities. Delays in marriage age give well-educated women, in particular, and their future children a chance to get ahead. The other, larger group of kids will have to work harder and will have fewer opportunities to move up socially and economically, according to the report released late Thursday, “Knot Yet: The Benefits and Costs of Delayed Marriage in America.”

Both scenarios are undergirded by an unprecedented increase in the average age of first marriage to 26.5 for women and 28.7 for men, according to the report, just released by the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia, the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy and the RELATE Institute. While there's a tendency to think that maturity and stability will increase with age, the report says the marriage delay is not a good thing.

The shift has created what’s being called a “Great Crossover,” where the average age of a first birth is actually younger than average age of marriage. More than half of moms younger than 30 have their first child without marrying — a sequence long entrenched among disadvantaged Americans that is now moving through “Middle America” — the 54 percent of Americans who graduated from high school and maybe even got some college, though not degrees.

The report says 44 percent of women have given birth by the time they reach age 25, while 38 percent have wed. Overall, 48 percent of first births occur outside of marriage.

There are other distinct journeys buried in the tale of delayed marriage, said Kay Hymowitz, William E. Simon Fellow at the Manhattan Institute. “It is working out very well indeed for college-educated men and women, particularly women,” because they tend to graduate and then start families. They typically have higher household income and probably also marry higher-achieving men.

Privileged Americans are using their 20s to accumulate experience and financial footing, said Bradford Wilcox, director of the National Marriage Project. Others are entering relationships that put them at risk. Men without degrees are less likely to have stable jobs, to be attractive as husbands or see themselves in that role, and to embrace the responsibilities of relationships and marriage.

But as co-author Jason S. Carroll, associate director of the School of Family Life at Brigham Young University and a senior fellow at the RELATE Institute, points out, young adults are engaging in sexual activity at about the same age they always did. Now, though, that’s before typical marriage. So babies are born to single moms or couples who live together.

“What we see happening in America is not simply a delay of marriage and having children, but a resequencing of these two life transitions,” Carroll said.

Cohabiting couples are twice as likely to break up, compared to married couples, said Wilcox. “Marriage is an institution that is surrounded by legal, religious and cultural meanings that people tend to take more seriously.”

Bad news for some

For the bulk of women, “it’s not working out as well,” Hymowitz said. “The non-marital birth rate we are used to seeing among the disadvantaged population is trickling to Middle Americans. The evidence is pretty convincing that children suffer when their parents’ lives are unstable.”

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