Linda & Richard Eyre: Post-Valentine’s Day advice for husbands

Richard here, flying solo for this week’s column.

Each year, I make a feeble effort on Valentine’s Day to write a poem for my sweetheart.

I wish I had written Linda’s Valentine’s Day poem a little sooner this year so that I could have put it in this column two weeks ago — but as usual, I was a little late. But hey, it’s still Valentine’s month, so let me share it anyway, especially with you guys out there who may need its advice as much as I do.

The poem comes out of a realization I had a while back that I think may have made Linda quite happy on some level. (And I know it made me happier, so it starts with that word.)

Happy is the man who comes to the epiphany

That even if he had a magic wand,

He would not change one single little thing

About his wife …

Real-eyes-ing

That a wife is a very complex

Physical/mental/spiritual organism,

And that tweaking one small part

Might well affect related aspects,

And could potentially alter or change

The very things he loves about her most.

Getting this straight in our guy-minds

May allow us to get over the little bugs

And appreciate the whole, complete, interrelated and symbiotic package

Rather than trying to disconnect one little wire somewhere

That might explode the whole essence.

After all, if you rewrote one tiny word

In one dialogue of a masterful play,

It might change the whole drama.

If you altered one chromosome,

It might throw the whole double helix out of kilter

And produce a different animal.

So we accept the best and worst aspects together,

Under-stand-ing

That they all are parts of one valentine whole.

If you can learn to do this, it will provide two gargantuan benefits:

First, it will enhance your own calmer, sweeter, deeper happiness,

And second, (believe it or not)

It will increase the chance that,

Short or long term,

She will, without harming other parts or disrupting the whole organism,

(As she alone and no one else can)

Improve the very things you would have ill-advisedly used your wand on

This may happen,

Or maybe it will just seem like it has because, post-epiphany,

You won’t notice the bugs anymore.

Richard and Linda Eyre are New York Times best-selling authors who lecture throughout the world on family-related topics. Visit them anytime at www.EyresFreeBooks.com or www.valuesparenting.com. Their latest Deseret e-book is “On the Homefront."